My kid just pretended to be a delivery person, handed me this and said, "Congratulations! You got the Golden Snake Award for seeing so many scary movies without your children." I'm so proud he recognizes my hard work! 😂

Is This Thing On?: a thoughtful film about marriage and happiness. You can joke that men would rather do stand-up than go to therapy. But how dare they make Laura Dern share a scene with Peyton Manning! That was disrespectful to our queen. (And I'm from Indy, Manning is a saint here, but hell no!)

I always forget that Tuesday is when the grannies descend on my local movie theater like a slow, kind plague. But they're all seeing Marty Supreme today. I'm seeing Is This Thing On? 😎

If you see this, post a vampire that isn't Dracula.

Husband- Wait, is that one Peter Cushing? Me- Of course it is, can't yo- OMG the skull is FLOATING!!! Loooooook! It's got STRIIIIINGS!!! #Svengoolie #TheSkull

Me- Omg Peter Cushing just STAB her already! Husband- Why was that pentagram drawn so off center?! #Svengoolie #TheSkull

About Girl Scouts: Husband- Maybe she aged out? Me- No! It's called quitting. And I get it, the normies quit by highschool. 3/4 of my highschool troop are now labeled as some form of gay or autistic. That's why we got shit done and were so fun!

Girl Scout cookie season: Me- Oooh! Gotta get with my dealer! Husband- You mean the 6th grader down the street? Me- She got them primo Thin Mints.

Pro tip: After responding to a nice, sincere message from a friend's mom, immediately and carefully send unhinged shit to whoever was at the top of that app's list. Put them back where they should be, so you don't accidentally send some weird shit to your friend's mom... again.

My husband watched One Battle After Another on a goddamn airplane today and I have waited MONTHS to rewatch it with him to see his reactions.

Well, I'm back in my anxiety induced puzzle era.

Hmmm, should I sneak in a burrito or a big ol' sandwich into the movie theater today? Maybe breadsticks? Decisions, decisions.

Ah, my kids and husband are out of the house for the first time in weeks. I can do whatever I want! --2 hours later-- *Singing power ballads to my cup noodles* ....I need people around or I get weird.

If you made one of those serious or healthy resolutions those don't start until tomorrow. Tonight we still get chaos, booze and snacks.

Went out last night and a girl told me I was a great dancer so I'm just gonna ride that high for the rest of the year.

Just watched Together and it is some of the freakiest body horror I've ever seen and I LOVE it! Great nightmare fuel.

Me- We should eat healthier. My husband- Let's get some hot chicken!!! Our toilet- No! Dear God! Eat a salad!

20 years ago today I lost my aunt and uncle, two of the most generous and pure hearted people ever. Realized I still have the guitar pick I kept in my hand during their funeral. Today isn't easy.

What does it mean when you start off the new year with an empty fortune cookie?

So I got knocked out of the New Year's Eve Mario Kart tournament in the first round, as is tradition.

According to Letterboxd I only watched 104 new movies this year? But that doesn't count most of what I watched for the film fest. And I was pretty busy with life, writing and having adventures. Not a bad 2025.

2025 was the year of trying new things, taking risks and giving zero fucks. It was amazing! I found community and helped friends turn their scripts into films. I partied like I wished I had in my 20s! And along the way I made so many amazing new friends. Gonna keep playing with fire in 2026. 😎

Everyone's grandma is packed into this theater seeing Song Sung Blue. I had to help the lady next to me figure out the buttons on the chair.

Watching my husband watch the last half hour of Bugonia makes me appreciate it even more.

Listen, I could never take Avatar seriously simply because they use the Papyrus font.

Today's unsung hero: the kid sweeping up popcorn who had to wake up a dude who fell asleep during Avatar, all curled up in his hoodie and 3D glasses.

Avatar: Fire and Ash in 3D Dolby with my 11 year old. The first thing he said when it ended was, "Wow. That was like a 3 hour video game cut scene." Would it have looked better in another format?

My kid got one of those cards that plays music. Never Gonna Give You Up. Only it never stops until the battery dies! Ultimate Rick Roll! 😂

It's so stinkin' cute having a kid who so genuinely believes in Santa.

Family movie day- SpongeBob: Search for Squarepants! So silly and fun. Surprisingly low on toilet humor, high on the piratitude and silly sea adventures. Mark Hamill is hilarious in front of a green screen.

Characters in Bath And Body Works, 1 week to Xmas: Older man walks straight to a worker, only says, “Strawberry snowflake!” Granny arguing over coupons. Man in reflective yellow and muddy pants, smelling everything. Me, overstimulated and trying to avoid crashing out in the car later.

So I went to see Ella McCay yesterday and it sucked. Later a friend highly recommended Dust Bunny. Shoulda seen that instead.

My kid is watching some Sesame Street Christmas thing and I hear them singing, "Failure is awesome!" I walk by with my cup of coffee, bopping to the music, "They're singing my theme song."

🎶🌲🎁⛄ It's the most wonderful time of the year!🌲🎁⛄🎶 Me- It's dark and cold and we're socially obligated to buy gifts to feed the capitalist machine. Whatevs, I'll make cookies.

Can't tell if some guy in the theater had the sniffles or if he cried throughout the last half hour of Hamnet too. Such a great film.

Kid playing restaurant: 7- Here is your pizza. Let me put the toppings back on. Me- You know it’s weird when the server touches your food like this, right? 7- Yes. Now I have to watch you eat it. Me- What kind of restaurant is this? 7- Mexican.

The song I blast through my headphones when they're still connected to my phone and I've lost them somewhere in the dark house.

Sunday evening joyful noise: 11 plays his trumpet. I strum my guitar. 7 plays jams on the keyboard (has no idea how to play). All in different rooms at the same time.

Me- Guess what! Dick Van Dyke is 100 today! Husband- Is he gonna do another rockin new years eve? Me- That's Dick Clark and he's dead. Hubs- ...can't keep all these old Dicks straight.

When your kid is finally big enough to shovel the snow for you.

Back at my happy place, the movie theater. Today's movie, Eternity.

7 is watching Pixels. (We know it sucks, but 7 likes all the video games characters.) 11 aks, "Why is Lord Farquaad in this movie?" I look to see what he's talking about and say, "Boy, in this house we respect Peter Dinklage, even when he's wearing a mullet."

Husband back from a work trip- So I had some 30 year old from Barcelona schooling me on new music. Me- That'a not surprising. You haven't listened to new music since 2007. H- Sure I have. Me- Not anything outside of our kids favorite movies.

Listening to my kid play is the best. He's running around his room saying in different little voices, "I'm dead! Bleh! *Gurgle* No! We have another fight scene to beat the bad guy then you can die. Oh, right. Avengers! Let's go! *Zoomies! And humming the epic soundtrack in his head.*"

Movie you've seen more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars or Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar

Some families drink hot chocolate on the Polar Express or wear matching PJs to visit Santa. We go see Krampus.

Husband finally watched Materialists on a plane: Him- Eh, it was fine. Me- Did it make you angry? H- I see what made you angry. Me- Yeah! When she touches his scars in his sleep! H- What?! But the assault?! Me- That was also an assault! 😭

Teagan and His Bros releases next week! Here’s a video explaining everything we have going on around its release. If you’re in Austin, come out and meet Teagan! If not, get ready for the show on Laugh After Dark TV on December 9th! #Filmsky

We got 3 weeks til Christmas! Git yo shit together!!!

Going to the dentist is a treat for my kid. He got to show off his new smile, wear cool sunglasses and watch his favorite movie (Home Alone) while his class did math.