Never not proud of my kind of town #TrumpSucks #FuckICE #Chicago

James Van Der Beek and Bud Cort die on tge same day Mitch McConnell gets discharged from the hospital!? WTF!!!

I didn't know I could hate crypto more. Thanks, for proving me wrong, @coinbase-support.bsky.social #superbowl

kind of funny that an olympian said they are here to represent "compassion, respect, and love for others" and some people automatically knew that was a statement against them

After halftime, don't forget to hop online and look for all the hot takes of people who spent months loudly proclaiming that they would not watch Bad Bunny describe every part of the show that fake outraged them in full detail #SuperBowl

We didn't get to see it on NBC. Thank you, CBC!

the olympics is first and foremost a winter coat fashion show

Remember how Trump dodged the draft five times because he had an ouchie in his foot?

Just sayin' we're owed one after they took Catherine O'Hara from us

Sorry, "Weapons." But those kids in Texas whaling on that MAGA dork was even better.

I got a full minute into that bland Noah Kahan song before I realized it wasn't a commercial for Mastercard. Then at the end, it turned out to be an ad for Mastercard. #Grammys

So, not only did "Melania" flop by coming in 3rd at the box office, it only made $7 million on a $40 million budget. Also, that $7 million is just a fraction of the $24 million Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" (budget: $6 million) made its opening weekend in 2004. I love this for all of them.

Kevin McCallister is now an orphan

EVERYONE: That "Melania" doc is gonna be the most unwatchable thing all month. DARREN ARONOFSKY: Hold my algorithm

To be fair to "Melania," the last time they made a movie about a sex worker who moved to New York, shacked up with a con man and ended up a MAGA idiot, it won Best Picture

Love that Bovino has lost to half of the NFC North

Wait, is Bovino being re-assigned? Or, did Kristi Noem shoot him and throw him in a gravel pit?

A Giant, Mr. Bader #MLB

Seattle, do the 2026 version of giving the ball to Marshawn Lynch on the 1-yard line in two weeks #protip

How could Greenlanders not be excited about joining the US now?

Every guy in Chicago right now:

Not every hero wears a cape. Some turn AI slop into real art.

I assume the season finale surprise reveal is that they were swingers and the baby is Charlie Kirk's #UshaVance

I know it's not cool to say I feel bad for Erika Kirk. But in the last 6 months, her husband got murdered and her rebound knocked up another woman.

It's nuts that Meta thought we'd want to interact with Mark Zuckerberg in two universes.

Non-Chicagoans, do you now understand how accurate this was? #Bears

The following conversation is going to start happening a lot: ICE AGENT: This tastes weird. What's in it? SERVER: Piss. The secret ingredient is piss.

Is it really too late for Christmas gifts?

We said you should go f--k yourselves, not each other

The last time a Ford plant produced anything this magnificent was the original Mustang

Turning Point USA still doesn't have a lineup for its Halftime show. Guessing the headliner's manager at Applebee's hasn't gotten around to the PTO request yet.

OK, so Cheese Grater Guy is kind of a cool story...if you weren't sitting in front of him.

"The Sh-tkickers and Bootlickers Tour" would've been a better name, just less marketable

Can't wait to see the Packers fans' excuses. Go Bears!

How the fuck did that asshole get a cheese and a grater inside Soldier Field? #Bears

Watching "Marty Supreme," which is technically part of the FGCU: Forrest Gump Cinematic Universe

I guess ICE hasn't heard that the Minneapolis police don't need any help murdering people

On the 5th anniversary of the January 6th insurrection, it's important to remember not to go to Tank Noodle unless domestic terrorism makes pho tastier for you. #Chicago

Congrats on to Ashli Babbitt on her FAFO Fifth!!!

"If the kids don't live long enough to get to school, that will lower the number of school shooting deaths." -RFK Jr. and the CDC

Congratulations to the San Francisco 49ers on their uniform sponsorship deal with Rolo

Note to Prime Minister Mark Carney of Canada: apparently you're allowed to remove and kidnap world leaders if they're chump authoritarians. Also, the United States has oil, more hockey teams and enough poutine ingredients to last 100 lifetimes. Mentioning all of this for no reason at all.

Gotta go to the Verizon store today to make sure my phone is working. Usually when a pedophile kidnaps someone, I get an Amber Alert.

Just saw a guy at Midway Airport wearing a snugly fitting XXXL Hulk Hogan tee with the words "Hulk Rules Forever" on it. Guess he doesn't read the Dead Racist Times.

Clearly they are not, Bluesky. Go Bears!

Imagine watching Sinatra, son of Dolly & Antonini born in Genoa & Sicily, respectively, and Martin, son of Gaetano & Angela, born in Montesilvano, Italy & Ohio respectively, (Angela to parents born in Monasterolo, Italy), and crusading against the value of children of immigrants to the U.S.

Fun Christmas fact: The directors of "A Christmas Story," "Black Christmas" and "Porky's" are the same person. Merry Christmas!

Don't forget to leave milk and cookies out tonight for Frank Costanza #Festivus

I assume we're only 3 months away from saying slavery wasn't so bad

That was the most Chicagoest thing that ever Chicagoed #Bears