Proposal of non-neologisms for word of the year: Ingratiate Complicit Extrajudicial

You know whatever is in the Epstein files must be horrific if they're willing to openly murder people to distract us.

I once won pub trivia because I knew how many people are mentioned in the 'rap' part of Madonna's Vogue. So I've got that going for me.

If you have the capacity to look in a mirror when your biases are removed from the reflection, chatgpt is the perfect therapist. Look at how ridiculous you are. Look at how inconsistent you are.

I told chatgpt to just respond with "what the actual fuck" to everything I say because it's appropriate 99% of the time. It obliged. This is great service.

Je ne veux pas travailler... Je veux seulement oublier. Et puis, je fume.

Remember when the phone ringing or the door bell dinging wasn't the most awful thing ever? Time to acknowledge we don't want other people in our lives.

My cat is making dagger-biscuits on my neck. It hurts, but I love him, so here we are.

If you don't know about squeaky cheese from Quebec, you're missing out.

It has been at least 90f since like March. I'm sick of it! Oh how I long for the "cold" days of February of 40f. Fucking Texas.

It is someone's job to paint that asshole's face with Cheeto dust every day. I want to hear from them.

My son found my old Gameboy Pocket at my childhood home (where my dad still lives). Now I'm on Amazon, and telling myself NOT to buy a refurbished N64. I want it so bad! I miss snowboard kids!

Céline Dion is my favorite person that I have never met. 10/10. Fantastic.

The greatest thing since sliced bread is "Skip Intro" on streaming services. We should update the saying.

Me ::: vacuums the house:::: Cat: Thank you for cleaning my barf surface. I will barf again now.

I want to buy my son skateboard shoes so we can be cool wearing them together, but I don't know if Gen Alpha kids call each other 'poser'

I ate flamin' hot Cheetos for dinner, so don't take anything I say too seriously

I'm starting to feel like maybe non-earthlings are actually running the world. Because I cannot fathom actual human beings behaving the way our leaders are behaving. It blows my mind. I have never felt so absolutely stunned by human behavior. How are we the same? We have nothing in common but thumbs

I love when dogs do tippy-tappies

We all know he's on the list. What now? Would anything actually happen if the documents were released?

My cat has been laying somewhat near me for the past hour. He's been purring loudly the whole time. This is wonderful.

Gardein's 'be'f crumbles' is remarkably inferior to Impossible's "ground beef". Taco Tuesday is ruined. Ruined!

Please be advised: green is whorish.

When it comes to data wrangling in R, I'm a fricken cowboy, baybay! When it comes to formatting tables with latex...well...I swear a lot at chatgpt for not helping me adequately.

A cat purring in your vicinity is an indicator that your life is going ok, perhaps better than ok.

I often remind my kitties, more kisses less hisses, and that if they want to play, put the claws away. Cats don't respond positively to rhyme, but that won't stop me.

Why wasn't the Access Hollywood audio enough to convince people he's a sexual predator?

In 1999 I watched live as Tony Hawk tried and tried and finally landed a 900. This morning I saw a video of a 10yr old do 3 in a row. wtf are we feeding children these days?

Do people actually leave their houses on the weekends? Are you not in need of a 48-hour solitary recharge after being kind of near other people at work all week?

I like when non-human animals are friends with non-human animals. I like the reminder that they don't need us to experience the greatest feelings possible. They're good.

I did not know wombats were that big

Facebook knows I've been playing Tony Hawk on my switch 2

New found way to relax: videos of horses who are friends with dogs

Do not look away. The truth will be absolutely, unimaginably horrible. But we must know what all of them are hiding.

"What is a two-way petting zoo?" You pet the animals, they pet you back.

Our gov't officials need to watch Parks & Rec. Leslie Knope makes it crystal clear: the point of government is to provide services to people. It's not a fucking business. They collect money from everyone to provide services to everyone that would otherwise only be accessible to the few at the top.

Y2K made people go crazy, but nothing bad happened. 25 years later, a huge portion of our gov't is doing nothing (other than making things worse), and shit is about to go down/ already going down. Our collective awareness of actual threats to our existence is pretty embarrassing and horrifying.

It's Caturday! Show your tummy!

It infuriates me that the orange shit stain's stupid fucking hat is embroidered with "45-47", implying he was 46 as well.

Who is picking the grass-type starter Pokemon? Why would you do that? Water-type, bay-bay!

If you put nuts in brownies, you need to re-evaluate your life. There's no reason for such a terrible choice.

My job deals with data at a med school. I'm pretty alarmed at how frequently and consistently doctors misspell their own names, email addresses, and department names. I can only hope they're more careful with prescriptions. 😐

In the future, people will discuss time traveling back to our timeline to stop it. Unless, of course, we stop this insanity ourselves. America is not ok. None of this is acceptable.

Janeway wishes you a happy Caturday!

There is very little to be proud of this July 4th. Our government is cruel and evil. Our people are suffering for no reason other than the ultra-rich want to be ultra-richer. I have never been so embarrassed of my country. But I will fight to change this.

It's only a matter of time before they suggest we eat cake.

How do these people sleep at night? I am horrified that there are so many people in power who have no conscience at all. We are beyond fucked.

I prefer my ICE crushed

Everyone says their dog or cat is the best dog/cat ever. I ran the numbers and double checked my data and concluded: they're all correct. They're all the best! Carry on.

Where are those 2A people hell-bent on overthrowing a tyrannical government?