We could probably get Trump to admit he blew Clinton if we tell him we heard it was mid. “Fake news. Everybody knows it was top ten, maybe the best ever. He was always asking for it again, kept calling me for weeks, for months.”

Talking about #christians like how people talk about #zohranmamdani

Serious question: what kind of person says “Rue the day”?

Seems sus

Like Wikipedia but full of racist conspiracy theories!

Scream now. You may not always be able to. #trump

#RFK is obsessed

Not even a critical injury can stop my flow #legend

#nobelprize #trump

Trump and Vance are having a good time, so why can’t we? #shutdown

This coulda been an email #trump

How can you help? Do the work.

I think this lady has three kids

Seems like a lot of people got a text from Charlie Kirk the day before he died 🤔

Would you date a democrat?

Which party is for the billionaires and which is for the rest of us?

Best of Wives, Best of Women #hamilton

Wow! Listen to this list of acts of political violence. It’s not even complete, but sobering AF. Now, Charlie Kirk was shot and killed in front of a crowd, and the video is all over social media. This needs to stop.

Cookin w Podcasts Ep 1: The Fella w the Island

Did Taylor Swift automatically become a bad person when she got a billion dollars?

Is he ☠️?? Seems sus.

Democrats are the new Cassandra

Social media is a propaganda and misinformation machine

Seems sus

“What’s America like these days?” “A friend of mine who was born here got kidnapped in front of me by a group of masked men. I have no idea if they were from the government or not. Could have been ICE, could have been human traffickers, and I’m honestly not sure which option is better.”

Russia just bombed a Boeing facility in Ukraine but also it might have just done that by itself. Bombing a Boeing facility is like setting a CyberTruck on fire: You could have just waited.

My wife went to one protest and now she’s belting “Do You Hear the People Sing” in the shower.

Peaceful protests in Los Angeles?

Blaming protestors for violence when it was Trump who ordered ICE to kidnap innocent people is giving “Look What You Made Me Do.”

It'd be sad if the military was too busy shooting unarmed protestors in Los Angeles to march in Trump's stupid birthday parade in DC.

Trump’s HHS is ending the team that protects kids from lead exposure. Lead, which makes people dumber and more violent. “I drank lead as a kid and I came out fine!” said January 6th.

Pete Hegseth has ordered the navy to rename one of their battleships from Harvey Milk to Harvey Wallbanger.

Steel tariffs are doubling today, but could be reversed as early as next TACO Tuesday

ELON: If I was constantly high off my mind on ketamine, could I do…THIS? (starts DJ-ing very badly)

Trump is pulling the plug on the bird flu vaccine and also America, which has been on life support since 2016.

Elon Musk is such a failure he can’t even do drugs right. What fucking dork takes a bunch of mushrooms and is like “We should starve kids.”?

Apparently RFK used AI to make his MAHA report. I don’t think anti vaxers should be allowed to use AI cuz they definitely don’t know what’s in it.

PRE ELECTION TRUMP “I’m gonna stop all the wars on day one! Ukraine? I can do things to stop that war that nobody else can do! I’m the only one who can do it!” POST ELECTION TRUMP “Hey, Putin. Hey. Come on, man. Cut it out.”

A high school kid who wasn’t allowed to wear a shirt that said “There are only two genders” tried to take his case to the Supreme Court, but they rejected it. NBD though, he’s used to rejection at this point.

We are less safe. We are spending more and getting fewer government services. All while the top 1% are eating lobster and caviar three meals a day while flying their private jets to one of their ten mega mansions.

We are losing billions in tourism dollars thanks to Trump. I get it. You book a flight to America these days, you could have a decades long layover in El Salvador.

In case you missed Marco Rubio’s hearing yesterday, here’s a summary: SENATOR: Trump is accepting massive amounts of money from foreign nationals which obviously threatens our national security. What are doing about it? RUBIO: It’s my first day.

How has the Trump family gotten $3 billion richer since Inauguration Day? A) They’re massively corrupt & robbing us blind B) They suddenly got good at business after decades of going bankrupt, cheating biz partners, stiffing workers, tax fraud, it’s A it’s obviously A there’s no way it’s not A.

Imagine you just got your dream job and it’s your first day. As you’re greeting everyone in the office, you scan the crowd and happen to see the guy who may have killed your predecessor. He’s waiting to shake your hand. Anyway, Pope Leo snubbed JD Vance at his inaugural mass and I get it.

High schools in OK are planning to teach kids that the 2020 election was stolen. I really wanna joke that they’ll also teach that freeing the slaves was DEI but fr they probably have that next on their list.

Trump is upset that Business Insider compared Don Jr to Hunter Biden, which is obviously a ridiculous comparison. Hunter Biden’s dad loves him.

Trump is ending a rural broadband program because he says it’s racist, even though the only way that giving farmers the internet is racist is if they go online and send money to the GOP.

Apparently Stephen Miller is running the Department of Justice from inside the White House. I’m sure all the right wing talking heads who accused Biden of weaponizing the DOJ will be up in arms about this, yeah?

You guys know that poem that’s like “First they came for the (insert group) but I wasn’t in that group so I said nothing”? I’m just curious cuz it seems like 77 million of yall never read it.