In short, there's simply not A more congenial spot For happily-ever-aftering Than here in Kimmelot www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h7E...

"Democrats should begin making it loud and clear that if and when MAGA is dethroned, those who broke the law, those who corrupted our democracy out of deference to Trump will be held accountable." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/is-the-jim...

"When Putin and Orban were consolidating their autocratics, they were genuinely popular. They were perceived by the public as effective and competent leaders. Just nine months into his presidency, Trump, by contrast, is deeply unpopular." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/is-the-jim...

"“In 2006, when Chávez referred to George W. Bush as the Devil and said, ‘This rostrum still smells like sulfur,’ most of us thought his record for making the most crazy-ass UN speech would stand for generations,” Guinness spokesperson Harland Dorrinson said." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

If, as Leavitt claimed, he's "at the peak of his physical and mental powers," he should have been able to run up the escalator.

"“There is no one with any talent on ABC at 11:30,” Trump declared. “But if you defy me and watch, you are going straight to Hell.” . . Closing his meandering speech with one final reminder, Trump declared, “That’s 10:30 Central Time.”" open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

"Logsdon said that the medical school would soon release additional findings linking Trump’s presidency to an increased use of alcohol, marijuana, and crack." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

"Eager to short-circuit the madness, he has introduced a bill in the U.S. House to outlaw middecade redistricting nationwide. What happens is quite likely to be nothing. Nada. Bupkis." www.nytimes.com/2025/09/22/o...

"What made you want to work in law enforcement? Patel: Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to bungle a murder investigation. How do you approach solving crimes? Patel: I find the most dedicated, nonpartisan professionals I can, and then I fire them." theonion.com/the-onions-e...

"There are many valid criticisms one could make about the details of the H-1B program, which could definitely be improved. But Trump’s attack on the program is purely destructive, knocking away yet another pillar supporting American greatness." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/hey-lets-u...

"“We’re confident that all of Kash’s jokes will be acceptable to the president, especially since his head writer will be Stephen Miller,” Iger said." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

No competent federal prosecutor would bring baseless charges against political targets, but Bondi's not competent. She's a Trump lackey who will do whatever he says. If a judge dismisses the charges, Trump will attack the judge, but he can't fire judges. www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

I'm glad to live in the state that's governed by Newsom. www.latimes.com/california/s...

"When another panel member, Retsef Levi, spoke on the importance of randomized controlled trials for vaccines — an approach pushed by Kennedy and criticized as unrealistic by some vaccine experts — someone could be heard saying “you’re an idiot.”" www.washingtonpost.com/health/2025/...

Stable Business Genius by Calvin Trillin, The Nation "President Trump has unmatched business instincts." - Karoline Leavitt As wily businessman, he'd had the aim Of branding acquisitions with his name Those Trump-themed ventures were a masterstroke However, didn't a lot of them go broke?

"Raids, the threat of more raids, and the promise to deport 3,000 people a day, are sabotaging Trump’s economic agenda and eroding his support among Latinos. Restaurants have suffered, construction has slowed and fruit has rotted on vines. ." www.latimes.com/california/s...

"I'm trying to reach as many people as possible because they clearly don't want us to write about race and speak about race and teach about race, but I'm going to do it anyway. And we're going to move anyway." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/karen-attiah

"Comedy Central, which is owned by Paramount, announced it will not air reruns of the second episode of the latest season after Kirk was assassinated Sept. 10 in Utah. The episode can still be found on the Paramount+ streaming service." www.latimes.com/entertainmen...

Cartoon by @billbramhall.bsky.social. I'm getting my flu shot next week at my doctor's office. I got my Covid shot today at CVS. I'm a pro-vaxer, unlike RFK Jr and his gang of anti-vax quacks.

"Trump continued his channel-surfing marathon by asking his son Barron to turn on Netflix so he could find something to cancel there." theonion.com/bored-trump-...

"You're just a pathetic wannabee monarch. No matter what you do, you'll never be a real King like me."

"“Who is that guy? His face seems so familiar,” said Trump, pausing in the middle of shaking hands with various royal dignitaries to get a closer look at the disgraced Duke of York. ." theonion.com/trump-spends...

"At press time, the fearful nation urged the GOP to shelter it from any books, radio, digital media, newspapers, or films." theonion.com/nation-grate...

It's the measles virus that's winning, not the parents. www.nytimes.com/2025/09/18/u...

"Soon, the only comedian left on TV will be Karoline Leavitt." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

"Democratic leadership must adopt a cohesive and engaged agenda that actively calls out and addresses the problems of American men, as well as decrying MAGA’s naked incitement in the wake of Kirk’s murder." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/exploiting...

"“I mean, the streets are packed with people chanting my name,” he bragged. “And tons of them are carrying signs with ‘Trump’ on them. Wow!”" open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

"I gave Putin a ride in my limo in Alaska, but he never got to do this."

I plan to go to the 2028 L.A. Olympics. I'll be 44 years older than I was when I went to the 1984 L.A. Olympics, but so will everyone else who went in '84. www.latimes.com/sports/olymp...

"I want to be a King like you."

"It’s hard to imagine that Trump cares much whether or not his promises work out for the people who believed them . . . He already has what he wants: freedom from accountability for a lifetime of lawbreaking and an easy way to line his pockets." www.nytimes.com/2025/09/17/o...

"Noem defended her department’s expenditure of $85,000 to outfit the agents in sequined jumpsuits, arguing that such a disguise was necessary for ICE to blend into the population inconspicuously." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

Jazz vocalese pioneer Jon Hendricks (1921-2017) was born 104 years ago today. www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfpO...

B.B. King (1925-2015) would have been 100 today. www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgXS...

"The report concluded that if you shared this article with a friend or family member, you should prepare yourself to be arrested on domestic terrorism charges." theonion.com/report-you-t...

". . the important thing to say is that the horror of Charlie Kirk’s murder shouldn’t prevent us from admitting that his influence was largely built on catering to white male resentment." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/women-jobs...

"According to Trump and his toadying henchmen—Justa Dick Vance, Whiskey Pete Hegseth, and Stephen Miller aka Pee-Wee German—it is now a crime in America to make any comment about Charlie Kirk that does not compare him favorably with Gandhi." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

"“You showed a real knack for catching criminals when you identified your son in those photos we released, so how about continuing your hot streak by taking a look at these open investigations?” said Patel" theonion.com/desperate-ka...

Make Viral Epidemics Great Again

"After Andrew asked what he and Trump could possibly talk about over their pizza, Charles suggested, “Maybe you two can reminisce about your good times with Jeffrey Epstein.”" open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

"“Wait…so the millions of people watching on national television can see who I am?” said wide receiver Malik Nabers, scrambling to pull a hoodie over his jersey so as not to have his name associated with a historically awful Giants team coming off a 3-14 season." theonion.com/giants-playe...

Trump's Replacement for Offshore Wind. Cartoon by Edith Pritchett, Washington Post. Another replacement for offshore wind is the flatulence from his anus.

"I had just one economics class in college, but I don’t recall a section on the value of deporting construction workers, car washers, elder-care workers, housekeepers, nannies, gardeners and other people whose only crime . . is a desire to show up for work." www.latimes.com/california/s...

"According to White House sources, Donald J. Trump made the decision after concluding that the deer would instill more confidence during its media appearances." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

I enjoy fireworks at the Hollywood Bowl, but I saw Chicago without fireworks at the Fillmore East in NYC in the late 60s, so I'll skip this. Amazingly, three original members are still with the band: Robert Lamm on keyboards & vocals, James Pankow on trombone and Lee Loughnane on trumpet.

Cartoon by adamziglis.bluesky.social

". . the President doesn’t care one bit about all those sanctimonious calls for healing. It is not a dialogue about the crisis of political violence in America that he wants right now but an aggressive new policy of political vengeance." www.newyorker.com/news/letter-...

"“When that first shot rang out, we all figured it was going to be a run-of-the-mill mass shooting” said UVU junior Michael Tompkins. . “It’s chilling that a person we thought was a normal, unhinged campus shooter was actually a political assassin."" theonion.com/witnesses-as...

Make Coffee Great Again. www.nytimes.com/2025/09/11/b...

"Trump revealed that as a time-saving measure, he would often dash off a large stack of such letters to child molesters in advance and fill in the specific details of the underage sex parties later." theonion.com/trump-claims...