"At press time, a panicking Vice President JD Vance was reportedly struggling to come up with the $500,000 he had pledged for the hundreds of boxes of liquid-tight serving bowls that were now stacked in front of his home." theonion.com/report-trump...

It wasn't the fault of Balogun, who Trump got his lackey Infantino to reinstate after he was red-carded. USA lost to a better team. Trump can't claim it was rigged, although he probably will anyway. #WorldCup www.nbcnews.com/sports/socce...

"Claiming that “nobody cares” about Khamenei’s funeral, Trump said he expects the turnout at his funeral to set records, noting, “Every day, people say to me, ‘Sir, I can’t wait for that day to come.’”" open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

"After years working on his own and with his wife, the singer Lani Hall, Alpert revived the Tijuana Brass name in 2024 and launched a tour that will stop Sunday night at the Hollywood Bowl." I'm going to see them tonight. It's their first Bowl concert since 1968. www.latimes.com/entertainmen...

"The hero who commanded the Continental Army was protective of the nascent democracy, realizing its fragility. Cadet Bone Spurs maliciously erodes it, seeing it as a hindrance to his lust for untrammeled power and cash grabs." www.nytimes.com/2026/07/04/o...

They're analists, not analysts. Their noses are firmly pressed against Patel's anus, just as Patel's nose is adjacent to Trump's anus. apnews.com/article/geor...

"In what would be major news except for all the other disasters happening, Donald Trump has declined to renew the USMCA — the successor to the North American Free Trade Agreement — which he himself negotiated." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/the-end-of...

Cartoon by John Darkow, The Columbia Missourian

"At almost every stage of childhood development, . . programs aimed at preserving or enhancing children’s health have gone on the chopping block. . . The combination of reduced immunization and poor nutrition build on each other." www.latimes.com/business/sto...

"The bulk of her revenue came from a $10.7 million licensing agreement related to the “Melania” movie . . . The first lady also earned $6 million from sales of her memecoin and roughly $500,000 from the publication of her autobiography, “Melania.” www.nytimes.com/2026/07/02/u...

"According to sources, the president concluded the warning by casually stating his name was Sleepy Joe Biden and then hanging up the receiver." theonion.com/trump-covers...

"The justice channels anti-Italian conspiracies of the past by casting doubt on the national allegiances of the U.S.-born children of Mexican, Guatemalan and Salvadoran immigrants — the same patriotism test that Italian Americans faced generations ago. . ." www.latimes.com/california/s...

"There have been many comments that a future Democratic president could make extensive use of these new powers, but this Court is utterly partisan. The moment a Democrat takes office, it will instantly decide that he or she has almost no discretionary power." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/a-verdict-...

"In a desperate bid to keep his name on his signature building, he offered Carroll the naming rights to Eric Trump, which she immediately refused." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

"While California’s seven-day grace period for mail ballots has contributed to slow tabulations, it has not been shown to trigger fraud or unreliable vote counts." www.latimes.com/politics/sto...

"He said that he was considering demolishing Walter Reed National Military Medical Center because “I’m going to need a bigger hospital.” open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

"The Iran war has cost the average American household between $775 and $1,300 in fuel and taxpayer costs, according to one analysis. Only 23% of Americans say the war was worth the costs, according to a recent Reuters/Ipsos poll." www.latimes.com/politics/sto...

"Mexicanos al grito de guerra / El acero aprestad y bridón / Y retiemble en sus centros la tierra / Al sonoro rugir del cañon" www.latimes.com/california/s...

"“Hog competitions are one of the last bastions of civility in our increasingly divided nation, and I won’t risk alienating large portions of the swine show community by participating in an ideologically driven event. . . I must say no to this offer.”" theonion.com/prize-hog-dr...

"Campaign Slogan: “Come Alone With Small, Unmarked Bills” Position On Pedophilia: Moderate Good Side: Neither Political Goals: Not going to prison Most Embarrassing Moment: Forgetting who was bribing who in middle of exchange What He’ll Do If He Loses: Sue the voters" theonion.com/political-pr...

At the start of World Cup games, they play the two countries' national anthems. The Netherlands' anthem sounds to me like "The Twelve Days of Christmas." www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBt9...

"First, we fear that AI will do terrible things because the companies selling it told us it would do terrible things. . Second, many ordinary people view AI negatively because they feel that it is being forced on them." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/why-does-e...

"“The Dodgers have been in L.A. for 68 years,” said Joseph Tomás McKellar, executive director of PICO California. “They’re beloved among immigrant communities in a way that no other sports team is. That gives the Dodgers cultural and financial power in the region.” www.latimes.com/sports/dodge...

"Adding insult to injury, Chat responded to subsequent prompts by informing Vance that Obama reached this deal without a reckless military campaign that closed the Strait of Hormuz and required the US to pay Iran $300 billion." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

Alternative song lyrics about Trump's lie that vandals caused the peeling blue coating and algae blooms in the reflecting pool. The pool don't work Blame the vandals for the scandals www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGxj...

Happy Taco Tuesday.

A dead duck was found in the reflecting pool.

"The point . . is that once a leader has lost the public’s economic trust, that trust doesn’t come back just because gasoline prices have receded." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/will-surre...

"“Temperatures are running high, and the last thing we need are hotheaded Democrats spewing hateful, inflammatory statements sourced directly from the president’s speeches,” said Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R-LA)." theonion.com/gop-urges-de...

Major Unrest reports to Colonel Chaos.

"Haberman and Swan have done admirable work, but one turns the final pages of “Regime Change” hoping that their next book is the story of transition, from the era of Trump to one of democratic renewal. That chapter cannot come soon enough." www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...

"AI IPOs have less a forward-looking than a fin de siècle aura about them. Rather than harbingers of a new world, they may be signs that insiders are hoping to get out while the getting is good — in other words, that the AI bubble is deflating in front of our eyes." www.latimes.com/business/sto...

"“Thank you, Los Angeles, for your hospitality,” the note read. “And thank you to every Iranian who gave their heart, voice, and soul for Iran throughout these 180 minutes. “May peace, respect and friendship prevail among all nations.”" www.latimes.com/sports/socce...

WaPo photo shot from the scaffolding shows Kennedy Center after Trump's name was removed.

"While USMNT players expound thoughtfully on the importance of Juneteenth, vocal Trump supporter Lalas is busy doing promo videos for the Department of Homeland Security." www.theguardian.com/football/202...

"The Trumpists, it turns out, have prioritized their “anti-woke” ideology over military effectiveness. They have given free rein to bigotry, rejecting distinguished, highly regarded Black and female officers in favor of politically loyal white men." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/how-maga-u...

"By mid-morning, tourists gawking at the pool fiasco were stunned to see the Secretary of State doing a backstroke entirely naked except for his oversized Florsheims, which he appeared to be using as flippers." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

Remembering my father, Bill Bellikoff (1915-2011), on Father's Day. He was born the same year as Frank Sinatra, Orson Welles and Billy Strayhorn and outlived them all. This was shot at his 90th birthday party.

Today at Shinnecock Hills, golf fans behaved like rowdy basketball and football fans. The golf U.S. Open is closed. The tennis U.S. Open opens at the end of August. sports.yahoo.com/golf/article...

"With Newsom eyeing a presidential bid in 2028, he might be reluctant to brand himself as a defender of an increasingly unpopular industry. But Schnur said the governor likely also has concerns about angering one of his biggest backers." www.latimes.com/california/s...

Use the euphemisms like "without offering substantiation," LA Times and keep it simple: "Trump lies about Reflecting Pool." www.latimes.com/world-nation...

Trump $250 Bill by Calvin Trillin in The Nation Trump wants his picture everywhere Like any other boaster Some think that where it does belong Is on a "Wanted" poster

The Reflecting Pool fiasco is a reflection of his stupidity and incompetence.

"The preliminary agreement he just reached with the Iranian regime was more like a conditional surrender — by the United States. . . Trump’s fundamental mistake was not ending the war but getting into it in the first place." www.nytimes.com/2026/06/20/o...

"As James Story, the U.S. diplomat, sees it, Rodríguez is counting on four things: a loss of interest on Trump’s part; his distraction with another foreign-policy issue; a Republican loss at the polls in November; and the end of Trump’s term." www.newyorker.com/news/the-led...

"As the rival developer Leona Helmsley once said of Trump, “I wouldn’t believe him if his tongue was notarized.”" www.nytimes.com/2026/06/20/o...

"Brazil is home to the largest population of people of African descent outside of Africa, while Haiti became the first sovereign Black nation in the world, and just the second in the Americas, after fighting against France for independence in 1804." www.nytimes.com/athletic/737...

One of these days, algae will bloom on Trump himself. It will be more evidence that he's gone to seed.