practicing vocals again. it's a little rough but i like it. this is the cinderella grey OP.

sorry for not making any art in a long time, i feel guilty for calling myself an artist. but i've deteriorated to a point where i can't really make anything, i can barely think. i mostly stutter my way through conversations and spend hours sitting alone, feeling alone. sorry.

hey good news, my psychiatrist changed my meds. hopefully this will make me feel better and i can work again :-)

i haven't been able to properly sleep in like 2 months and idk what's causing it. might be the meds? but it's made working on anything nearly impossible. i feel guilty about putting the channel on hiatus but i'm really not doing well lol.

her hand gets more pawlike everyday

hey, i relaunched my patreon as a life support page. i don't know when my channel will return. but if you want me to not die, please go here. (link below)

just letting y'all know that i took the patreon down. and i'm ceasing production of videos and things of that nature. i've just been dealing with a lot and after many health concerns i think i'm about ready to stop. i currently don't have a job so idk what i'm gonna do about money but yeah.

hey, i'm not really doing okay anymore. i think i might shut down the patreon and other stuff if that's okay. i'm about ready to call it. i don't know if i can finish the next video.

I don’t draw but I wanted to draw illya

Had a nice foggy walk home the other morning.

ultraman sneak peek #1

wish i could go back in time and teach david lynch how to use gmod. bet he would've made some crazy ass machinimas

guy who just found some old origami paper voice: many of you would fold in this situation

they should put saber in sonic racing and sonic rumble. I think saber and sonic would be good friends for a plethora of reasons. sega would make a saberillion dollars.

the new video might take a while to fully edit, since i've been having trouble sleeping and working. i will try to get it out within a reasonable time, but pls be patient.

finally got to the episode where ultraseven gets crucified

what the hell's going on here?

i've been rewatching this recently so i drew some fanart.

Sometimes someone posts "54% of US adults read below a sixth-grade level" with a snide, implicitly self-aggrandising comment attached and it really bubbles my piss juice. Low literacy is a failure of system, not personal responsibility. Nobody chooses to be illiterate.

i have not watched video essays in a long time. my FYP is old camcorder reviews, chemistry vids, and this vietnamese auntie that fixes TVs.

apparently using any footage from the Jissoji-directed "Father of Ultra Q" documentary gets my video blocked globally. but not footage from ultraman... huh

(sweating, crying) i... finished the ultraman script...

woah! the j-horror vid doubled in views recently!!! thank you guys for watching ;w; it's seriously my fav vid i've made. this really cheered me up hahaha. i promise the next one will be out soon. 🖤

i made a fake let's play video in the style of 2011 lol. youtu.be/Yt4qQkMOTY8

here's the next video's thumbnail.

i'm working on so many fun things. i really think this year will be awesome if you are at all interested in my stuff.

thank you guys for sharing that donation post. idk where i'd be if it wasn't for random strangers on the internet. i seriously think things will get better if i just keep trying. i'm gonna start job hunting after this new video. wish me luck!

at the park.

if things do come to an end, and i can no longer pay my internet bills or feed myself, i hope that whatever final thing i make is really awesome and funny though. because the least i could do is create something cool. that's just how it is when you're an art person.

depending on how things go i don't know how i'm gonna keep working on stuff. next video might be the last if shit hits the fan hard enough. my life has been conditional up to this point and i've relied on luck and others' kindness.

making a new donation post due to annoying life circumstances. please share or support if you can. sorry for the trouble.

rewatching ultraman with the wifey

i'm officially 2/3 of the way through the new video script. i don't have an ETA on the finished script but i'm making BIG progress.

oh my god check any channel. they've stopped mr domino.

i got a camcorder :D

creature

i ran a fundraiser to save me and my family from squalor. and the reason i got that wasn't because i needed help, it was because people liked me, they liked my videos and my voice, because i had been nice enough to earn it. the lives of me and my family depended on me being Good.

it's honestly exhausting how much of my livelihood and my life in general is tied to being a nice person, to being liked, to acting the "right" way, to not complaining or embarrassing myself. as someone struggling with mental illness and poverty, it makes me feel miserable.

i'm not one to post about this a lot but, if any of you are excited about future projects or wanna support someone who is unemployed and disabled, i have one of these. www.patreon.com/c/ilmutus

friends

im having so much fun working on the new album and the new video, im hoping they'll be awesome. the music especially is my best work to date.

Kota Hoshino and FreQuency’s music forever changed the core of my being. this isnt an exaggeration in the slightest my soul is happiest when listening to anything they’ve worked on

i'm watching Thunderbirds because it was apparently really popular in japan, and i'm now realizing that Shin Godzilla is basically a really long Thunderbirds episode. god i sound insane, don't i

new song. weird experimental pop/hiphop. ilmutus.bandcamp.com/track/petty

finally watched shinya tsukamoto's "a snake of june" from 2002. a very intense film, it's nice to see the continued use of monochrome presentation.