Enjoy your day off girl!! 🥰🙌🏽 — Who said thaaat 👀👀

One repost & I’ll call out from work - RIGHT NOW

Ayo what THE ACTUALL FUUUCKK are these gargoyles yapping aboouutt?? Be so fucking foreal rn! 🤬

I took a long scroll on the Tea app & these ladies are lightin these mfs up on there. I ain’t ever laugh so much at other ppl’s business 😂😂😂

Cowboy Bebop deserves the slot One Piece is in...

Yess, & my problem is I hate small talk! Yea, favorite color, yadda yadda - now tell me ALL the deets on your favorite conspiracy theory! 😁🥰

I haven’t even started getting ready for work yet & I already wanna go hooommee. 😫 Why capitalism !!!

Someone once told me I brush my teeth like they owe me money… the dick was weak, but the nigga had jokes 😂🤗😂💀

Confession: my favorite thing to do when I’m ⬆️ 🍃💨 is to tell myself how sexy I am. I would absolutely fuck mee 🤤❤️‍🔥💋

Oh I’m feral rn, but I just had to cancel my dick appointment bc I FUCKED MY LEG UP in the gym this week… What is the universe trying to tell me Lord!!

“You muzzled APPA!?”

Slipping down into a three as we speak 🫠

Ayoo finally found Derrick! 😭😭😭

That masterpiece had 19 year old me tryna stick it out with a mf AS IF we had two kids, 10 years deep in a 35 year mortgage plan. Love this album down, but Giselle had me down bad in some struggle love, I had to WAKE UPP 😂😂😂

This man tryna get me over to crack and I’m ABSOLUTELY down💋… But…the problem is… bitch, I’M DOWN!!!🤕🩼😮‍💨 why meeee

It never has been. My family moved to Los Angeles in 1924. When the KKK ran the show. When Blacks and Latinos were banned from elected office. Not much has changed.

Pre-pandemic, and it was my last bc I almost got snatched out the parking lot and *likely* sold into something. ….THEN the spot was shut down a week later… for suspected sellings into something🚦🚦🚦🫢 I had to give my Guardian Angels a break after that & stopped clubbingg 😮‍💨

Tell me why I just injured my knee… while doing mobility exercises. 🤬🤬🤬

White people hate when you remind them of chattel slavery... Hell the world hates it. Why? Everyone around the globe even back to natives of america HAD A HAND IN IT I say remind them Make them remember what happened forever and always

I love when ppl tell me I have good (kind and/or gentle) energy. Bc THE WORK it took for me to get here!?? 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨❤️‍🔥🙌🏽

Absolutely, bc when I get my coochie waxed, I suddenly wanna show her the world! We going everywhere, girl! 🚗💨

Ya’ll, I found it and I am… envious 😝

yes i saw the red flag but i also saw the pole it was attached to

Is it bad I read this like Macka B? 🫢 Apologies! ✋🏽😳🤚🏽

I… I Heard talks of a … Braided Bush? on the skyline…? Where might I find proof such a thing exists… asking for… a friend (*me) 👀

Thats what I’m talkin bout! 🙌🏽🥰

HOLLUP! How the government shut down and we STILL GOTTA GO TO WORK?!! It shut down on the 1st and RENT WAS STILL DUEE??

Why is it SO HARD to get out the car, when you get home after work 🥲😮‍💨

Never play with quiet mfs. We always anticipate ten steps ahead. #CatchUp

I reach out telepathically every quarter, just to let him know he’s still a bitch! 🖕🏽😀🖕🏽 And I KNOW he gets the message each time 😂👏🏽

More please 🤤❤️‍🔥

This man saying all the right things… QUICK ! Someone heat a Honey Bun in the microwave- 1:30- & toss it on my back🤬… Yea yeaa… that should snap me out of this 🥺

The Ocean!! One day I was sitting on the Beach during a rainstorm and far off in the distance, I SWEAR I SAW CTHULHU rise from the depths… Sorry guys I have Thalassophobia✋🏽🥺🤚🏽 we just don’t know whats down there 😮‍💨

“Give it away” bc that Music Video was captivating to 8 year old me 😭

“Randomly” matching speeds across all lanes when they see me flying down the road… Are YOU🫵🏽 Law enforcement? Are YOU 🫵🏽 finna pull me over and write me a ticket? No? Then get TF out the way, Martha! 🤬 🏎️💨🚓🚓🚓

I’m not big on going for runs, but a LARGE ASS Palmetto bug just flew at me & I PROMISE the spirit of Flo Jo took me around my whole block expeditiously! 🥲

Ykw…

I put my homegirl to listen to Cardi B’s new album while we were at the gym, and 30 minutes later I peeped she switched over to “23”…by Miley Cyrus… 😧 she must got a Picasso in her house, huh?

How nice! 😀 No- no, really I’m just so happy for you! 🥲😭🤧

I once had a man at work compare my tits to the size of Cornish Hens. He even tried to make it my nickname… And had the nerve to get mad when HR starting ringing his line 👀 🤷🏽‍♀️

Ya’ll, I’m SICK of these Rappers wanting to sue over a diss track. GET IN THE BOOOOTH! Do you Rap or NOT?!!

….Am I in danger friend? 🥺😭

I just started a new job this week, and I think…. I think their internet has blocked access to Indeed…

After saying the Removal Prayer last night, today my Mom texted me and told me she’s not coming back from her visit to her sisters…. She decided to simply stay there… States away…🥴

But but, I like to make them blush! ☺️

I was a Sidekick Queen! I remember setting my phone to play “Freaky Girl” by Gucci Mane every time I flicked the screen open (I was 12). Ahhh brighter days ☺️😌

I think I actually met the male version of myself… I kinda wanna kill him, kinda wanna fuck him… what to do, what to do 🤔

I am REALLY fighting the need for something sweet rn! But I KNOW theres ice cream in the freezer 😫😮‍💨

I follow enough Male Midnight Ballerinas to know them mfs NEVER get slut shamed the way women do, WHEN will there be TRUE equality!?? SOMEBODY BOO THEM MFS 🍅🍅🍅