can’t believe the NYT games wants me to get smoke mid

Applying for a job as the Pittsburgh Penguins official “Salute to service” war crimes investigator. The position doesn’t exist, but is needed

HAPPY PAT TILLMAN DAY

Gonna start wearing an Afghanistan Barkley jersey to all sporting events until the rampant nationalism stops

Going into the dealership with a gun and ain’t leaving without a below MSRP Nissan Rogue

Yes.

Egor Chinakhov is the solution to all of life’s problems

Mannnnnnnmnn what was Columbus doing with Egor Chinakhov

The Pittsburgh Penguins experience

Big sexy

Ok ok Connor Clifton internationally renowned super sniper

Pens PK is great. Sucks they have to prove it so often.

How many short handed breakaways is Connor Dewar not going to score on today? The number is 4 so far. It’s the second period.

Too many penalties

Arturs Silovs calls your mom mommy too

AVERY HAYES THIS TIME YOU ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING TO SUT THERE AND THINK ABOUT

[guy who sang baby beluga] the festering belly is splitting, each half digested soul fumbling for a knife

AVERY HAYES SIT IN THE BOX AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUR COACH DID

Failed challenge so now we’re fucked

Geno

Hockey fulfills my need to watch attempted murders live and in person

Last time I went to margaritaville was also the last time I’ve thrown up so don’t know why everyone so excited to go there

BOOO BOO BOOO

WHY ARE YOU CHEERING FOR THE ENEMY???

I’m going to do the Cat Flood bit with Avery Hayes tonight

Geno still on the wing with Sid out which means Tommy Novak First Line Center. Huh.

Penguins hockey

It’s five stalls, but each one has one of those troughs like the rest of the Hienz field bathroom, so really, 30 guys can shit at a time if they were real team players

If your the guy in the Penguins Kasparaitis jersey I think your cool

HYPERVENTILATING COMENCES

Montreal until Pittsburgh gets our team

Should I start carrying a legal pad into restaurants when I dine alone? I hear that’s what food critics and the Michelin people do

in less than 3 hours you can watch the greatest women's hockey player of all time for free on youtube www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4JK...

Just got a scam text claiming to be a court summon from Philly doctrine court over car related fines. Of all the issues (no info, don’t live in Philly, inconsistent seals, the government doesn’t text you, etc) my main issue is HOW DARE YOU CLAIM I OWN A CAR!!

THE PITTSBURGH PENGUINS PLAY HOCKEY TODAY!!!

Buying a women's us hockey jersey and walking around shaking my head so women will talk to me again

“So sad that the State Owned house of a politician is political”. Fuck you I hope your bunions get infected and kill you

“The mafia is coming for you” good. I hope my ride is coming

I hope Oakmont never changes, because I need somewhere to puke in a foxes pizza den guilt free (tbh that might have happened in Verona)

every trans girl is fighting a secret fight that you can solve by giving her 20 thousand dollars

State of the union: Dog it’s fucking baaad

Can I interest you in a Pitt loss to Stanford in the middle of the night?

Have spent my whole live being told by the women in my life I have thick/dense hair “for a white boy” just for the lady who cut my hair today to call it thin and delicate. I’m devastated, my sense of self has been shattered, my life is ruined

Better the fake Burger King than Me…

Fast Food Sushi™️

South Side. 1820 East Carson - Burger King. Yes, that one. Caller says a woman wearing cat ears is threatening to beat up and scratch employees. She has supposedly been kicked out once before.

The perfect mix of WWII bomb shelter and pure Class

TELL PITT TO FUCK OFF THEY GOT MY TUITION, MY BLOOD, MY SWEAT, MY TEARS, AND 22 YEARS OF UNDYING FANDOM ITS THEIR TURN TO GIVE ME SOMETHING FOR ONCE #pittdayofgiving

Penguins Trades are all a strange mix of 70% long term planing and 30% “what if we got Sid one more?” That lead a swap of average ish defensemen into a Dubas Masterclass

@spilly.bsky.social how we feeling about our defenseman swap?