part of me wants to try to talk to the little guys in my head but part of me thinks i’m making it all up and i’m actually just talking to myself

i have come to the conclusion that this voice feels invalidated and is trying to make up a reason i’m the way i am. it’s trying to find an explanation for why i’m struggling when in reality there isn’t one. i feel much calmer after figuring this out.

panicking in IOP over a stupid little voice in my head what is happening

for whatever reason, what that voice in my head said made me very distressed and now i’m anxious

one of the little voices in my head keeps implying something traumatic happened to me as a child and i don’t remember it. it makes me feel very guilty to even entertain the thought. i think this voice is just trying to make up a reason i’m like this?

read about the 3pst31n f1les and then dissociated for a couple hours, still trying to recover from that

woke up with a sore throat this morning so i guess i am sick, bf is sick too

i feel sick but i don’t have any physical symptoms besides feeling fuzzy and being slightly nauseous

i’m really scared my boyfriend is going to break up with me again, he’s been really distant all day

nevermind my mom said i don’t need another evaluation :(

i planned out the order of what i’m going to talk about. maybe it’s all just anxiety IDK

i’m going to go back to the psychologist because my heart and gut are telling me there’s something else going on with me

i got a lot of work done yesterday but of course i lost all motivation today :/

this is a sign that everything is going to be okay

i overate yesterday but it’s okay. i had avocado toast for breakfast this morning yum

i love my boyfriend more than anything and i know we’re going to get through this

i think my boyfriend has ocd, i want to help but i’m so fucking sick of him talking about my ex boyfriends’ d1cks ten times a day. i just don’t know what to do, he’s going to see a therapist but i can’t take this anymore.

my boyfriend just admitted he read through my ENTIRE text messages with my ex what the fuck

i’m terrified he’s going to break up with me again. i don’t know how to help him feel better, there’s nothing i can do .

this essay i have to write for british lit is stressing me out so much and i just physically can’t get myself to work on it

i’m officially out of bmi 20 yay!

2.6/8.5 down

he broke up with me because his obsession got so bad and i’m terrified he’s going to leave me again

i maintained all week :/

we got into an argument over this :/ he is convinced i’m lying to him and he made me doubt my memory so much that now i’m scared he’s not actually the biggest and i’ve been lying

my goal is to lose at least 8.5 pounds by my birthday.

my boyfriend has been obsessing over my s3xu4l history for our entire relationship and i just don’t know what to even do anymore. it makes me feel so guilty and disgusted by myself for my past.

i think my bf is mad at me and i’m so anxious and i can’t talk to him because he’s working with his dad right now

currently lying in bed at my bf’s parents house…feeling sad and bf is mad at me i think :(

i’ve been in bed all day and i feel awful and guilty

i’m really so worthless, i can’t do anything on my own and i should be ashamed of myself

i’m supposed to meet with my professor on campus but i just emailed to cancel because i’m feeling way to anxious to do it. i feel terrible.

i’m too depressed to do anything today. i went to class and iop but did no homework, i’m already falling behind my plan.

i just can’t get myself to start working on schoolwork and i don’t know what to do

i feel exhausted and i barely did anything today

i’m so anxious idk why!!!!!

she’s prettier and skinnier than me and i can’t get over it !!!

i was so nauseous on the car ride home from IOP and i was dripping sweat bc i have a phobia of vomiting 😭

while we were broken up, my boyfriend considered hooking up with this girl and he DIDNT but i feel sick thinking about it

i’m so anxious and i don’t even know why

i hate sunday nights. i miss my boyfriend and i have to worry about school, driving, and iop tomorrow..

me and my bf made sweet and sour tofu for dinner together ^_^

my bf made me pancakes while i did a little bit of work! i only did two easy assignments but i’m proud of myself for starting :3

i really need to get started on schoolwork but i can’t bring myself to sit down and do it

i do not understand why people judge others' bodies. bodies are one of the least controllable aspect of human life. they are vessels meant to carry you around. they cannot be pretty or ugly, too big or too small... they are made of bones and flesh, a meat armor, that's all there is to them. thats it

my roommate in residential used to have an e4t1ng d1s0rd3r and she said her lw and it was 1 lb less than my lw which of course made me feel invalid

i told my iop therapist about being an alien, having special powers, etc and i feel so embarrassed now why did i tell her everything??

i can’t get myself to do anything

first day of class was fine. i’m taking high school chem while my friends are taking college level chemistry i feel so behind :(

sorry for posting so much today! i am just so overwhelmed and anxious and i feel trapped by everything i have to do!