You've Ginned your last Blossom.

www.nytimes.com/athletic/739... This is why the current Penguins rebuild is nowhere near its culmination. It’s a 10 year process.

The Sidney Crosby Hotel will open in 2028 in Pittsburgh. There will be a Tim Hortons, a floating mascot, two large ice rinks, and scheduled workouts twice a day whether you want them or not. When the captain says it’s time to be on the ice, you listen.

Penguins fandom rn.

And even to that point, which I said on the show, the Caps are 2-ish years ahead of the Pens on that ride. They’ve got the better prospect pool and young ready players so they can take some swings. Pens can’t yet

There’s more than a little bit of Capitals Envy going on with Penguins fans right now, which is ironic enough to be like raaaaaain on your wedding day. I’m not convinced that the Caps’ ceiling is as high as some are surmising.

I still have people waving “The Pens’ older guys aren’t blocking anyone” at me like they’re showing off baby pictures. It’s somehow something to be proud of that their prospects can’t beat out 40 year olds. Yet, somehow they speed ran the retool, are ready for the next step, and should cash in.

Welp, never mind. Eklund from SJ to Ottawa for the 9th overall. The easy path to moving up in the draft just closed.

If Kyle Dubas isn’t sliding into the Ottawa Senators’ DMs with glamour shots of Rakell and Karlsson at this moment, then what are we even doing?

At this point, let’s bring back Jaromir Jagr as Special Advisor And Director Of The Team Social Calendar. Jags knows how to have a good time.

www.nhl.com/penguins/new... As a player, absolutely. As an advisor, sure. As a future GM, definitely not, given what’s happened in Seattle for 7 years.

One team drafted Conn Smythe winners in 2004, 2005 and 2006. Not a bad stretch of drafting, I’d say.

I almost…almost was ready for the Mitch Marner redemption story. Then he started that “I’ll spill the Toronto tea if we win” nonsense. Then he ghosted. Of course, it’s not like the Leafs get to gloat. They haven’t seen the Cup Finals in a minute.

There needs to be a 2-3 question limit to interviews of the Cup winning players. This five question interrogation for each guy was awkward and painful. Like, seriously. Let them celebrate. All the deep philosophical ponderings can wait.

Something to think about: The NHLPA has let coaches be utter assholes for decades, especially if they were winning assholes. Mike Babcock is where they’ve apparently drawn the line. I don’t want to speculate on how bad that makes Babcock.

Seravelli clarified that Phonegate was not what got him to resign. There was something else worse than that.

Quite a hockey game tonight between Fancy Ketchup and Dijon Mustard.

Someone gave Sidney Crosby a first place Selke vote. No one else voted for him in any of the 5 places. I like Sid just fine, but is he the best two-way forward in the league over any of several alternatives? Dunno about that.

I feel like the hockey version of 82-0 went from new and innovative to jumping the shark in about 24 hours. Maybe it’s the fact that there are at least three websites now with that same game.

Brad Park is the weak link on this team.

82-0-0 · 164 pts · PERFECT. 82-0. 🟩 Heatley · 🟩 Lemieux · 🟦 Bure 🟦 Werenski · 🟩 Burns 🟩 Roy Build yours → capwages.com/82-0 Every great team apparently starts with Mario.

82-0-0 · PERFECT. 82-0. 🟩 Kaprizov · 🟩 Lemieux · 🟦 Parise 🟩 Park · 🟩 Bourque 🟩 Dryden Build yours → capwages.com/82-0

Kyle Dubas just gave himself an out with Malkin. He mentioned that 71 is “built different” than 87 and 58. He mentioned him playing better after rest/absences due to suspension and injury. Dubas is going to offer him a contact to be a part timer next year. 50 games. Keep him fresh.

DON HERTZFELDT, in this the year of our oversized spoon 2026, has uploaded a HD version of Rejected to his YT channel?!?!?! OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS I'M SO HAPPY HIIIIII

Kyle Dubas just gave himself an out with Malkin. He mentioned that 71 is “built different” than 87 and 58. He mentioned him playing better after rest/absences due to suspension and injury. Dubas is going to offer him a contact to be a part timer next year. 50 games. Keep him fresh.

Slightly increase a band. Gins Blossoms

Turns out I was right. The first round was indeed the Flyers’ Super Bowl. The most mediocre franchise in the history of the NHL continues its grand streak of never accomplishing anything of note. Well, there are the 6 Stanley Cup Final losses. GJ, guys.

Take advantage of the teams that are expecting success but not getting it (Dallas, Tampa), teams that want to rebuild (St Louis), and teams that desperately want to be out of the rebuilding cycle and are likely to make stupid decisions in their attempt. (Chicago). List not comprehensive.

Take advantage of the teams that are expecting success but not getting it (Dallas, Tampa), teams that want to rebuild (St Louis), and teams that desperately want to be out of the rebuilding cycle and are likely to make stupid decisions in their attempt. (Chicago). List not comprehensive.

This pretty much summarizes where I’m at with Malkin staying/going. “Who’s it going to hurt?” Their rebuild momentum. “Who’s he blocking?” Kindel, Chinakhov, and anyone else with actual potential. The future isn’t now, but it can be sooner. pittsburghhockeynow.com/pittsburgh-p...

Just read that Connor McDavid tied Adam Oates for the most career playoff points without a Stanley Cup. I think we just saw Sidney Crosby hand the title of "Adam Oates On Steroids" to Connor McDavid.

I'm fine with the Pens bringing back Malkin as long as they also bring in a forward by trade that is better than 71 is now. Current Geno as your best winger is a path to mushy meh. Geno as your second or third best winger is a team with actual depth. Give the old guys some help.

I get both sides of this. Pgh wants legends to stick around to the end. He's not blocking anyone. He moved to the wing without fuss. It makes 87/58 happy. He's also part of the room that hasn't won anything since 2018, often losing in embarrassing fashion, and that needs to be excised.

The Dallas Stars lose in the first round. They should take a good solid look at that roster. I think they’d be far better off doing something like, oh, sending Jason Robertson to the Penguins, just to pull a random example completely out of the thin air.

Kindel has the excuse of the rookie wall which he hit like 20 games ago. Mantha and Chinakhov, not so much. Competitive teams don’t have Novak in their top 6. Priority one is a top 6 center this offseason that can actually drive offense.

I want to be happy about this Penguins season…but these playoffs showed that all the old flaws are still there. Lack of composure. Reluctance to adapt. Playing down to an underdog opponent. Not digging in until it’s almost too late. A lack of young productive talent.

“Flip The Script” will have lasted less time than Patrick Marleau’s Penguins career, which I’m still not sure wasn’t some kind of hallucination.

The Pittsburgh Penguins fanbase has never experienced a real honest-to -goodness rebuild and it shows. Even during 2001-2005 it was “Lemieux is still here, everyone’s hurt, team is bankrupt, need a salary cap, Olympic gold medal, Dick Tarnstrom…oh hey, we have Sid!”

Also, I know this isn’t saying much when your team is down 0-3, but the “poor, starved Pittsburgh fans” act from a lot of local fans is some real loser energy. Since HDTV became accessible you’ve seen two Super Bowl wins, three Stanley Cups, and an extra trip to both finals. Settle down.

Seems like the Penguins need a new coach. One that will come in and teach them to “just play”.

It is the most Penguin thing to ever Penguin to take a year filled with optimism out of nowhere and the actual possibility of a retool on the fly…and then completely flush it down the latrine by proving that you can’t trust this group to rise to the occasion anymore.

A team that told us repeatedly that all they wanted was another chance to make the playoffs is showing us that making the playoffs was the extent of their gumption this season.

From @jmarshpgh.bsky.social in the 7th circle of hell. That’s the thing I would like to see bred out of the Penguins’ DNA. “Getting the horses to drink”. They want to play and win a certain way regardless of age or roster limitations or they’ll die trying. I guess that’s what 5 Cups gets you.

If Corsis were horsies, the Penguins would all be riding.

If the Penguins are going to turn it around, we’ve just got the catalyst: All of the usual media people posted their version of “we’re doomed, it’s so over, end of an era” last night. “Team Of Destiny, they’re something special” has been put back in the bin.

The Pens have tried “Flip The Script”. For the next two games, how about “Cut The Shit”?

They look like a team that achieved their personal goal for the season at game 79, which was making the playoffs. Then they chilled out for 3 games and seem confused that the games are still going on.