This morning I had quite a bad meltdown spiral. It’s been a while since it got that bad. But that’s what I’m trying to hold onto, that it had been a while. I have been getting better, I am still getting better and this blip doesn’t mean I’m a failure or going backwards.

Felix’s response to it still being too warum

Deep in big sads

This week has made me think that clothes are kinda overrated. Who needs ‘em

I got Paralives this week and decided to try make myself. Think it’s accurate

Got my plan through from my physio for fixing my back issues and making those muscles stronger As soon as I can do The Exorcist spider walk it’s over for you all

Got my first physio appointment today and I’ve had nae sleep and it’s too warm.

It’s a good time to remember that sparkling water is great and if you don’t like it, grow up tbh fyi lol

In case you didn’t know, it’s too bloody hot

Little overthink as a treat before bed

I’m not a super big Disney person but what a fucking tune I’ll Make a Man Out of You.

No Emily. You shouldn’t buy these for your physio appointments..

My entry for the Nice Friendly Community Song Contest III from Saturday! I missed the whole thing but I'm catching up on www.twitch.tv/pezabeth who did amazing job hosting FOR THEIR FIRST STREAM?! Absolute legend.

I couldn’t go to Cannes Festival because John Travolta stole my look and it would’ve been awkward.

Its a good thing I’m not super anxious around people, have big stress about being outside and have issues walking without pain cause the 45min scavenger hunt my work set up would’ve been a nightmare for me 😐

It’s good to wake up feeling incredibly stressed, overwhelmed and anxious for no actual reason. Would like to hide from the world plz

Sometimes, on occasion, my brain thinks “actually things are okay”. It’s nice even if rare.

Eurovision is DEAD to me. Nice Friendly Community Song Contest with my internet friends? HELL YEA Help us raise money towards Medical Aid for Palestinians! www.twitch.tv/pezabeth

Today is the day of our Eurovision alternative the Nice Friendly Community Song Contest raising money for @medicalaidpal.bsky.social ! If you are able to donate please do, they are still doing very important work even if it's not in the headlines anymore. IT WILL BE GOOD!

Crisps are great eh. Shoutout crisps.

Anyhow, y'all are getting at least one more big show before the B. Dolan experiment is done. This is your invite to the grand unveiling of a new virtual concert and #Minecraft art exhibit? Always so hard to describe what is about to happen, but it's happening Sunday! netherrap.com for full deets!

Hot damn! This is getting close! And having heard most of the entries you are going to be absolutely blown away! (Assuming you watch. Please watch. Please.)

There is zero reason Mambo no 5 should be stuck in my head right now but that’s where I am this morning.

Getting woken up by someone flashing a light at your window is, oddly enough, not cool

I’m kinda proud of myself a little bit (only a little bit). I had hospital appointment on Monday which is a bit of a trigger for me and an office day which causes big anxiety but I bloody did them and I’m focusing on the positives of that instead of falling into the big bad brain.

Yesterday I had a super fun internal ultrasound. Today I’m having an office day. I’m not thriving. This is the opposite of thriving for me.

Got a scan today to see if my insides are behaving or the cause of suffering. Whoop

This guy has been the source of anxiety this morning by acting really out of character and hiding. Now he’s back to normal staring at me intensely for food.

If some mystical being is actually controlling me (just on the off chance) can you turn down my anxiety levels please? It’s been set too high today.

I was recently asked to draw a picture of my cat Felix with a pair of pants (my cat is a freak who steals my pants) and my apparently “creepy” cuddly toy Fergal being disgusted at him. So here you go. Art.

No you hurt your back attempting to do Gnarly dance, you silly old woman.

Ignore Eurovision and join us for the Nice Friendly Community Song Contest! An incredible evening of music created by our wonderfully talented community. Saturday 16th May! tiltify.com/@waspskillbears/nfc2026 ^^^Here to donate ^^^

Meet Fergal. Fergal is my childhood cuddly toy. He’s a good guy. There is no weird reason that he no longer has fur. No one ate his fur off like a freak. Just a perfectly normal cuddly toy.

Wish I felt okay tbh

Met Gala looks im vibing with

Tea and looking at ever Met gala outfit. Let’s do this.

Had a lovely much needed catch up lunch yesterday 🩷💙

Oot for lunch

Just a hairy wee man sitting on a chair

BPD is complex and difficult. It can feel isolating and scary. It can make you feel like the worst person ever to exist. Being deep in a spiral is horrible. But I know I can get out of it, that I can get better, that I can get control back. It’s hard as hell but everyday I’m fighting it

I feel really defeated. It’s hard to see anything positive for me.

Id like my brain to quiet down and stop bombarding me with every shite thought it can conjure up. I gotta sleep

Just an unfit 35 year old woman looking at joining a kpop dance class.

What a glorious cat

Why must I work when I want to just shove on a shawl and twirl around my room to Fleetwood Mac. Life isn’t fair.

Wish this was me right now

Other than Coven just being iconic, no series of AHS has been as good as Asylum.

Just a girl craving a giant pretzel and a can of coke

Multitasking overthinking with being hip & cool & doing memes lolz

Worrying over (mostly). Nothing super scary but my body is still a bit of a mess and more tests needed. Whoop.