Made it through my work day! Time for kettlebell!

Why am I so fucking feeble?

I'm having a dizzy spell rn. I had refined sugar and starch over the weekend, and I think that's the cause of it.

The broccoli is on the edge of spoiling and I'm trying to make myself eat it and not be scared that it's gonna make me sick. It's still good, I'm just paranoid.

I'll be in the fucking zone while I'm actually working, but then I sit down on the couch and cover up in a blanket on my first break and all the sudden I don't want to be employed.

My period cramps have been so fucking wretched this morning, and knock on wood, but I think the midol is finally helping.

I don't feel high, just groggy.

Good night. I'm going to try to fall asleep, but I think I'm hypomanic so easier said than done.

I want to eaaaaaaaaaat.

Won't it be fun if r4t breeders have to cull entire stock because one got h4nta virus? What a fun time to be a b4ll pyth0n owner.

I made my smoothie, and it wasn't the worst thing ever.

I work tomorrow but idc I had an edible because I need something to take the edge off. Hopefully I'm not still high in the morning.

I want to make a smoothie but the blender noise is just such a barrier for me rn because I'm so tense and that's always been a bad noise for me.

I just want to fucking scream, I'm so high strung rn I'm not having a good time.

Steak and Caesar salad poops are here, and they're brutal.

I'm so friggin tired and I feel like I didn't do enough today.

I had steak and immediately felt queasy and started fretting over what it would feel like to puke up rare steak that I probably could have chewed better. I didn't throw up tho and I'm feeling much better. Jake patted my head and paid me some pity for my tummy ache, which I appreciate.

I'm rewatching Euph0ria S1 and then gonna actually finish S2 before starting S3, and while I do really like this show, now I get the "why are we watching teenagers have sex" criticism a lot of people had for it. It is really gratuitous and is clearly not for teens, so why center teens in the plot?

Okay, the dryer has stopped, which means it's time to put clothes away. And actually fold them and hang them up.

Pro tip: coffee tastes better when you take the five seconds needed to wash the pot w/ soap instead of rinsing it to oblivion and wondering why it gets more bitter every time.

No, I don't want sugar actually. No, I don't want sugar actually. No, I don't want sugar actually.

I want sugar so badly today.

Eating whatever I want today and I'm totally not going to regret this in the morning.

I'm comfortably wearing a medium unisex tshirt for the first time in 2 years. I honestly feel like I could cry, I'm so happy.

Period is coming and I made the mistake of weighing. We're not going to acknowledge the number on the scale because it's not real.

My legs still feel weak from my kettle bell routine yesterday. Which sucks because I'd like to play D/D/R today, but my legs cannot even hardly do stairs rn.

Didn't get fired lol

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A new day full of new opportunities!

I just ate an unregulated amount of chips and queso, and between that and dreading going into work tomorrow to face a mistake I made at the end of my shift...I want to x_x

I wanted to go to the gas station and get something to drink but I do not have the energy to work the peddles in the car. That's how fucked up I am.

I can't even walk down stairs without feeling like I'm going to eat shit. I'm so fuckkng weak.

Kettle bell workout with a 5lb bell. I could still only last 10 minutes. My legs are screaming, and my arms are shaking. I think I need more protein.

Gonna make a smoothie and sit on the couch and watch yt videos about celebrities being too skinny.

I'm very emotional right now and really want to eat my feelings but that's simply not an option.

Sleeping in is almost always a mistake.

Well Jake is home and I already snapped at him. So the night is going swell. He's in the shower, we'll see if the mood shifts once he's out.

I'm turning into a bitch over the fact that Jake worked 10hrs today instead of 8hrs, and I need to get my mood in check before he gets home so that I don't waste what little free time we have together being pissy. Huff huff.

80oz of water, three cups of coffee, 2 pints of smoothie. I do nothing but pee.

Smoothie piss.

I made a smoothie instead of making the salmon that I thawed out. I hadn't had any produce yet today, so this is the right move.

Jake was supposed to work 8hrs today but I think he forgot and now he's working 10hrs instead, so now I'm either going to have to wait until after 6pm to eat, or just eat alone.

I legitimately do not want this coffee in the slightest.

I want something cold to drink that's not the 80oz of water I've already drank today. But I don't have anything in the house except milk or the potential of making iced tea. I don't have ant loose stevia for iced tea, tho. Another pot of coffee it is. Cold just isn't on the menu.

I can feel my gut working up to a good dump after work.

Scale only went up .3lbs after taco bell yesterday. Nice. I was kind of expecting to be back in the 170s but I wasn't.

My normal routine is to wake up at 4:30am to have breakfast before I see Jake out the door at 5:20 and start work at 6, but since I'm I.F. I woke up at 5:15 and now I feel so disoriented.

I am genuinely so scared of touching the thermostat that I will let the house get to be 80°F before I grow the balls to turn the AC on. My dad was such a jerk about the thermostat that it's just ingrained in my soul to not touch it, even though I'm grown and not living in his house anymore.

Plan for the rest of the week is to intermittent fast. I'll simply skip breakfast like mom suggested I start off with.

Okay, I had my indulgence and it honestly hit the spot and I don't feel the need to eat anything else tonight. The rest of the week is just going to have to be strict so not to fuck up my average net intake.