I don’t even know how to search for or describe this - do these little foot cuts in the bottom of a planter have a name? Not the drainage holes but the… reservoirs? Drainage tunnels? Evaporation channels? What are these things??

This is who runs this account, fabulously

My brother is kickin around Irish names for the baby like Patrick and Declan and Farrell (family name) and jokingly I suggested spelling it Feral Hayden but frankly… it’s no longer a joke, Feral Hayden would go so fucking hard

My mom finally sent my brother who couldn’t make it to Christmas his presents (lol) so we did Christmas 2 and FINALLY I got the reception I deserved for gifting this black and white cookie teether for the baby, went over like gangbusters, folks

James as The Embodiment of Social Media: sitting alone just waiting for some asshole to come out of the bushes to get mad at

I have such an intense urge to make ceramic aquarium decorations and little furniture for hamsters and stuff but I know that path leads to me buying a fish and/or a hamster. And YET… it calls to me

You can test new tech ideas using the Seinfeld Test Would the product eliminate the plot of an episode? (Google maps, cell phones, paypal, battery packs) Good tech. Would the product inspire new Seinfeld plots? (NFTs, AI chatbots, crypto currency, blindboxes, metaverse land sales) Bad tech.

I regret to inform you: I’m playing rock band drunk

Oh noooooo I wanted to leave this thing 2 hours ago but I agreed to share a Lyft with this gal who’s still going and I’m TRAPPED

I don’t think this stuff works as buried “Friday news dumps” anymore if everyone has gotten wise to it and is particularly on edge for news on Fridays because of it, lol

made it to my lil guys 🥹🥹

I have gasped out loud like 10 times in the last 5 minutes over completely unrelated news events, what the fuck is happening - robin leach murder accusation on top of EVERYTHING ELSE 🫠🫠🫠

James is just following my cleaning guy around as he cleans, immediately rubbing herself all over everything he wipes and mops and what is the dang POINT OF THIS, JAMES

giving my old laptop to my cleaning guy but now I’m kinda panicking at the factory reset moment - all my documents are allegedly saved in the cloud via OneDrive and I already transferred software to my new laptop. I mean… that’s it, right? Am I missing something, I’m so scared, lol

It’s really difficult & disorienting but the feds hit LA extremely hard today. There were kidnappings all over & reported cluster raids in Chinatown, East LA, Ktown. This list shows to 1130 AM but they haven’t stopped all day Just because the media attention stopped doesn’t mean the abductions have

lol, look at this tiny angel I forgot on a shelf at Halloween

going to my fifth dentist appointment of the month 😩😩 I should be allowed to take out loans against the value of my goddamn mouth

I cut my hair pretty short yesterday to the point that my hair stylist called it “a cunty little bob” - I’ve made it

oooooh nelly, forgot that the last season of the OG RHONY cast was when bravo was trying to respond to Black Lives Matter by throwing a Black woman into the cast of maga assholes and it is sooooo uncomfortable, she’s fighting for her life and they should have canceled this show 3 years earlier

i feel like this instagram reel gets truer every day

it’s very clearly some sort of regression into childhood but mental health aside, I can’t stop playing Oregon Trail, just chillin out, lettin my guys get bit by snakes all the time, shooting some deer, it’s great

the hair salon playlist today is so finely honed to my taste that I’m genuinely worried this is advanced targeted marketing because my taste sucks

honestly such a great call by my ass to walk to the hair salon because the traffic is aaaaaaaabsolutely fucked out there, dang

True Life: A Little High At The Hair Salon And Immediately Said “Bangs” (lol, don’t worry, we’re not doing that)

Witnessed a food delivery robot getting dropped off on the sidewalk by some guys like mom dropping it off for its first day of work, it was so dorky and I laughed a lot We got robot drivers driving humans and human drivers driving robots, everything is bananas

lol

Left the dentist with a finished tooth implant for a tooth I’ve never had before because it’s a molar that never grew in and it feels nuts, I have too many teeth actually

True Life: Accidentally A Little Too High At The Dentist

it’d be funny if there’s a bunch of slacker lawyers out there who all specialized in 10th amendment law because they assumed it would never come up and they could just coast and now all the sudden it’s civil war time and their dusty ol rotary phones are ringing off the hook

what do we think, folks - these 2 sets of bowls are identical except one has a big ol orange spot where some kiln stuff happened. Do these feel different enough to warrant a variation so a customer can choose if they want the orange spot? I’m inclined to say yeah, I’d wanna secure the orange spot

tim robinson is goated highkey

I think you both would and wouldn’t believe how often I eat hot pretzels for dinner

here is roof cat stealing meoward’s identity for your afternoon pleasure

put out some old cashews for the crows and they cleared them out in roughly 23 seconds - the crows have spoken, the cashew is the most ergonomically shaped nut for carrying a metric ton away in your beak

my insurance will no longer cover the medication I take, so they switched me to a generic, which - fine, I accept. BUT I was paying a $5 co-pay for the brand name because the pharma company had co-pay assistance and the generic doesn’t so now it’s a $75 co-pay and that is suuuuuuuch bullshit

you know, you spend all this time setting up your lil Etsy listings and taking all the pictures of your lil jar and making lil graphics and then someone just… buys the jar? After all the work on the listing?? How dare you, sir

we use the term "dumpster fire" as a negative but it's very considerate to set a fire in a strong metal container with a lid

I’m not paying fucking taxes, I can tell you that much

Genuinely we need to live as long as we can, we need to stay alive as long as possible, I will not leave this earth until I see justice

fuck this country where you wake up and the first thing you see are multiple scrolling pages of skeets saying to turn off autoplay on videos and your heart sinks

This is the motivational quote I keep on my fridge

I’m giving my parents my old switch, and I will carry the guilt for life if this gets out of hand and my dad purchases a gaming chair by Q3 of this year

had dinner with one of my college roommates and his family the other day and witnessed, finally, a good reason to have kids: they didn’t finish the bottle of wine they ordered so they hid it in their diaper bag to bring back to the hotel and finish later, lol

I think about this a lot in terms of everybody saying “oh they won’t really crash the economy” - why not? Rich people can weather it and profit from it by buying up the foreclosed houses and stuff to be richer when things get righted. I feel like they’ll very much crash it on purpose ~for a time~

Am I crazy that a little jug for a coffee cup is called a creamer? What do you call this lil jug & cup set? One of the few exceptions to my purging of old things because I made it 4 years ago but it’s the best pouring thing I’ve made to date still, lol

what I’ve gathered today is trump does not have the “Greenland is covered in ice, and Iceland is very nice” part of Mighty Ducks 2 ingrained in his brain, which is not surprising but is insanely disqualifying as a human being

Traffic is ruff today

sorry to this guy from high school that LinkedIn decided I needed to see - you have the actual dumbest job I have seen with my own eyes

It also looks like Mrs. Diamond is wearing a bullet proof vest for protection, unaware she’s actually served herself the bullet: a delicious hot fudge sundae