Me: I've been wanting to do this for ages. Can I please just do it? Just a little bit? My executive function: No do. Only guilt.

Being autistic changes how we communicate, how we solve problems, and how we navigate daily life. Learning that we are autistic, or being diagnosed, often changes all of this over again as we develop a better understanding of ourselves and how our brain works

Them: The rules are the rules… My autistic ass, making notes: *nods* Them: …unless they're more of a guideline… Me: *nodding slows* Them: …or everyone knows that it's not ACTUALLY a rule Me: wait… WHAT!?!?

Wild take. Taking care of yourself is better than not taking care of yourself. There are plenty of times we think "it'd be better if I did it in the morning" or "it'd be better if I did it when I…" STOP! Taking care of yourself now is better than putting it off for some idea of perfect self-care

We need to stop focusing exclusively on consequences when it comes to managing ADHD. We need to understand how we got to that outcome. If we change these, we may be able to change the result for the next time. For example:

If you ask me, the hardest part of accommodating the way your neurodivergent brain works isn't finding the strategies or tools. It's learning to accept that you need the strategies or tools and that it doesn't change your value as a person

It's almost never only one person who has ADHD in a family. When one person is diagnosed, it's SO common for parents and siblings to also figure out that their ADHD too. This is the power of knowing what ADHD actually looks like… and, well, genetics

Psst. There is no rule that you have to do self-care in a specific way. If it helps you, do it. Yes, even if that means drinking coffee because you can't get yourself to drink water. Yes, even if you brush your teeth at 2pm rather than in the morning

Welcome to ADHD club. The first rule of ADHD club is store things where you're going use them~! ...did you think I was going to say something else?

A lot of ADHD'ers process information verbally. It can be a super effective strategy, but it also a vulnerable state because our thoughts are still forming and changing. Choosing when, where, and with whom it's safe to be this vulnerable is key to it's success

Neurodivergent success can't be only be measured by neurotypical standards

Nothing convinces me that my brain is ACTUALLY different than other people faster than when people say: "Just make an L with your hands. The one that's an L is your left." frfr, my brain sees those as the exact same. My brain immediately says both are 'L' no matter how your rotate or flip it

We need to stop focusing exclusively on consequences when it comes to managing ADHD. We need to understand how we got to that outcome. If we change these, we may be able to change the result for the next time. For example:

Anything worth doing is worth half-assing. I promise. Seriously, if doing something perfectly is going to improve your life or functioning, half-assing it is still going to improve your life or functioning 9 times out of 10

Every strength of ADHD can also be a weakness, depending on context. For example ADHD'ers often excel at generating and connecting thoughts in unorthodox ways. This can be a strength when we're brainstorming, but when we're trying to draft a to-do list, this can be overwhelming and paralyzing.

For ADHD'ers, it can feel super urgent to say what's on our mind. We worry we'll forget it if we don't. We feel like we're holding back a torrent of thoughts, associations, and feelings. While this can be true, it can also be unsustainable, overwhelming, or dysregulating

Judging ourselves for our neurodivergent struggles is nasty feedback loop that destroys self-esteem. Shame actually makes it harder to stay regulated, pay attention, or identify strategies that might help, and then if fail we pile on more shame making it harder again

Me: I have such big plans for when I get home from work today. My plans: rotting in a cool, dimly lit room, wearing only the comfiest of clothes, eating my safe foods, and falling down only the finest of Wikipedia rabbit holes

Many ADHD and/or autistic people struggle with processing speed. This can impact one area, like auditory or sensory processing; multiple areas; or all types of processing. Knowing our personal strengths and struggles in terms of processing helps us understand and accommodate our needs

ADHD coaches generally come from more diverse educational backgrounds than therapists. Some come from an education background and excel at supporting academic goals. Others come from business and support management and workplace executive functioning

For me, and many ADHD'ers, active listening isn't just about the other person. Summarizing and reflecting what the other person said is also about making it fit in my head, or reducing the amount of information I need to cram into my already limited working memory

Them: …why do you know that? Me: You mean you don't go on random learning binges at 3am? …sounds fake

Coping ahead, or pre-processing, can be a valuable strategy for ADHD and/or autistic people who struggle with processing speed. Understanding the context beforehand, or even scripting responses, can reduce demands on processing speed and prevent cognitive logjams during a meeting or interaction

You want to understand how I got my answer? I have ADHD, so… you get the red string, I'll get the thumb task and random printouts.

Struggles loom so large for ADHD and/or autistic people sometimes, and this brings with it intense pressure to completely avoid failure, struggle, or awkwardness. That's not possible. Stop making this the goal. Instead, make the goal to do just a little bit better

ADHD brains move FAST. In some circumstances, that's a huge benefit. In others, it's huge liability. We don't have to slow down all the time. Understanding when it helps us towards our goals, and learning how to slow down when it doesn't, is so important to managing ADHD in a sustainable way

Could you imagine what we could accomplish if we harness the amount of energy AuDHD spend trying to figure out what that little noise no one else can hear is?

People act like if something happens in our brain we should be able control it somehow. How incredibly naïve. Our thoughts, emotions, interpretations, etc. are much more like breathing. We can have some control over it, but it's often still an automatic system

Medical professionals need training on how to communicate with autistic, ADHD, and other neurodivergent people. Even if doctors are no more likely than anyone else to have communication breakdown with neurodivergent patients, the stakes can just be so much higher

Without interest or curiosity most ADHD and/or autistic people struggle. Even the teeniest, tiniest ways of building our interests into mundane tasks can help with getting started, staying focused, planning, remembering, following through and more

Them: Just be yourself. My traumatized neurodivergent ass: …but what about my years of training myself to not be myself to avoid being gocked at, harrassed, or made fun of…?

Most autistic people have differences in verbal and/or non-verbal communication. Where it becomes a problem is when people judge us based on neurotypical communication standards. This is especially risky if the person making that judgment power or authority

Nothing breeds doubt in my neurodivergence faster than a single good brain day and nothing breeds endless self-blame and guilt like a single bad brain day

Taking notes is such an underrated fidget. It helps with focus, yes, but it also can help us process information, remember things, and make connections to other information. And it works even if we never look at our notes again. Even if we can't read them. Even if the notes "don't make sense"

I long for a day where I'm left to my own devices and I can just work away on any project I feel like. …too bad I have the executive function of a licorice jellybean and can't start anything without the direct threat of urgency

Personal context and differences matter so much when we're talking about trauma. What's traumatic for the one person may not be traumatic for another. We can't judge what was traumatic to someone else from what we'd find traumatic, and we need to stop trying to

I WAS paying attention. I WAS listening. I heard you. ...the problem is that I thought of how train tracks have different spacings in different countries and it all went poof

"You need to feel your feelings" "but HOW??" Well, start by being aware of your emotions. Notice how they impact your behaviour, thoughts, and how you feel in your body. Stop repressing them and accept these impacts. Finally, adapt to the impacts so you can still work towards the things you value

Ugh... Habits and routines are such a pain with ADHD. They take time; consistent motivation and memory; and slow, deliberate progress, which are super hard which feels impossible. With solid rewards, unmissable cues, and a willingness to rebuild them time and again, we can have strong routines too

Working memory capacity is reduced by ADHD. This means that ADHD'ers are not able to hold as much information in our memory, which limits our ability manipulate it or decide what to do with it. All while our memory resets more easily too

The ADHD life be like: I'm sorry could you say that again? I couldn't hear you over the 3 stories, 6 fun facts, and 2 cringey memories my brain needed to tell me

The big, fast emotions of ADHD can feel like they take up all the room in our head and body. It's completely overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be. It is possible to learn to acknowledge and feel them without being consumed, and this can give back space and allow us a better sense of balance

Boomers: I don't understand these fidget toys. You shouldn't need toys as an adult. Literally the same exact boomer: *bouncing their leg while twirling the phone cord of their landline with a desk full of oil drop hourglasses*

Neurodivergent struggles are NOT character flaws or a sign that we're broken. Our struggles are a sign that we can't rely on the (neuro)typical model to understand ourselves and our needs. We need to accept our differences, accommodate ourselves appropriately, and succeed on our own terms

Autistic people are people and we vary widely from each other. Yes, we vary in cognitive abilities, independence skills, and our constellation of autistic symptoms, but we also vary in personality, skills, passions, and goals. There is no one-size-fits-all method to work with autistic people

Them: Tell me about the thing you like. My emotions: OMG IT'S HAPPENING!! SQUEE~ My information processing: …*blank stare* My anxiety: Wait have I ever liked anything in my entire life!?

Me, opening the fridge: What did I come in here for? Me, holding my phone: What was I going to do again? Me, standing in the doorway: What was I looking for again? My ADHD: Mwhaha! Yeeeessss! All according to plan!

People of color, women, and low-income folks are less likely to be identified as autistic. However, there's no reason to assume that actual prevalence rates differ. Instead, we're likely just missing, or misdiagnosing, people who are actually autistic Source: journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1...

Doomscrolling checkpoint. Please deposit one fact about your special interest that people always get wrong in order to proceed

Habits are behaviours that are triggered by an environmental cue, either internal or external. They can be simple responses--such as reaching for our phone when we hear a notification--or complex routines--like the order of operations we take to shower