Man Wearing Necklace Spends Entire Day Gnawing on It: https://reductress.com/post/man-wearing-necklace-spends-entire-day-gnawing-on-it/

Wow! This Woman Remembers What Caused Her Bruise: https://reductress.com/post/wow-this-woman-remembers-what-caused-her-bruise/

Chef’s Kiss! This Chef Tried to Kiss a Bunch of People and Is Under Investigation: https://reductress.com/post/chefs-kiss-this-chef-tried-to-kiss-a-bunch-of-people-and-is-under-investigation/

Greg Bovino Patrolling Streets of Minneapolis in Knock-Off 1940s Hugo Boss: https://reductress.com/post/greg-bovino-patrolling-streets-of-minneapolis-in-knock-off-1940s-hugo-boss/

Democrats Applaud Masked ICE Agents for Stopping Spread of COVID: https://reductress.com/post/democrats-applaud-masked-ice-agents-for-stopping-spread-of-covid/

Man Just Needs to See Video From a Few Thousand More Angles to Confirm Murder: https://reductress.com/post/man-just-needs-to-see-video-from-a-few-thousand-more-angles-to-confirm-murder/

Full-Scale Authoritarian Takeover Making It Difficult to Focus on Email: https://reductress.com/post/full-scale-authoritarian-takeover-making-it-difficult-to-focus-on-email/

Devil’s Advocate Heroically Challenges Everyone’s Enjoyment of Dinner: https://reductress.com/post/devils-advocate-heroically-challenges-everyones-enjoyment-of-dinner/

Woman Spends 40 Minutes With Chatbot to Avoid Two Minute Phone Call With Human: https://reductress.com/post/woman-spends-40-minutes-with-chatbot-to-avoid-two-minute-phone-call-with-human/

Nation Willing to Bet Nothing Bad Could Come From Making Everything About Gambling: https://reductress.com/post/nation-willing-to-bet-nothing-bad-could-come-from-making-everything-about-gambling/

Fossil Evidence Reveals First Man to Play Devil’s Advocate Had Bludgeoned Skull: https://reductress.com/post/fossil-evidence-reveals-first-man-to-play-devils-advocate-had-bludgeoned-skull/

Movie a Lot More Fun When Woman Doesn’t Scroll on Phone for Entire Duration: https://reductress.com/post/movie-a-lot-more-fun-when-woman-doesnt-scroll-on-phone-for-entire-duration/

New Subway Ad That Calls You Fat Not Even Selling Anything: https://reductress.com/post/new-subway-ad-that-calls-you-fat-not-even-selling-anything/

Bummer! Hot Guy in Old Movie Old Now: https://reductress.com/post/bummer-hot-guy-in-old-movie-old-now/

J.D. Vance Surprised to Learn Cuckolding Can Result in Pregnancy: https://reductress.com/post/j-d-vance-surprised-to-learn-cuckolding-can-result-in-pregnancy/

Grand Plan to Eat Healthier Lasts One Cucumber: https://reductress.com/post/grand-plan-to-eat-healthier-lasts-one-cucumber/

‘Time Flies!’ Says Woman Who’s Never Tried to Grow Out Bangs: https://reductress.com/post/time-flies-says-woman-whos-never-tried-to-grow-out-bangs/

Gladiator? Woman Gave a Thumbs Down in the Group Chat: https://reductress.com/post/gladiator-woman-gave-a-thumbs-down-in-the-group-chat/

This Woman Gave Up Alcohol for 30 Days and Still Managed to Crash Her Car: https://reductress.com/post/this-woman-gave-up-alcohol-for-30-days-and-still-managed-to-crash-her-car/

‘It’s a Numbers Game,’ Woman Reminds Herself After Thousandth Consecutive Failure: https://reductress.com/post/its-a-numbers-game-woman-reminds-herself-after-thousandth-consecutive-failure/

How to Buy a Pair of Pants Without Picturing Them Washing Up on the Shores of Ghana: https://reductress.com/post/how-to-buy-a-pair-of-pants-without-picturing-them-washing-up-on-the-shores-of-ghana/

Top Chef? This Chef Only Serves Bottoms: https://reductress.com/post/top-chef-this-chef-only-serves-bottoms/

Iconic! Family-Owned Business Owned by the Worst Family You’ve Ever Met: https://reductress.com/post/iconic-family-owned-business-owned-by-the-worst-family-youve-ever-met/

Woman So Absorbed in Phone She Forgets to Check Phone: https://reductress.com/post/woman-so-absorbed-in-phone-she-forgets-to-check-phone/

Phishing? This Email Is Asking if You Think It’s Ugly: https://reductress.com/post/phishing-this-email-is-asking-if-you-think-its-ugly/

Antidepressant Has Work Cut Out for It: https://reductress.com/post/antidepressant-has-work-cut-out-for-it/

Cool! Man Trying to Hit on You Has the Opposite of a Way With Words: https://reductress.com/post/cool-man-trying-to-hit-on-you-has-the-opposite-of-a-way-with-words/

The Body Keeps The Score? This Woman Counts On Her Fingers: https://reductress.com/post/the-body-keeps-the-score-this-woman-counts-on-her-fingers/

‘Damn,’ Says Man Plumbing the Depths of His Empathy: https://reductress.com/post/damn-says-man-plumbing-the-depths-of-his-empathy/

DUDE CORNER: Why I Reserve My Keen Sense of Nuance for Acts of Unthinkable Evil: https://reductress.com/post/dude-corner-why-i-reserve-my-keen-sense-of-nuance-for-acts-of-unthinkable-evil/

Hold Your Horses? These Horses Are Touch Starved: https://reductress.com/post/hold-your-horses-these-horses-are-touch-starved/

Woman Crammed for the Dentist by Staying Up All Night Flossing: https://reductress.com/post/woman-crammed-for-the-dentist-by-staying-up-all-night-flossing/

Wow! This Woman’s Favorite Snack is Carcinogens: https://reductress.com/post/wow-this-womans-favorite-snack-is-carcinogens/

Phew! Fur Coat Is From The ‘50s So the Foxes Probably Had Problematic Views: https://reductress.com/post/phew-fur-coat-is-from-the-50s-so-the-foxes-probably-had-problematic-views/

High Risk, High Reward? Woman Laying Down: https://reductress.com/post/high-risk-high-reward-woman-laying-down/

Aw! Friends You Introduced Having Their First Independent Fight: https://reductress.com/post/aw-friends-you-introduced-having-their-first-independent-fight/

Generous Benefactor Leaves Half-Used Bottle of Olive Oil at Airbnb: https://reductress.com/post/generous-benefactor-leaves-half-used-bottle-of-olive-oil-at-airbnb/

Pubes Treated to Rare Blowdry: https://reductress.com/post/pubes-treated-to-rare-blowdry/

Sad! Hobby Horse With Broken Stick to Be Euthanized: https://reductress.com/post/sad-hobby-horse-with-broken-stick-to-be-euthanized/

Woman Has to Wear a Night Guard Because She Boxes in Her Sleep: https://reductress.com/post/woman-has-to-wear-a-night-guard-because-she-boxes-in-her-sleep/

Trump Authorizes Military Action in IKEA: https://reductress.com/post/trump-authorizes-military-action-in-ikea/

Written by a Woman? This Man Left: https://reductress.com/post/written-by-a-woman-this-man-left/

Woman’s Dream to Be Peripheral Member of Toxic Celebrity Mom Group: https://reductress.com/post/womans-dream-to-be-peripheral-member-of-toxic-celebrity-mom-group/

Laxative No Match for Everything Else in There: https://reductress.com/post/laxative-no-match-for-everything-else-in-there/

How to Be Yourself Except When Everyone Is Making Fun of the Thing You Like: https://reductress.com/post/how-to-be-yourself-except-when-everyone-is-making-fun-of-the-thing-you-like/

Wow! Woman Promoted at Work for Being Good at French-Braiding Hair: https://reductress.com/post/wow-woman-promoted-at-work-for-being-good-at-french-braiding-hair/

Angel Numbers? This Woman Needs to Call 911: https://reductress.com/post/angel-numbers-this-woman-needs-to-call-911/

Woman Most Comfortable When Apologizing: https://reductress.com/post/woman-most-comfortable-when-apologizing/

It’s Too Cold to Exercise in Winter,’ Says Woman Who Will Be Too Hot to Exercise in Summer: https://reductress.com/post/its-too-cold-to-exercise-in-winter-says-woman-who-will-be-too-hot-to-exercise-in-summer/

REPORT: Zit Lurking: https://reductress.com/post/report-zit-lurking/