Porch buddy!

Got some Magic in the mail, sitting out full moon watchin' w/ a stray cat, talkin' to a possum in my yard, listening to a feminist horror podcast talk about Paranormal Activity before I turn on The Autopsy of Jane Doe w/ a cranberry blood orange candle lit. Just Walpurgin.' Halfway there, y'all.

What witchy movies are you planning to watch tonight for Walpurgisnacht?

I accidentally bite the inside of my cheek so often that it probably looks like the bad half of Two-Face in there. It's a curse to have both sharp teeth & fat cheeks. I'm bleeding & there's a loose flap of skin in there like the dangly bit of flesh on Jack's neck in An American Werewolf in London.

It's helpful, when I feel like I'm not doing enough, to feel like I've done something. And it's one way, in a world that so often feels out of sorts and out of my control, to feel like I can make some kind of order out of chaos.

One underrated aspect of a card game hobby, for me, is how sorting and organizing feels. I can't always do the kind of house/yard work that I need to, but my ability to fuss with cards is endless. So putting order to a bunch of new/jumbled/unsorted cards makes my brain feel the good feels.

Molting is so weird. "I grow, but my skeleton doesn't, so I'm just going to grow a bigger skeleton inside of my smaller skeleton, then take the small skeleton off and come out of it bigger in my bigger skeleton!" What kind of convoluted insectoid Tardis nonsense is that?! Bro, just be normal!

She didn't even ask how the blind woman knew she took them out. #TheLastDriveIn

Fuck. I have drank one of these things, that little bottle, during one of my Commander nights. That stuff is NASTY! #TheLastDriveIn

Ladies, if your new boyfriend just immediately doesn't want to keep any pictures of his dead ex-wife, that is kind of a red flag. #TheLastDriveIn

I can't remember if it was October '25 or '24 that I watched this one, but I liked it a lot. Good choice for tonight. #TheLastDriveIn

Okay, "Wiccapedia" was good. #TheLastDriveIn

And she didn't even need a hobbit to help her slay the Prick King of Angmar. #TheLastDriveIn

"You can't call it Witches' Night and then try to kill the witches." OMG, I have been saying this about witches' stairs forever. If supposedly witches can't walk up those steps, then they aren't the witches' stairs, they're non-witchy boring motherfucker stairs. #TheLastDriveIn

Who is going to make a gif using the "who is the girl with this hair" scene from Scott Pilgrim, but with the kid's drawing of Rawhead instead of Ramona's hair? #TheLastDriveIn

Kid if reading an issue of Secret Wars. Rawhead Rex will return in Avengers: Doomsday. #TheLastDriveIn

"It was 8 feet tall with burning red eyes." #TheLastDriveIn

This lady is AGGRESSIVELY horny all the time and I am here for it. Good for them! #TheLastDriveIn

There's an alternate universe out there in the multiverse where Frank Henenlotter made a version of Rawhead Rex with a story accurate creature. ...and, man, do I wish I lived there. #TheLastDriveIn

This priest and the priest from Nightbreed would be BFFs. #TheLastDriveIn

This pillar was the OG Bad Dragon. #TheLastDriveIn

I actually got to see this one in a theater once. A special treat. It was part of a 12 hour marathon. #TheLastDriveIn

Darcy won't be the only one fondling her broomstick later, if you know what I mean and I think you do. #TheLastDriveIn

Heading to the sabbath, like... #TheLastDriveIn #LuisRicardoFalero

Walpurgisnacht may not be until the 30th, but it's always witchy at the Drive-In. Let's go! #TheLastDriveIn

Happy THE FOG Day everyone! Last year, I celebrated its 45th anniversary & thought I’d share my piece again today on this, the 21st of April. from-the-desk-of-the-horror-chick.ghost.io/45-years-lat... I’d appreciate any shares and/or subs - thanks so much!

It's important to TRY to find some joy in these times. Well, it's April 20th, so you better grab your stomach pounder and Coke, motherfucker! "11:55, almost midnight. Enough time for one more story. One more story before 12:00, just to keep us warm. In five minutes, it will be the 21st of April."

I was out looking at flowers and caught Snowflake doing a mlem.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but chill tf out with the tape on the head of lettuce. I can't even get it out of the bag. I guarantee you, that lettuce is not trying to escape.

I am almost certain bigfoot does not hangout in the middle of urban Cleveland, even if there have been a rash if recent Ohio sightings. Anyway, it's lovely out, but I'm going to bed before I see The Flatwoods Monster in my back yard.

3 AM, 74 degrees, a little breezy. It's so nice out rn, sitting on my porch, that I don't want to go in, even though I'm starting to fall asleep. My eyes were drifting closed and I thought I saw a shadow moving thru the lot next door and I jolted awake thinking, "Bigfoot!"

I like that the two strays showing up on my porch, by total accident, ended up being Snowflake (named by the kids that used to live across the street) and Cinder (suggested by a friend for the cat living in the burned house). So I'm over here feeding George R. R. Martin's Strays of Ice and Fire.

I went out with food for Snowflake. Now Cinder's mad that I didn't let her out. She sulked in front of the door. Then she followed me into this room, but when I put my hand down for head boops, she turned away, walked by, and went to the couch. No boops. Suddenly there's a teenager in my house?!

Today is the 11th anniversary of The Rat Incident. It's been over a decade since it happened and I still have little moments of panic if I hear a weird noise while I'm pooping. Some things just never leave you.

Daffodils daffing everywhere. Tulip divas taking forever to open. Hyacinth smelling amazing. Smoky cat in full bloom.

A tornado destroys the DeFeo house and merges with the evil inside. Goofy? Yes. Cheap? Yes. Too long? Yes. It needed to lose 35 mins. But did it have heart? Spunk? Even wit? All, yes. It could've used some blood and nudity, but ultimately, it was surprisingly better than most Amityville movies.

Me, after adding bacon to my Meat Trio frozen pizza: 🎶"Meat Quad make the money, see, Meat Quad get the honeys, G..."🎶

I just got jump scared by the weather. "Looks like rain." "Yup." "There's the thunder." 'Yup." "There's some rain drops." "You better get inside." "Yup." *WIND FUCKING ROARS* "HOLY SHIT!" "WHAT?" "WHAT?" "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE WIND. LET'S GET INSIDE!" Shit was crazy.

Snowflake was on my porch waiting for me to get up today. I know this, because this is the picture I got informing me that my cat food had been delivered.

It's sad that kids today will never know what it was like to have a guarantee that your pizza would arrive hot in 30 minutes or less. "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza," wasn't just a joke in a movie, it was a principle we lived by that has been lost to enshitification.

Trying to fill the void with Magic cards, but no matter how many singles I buy, the emptiness is not filled. But maybe, just maybe, if I drop the $3 for a Kogla, Titan Ape for my Raph and Mikey deck, that'll do it.

If you like crime/drama/mystery shows, but want something a little different, check out Deadloch. It is not the same old same old. It's fresh and funny, weird, smart, and the second season is even better than the first one.

My back yard is hopping right now. At least seven grackles, two robins, and a bluejay.

This one hurts. I loved his art since I first saw his covers for Marvel Comics Presents. Zero Girl is quirky as hell and one of the most unique comics I've ever read. It's sad to lose someone that was so creative. RIP Sam Kieth.

"You're very helpful and good at your job and I appreciate all your assistance." -- Me, to Lola as she sits directly in my way watching me, as I'm trying to clean her litter box. This must be what it was like to be my mom making pies and cookies when I was a kid insisting on "helping" her.

Multiple bigfoot sightings, 85 mph wind gusts, 73 degrees one day, 20 degrees and snow storm the next day (literal 50 degree drop in one day), then exploding meteors on St. Paddy's Day... Fucking Ohio, man... She keeps you on your toes.

There's a lot of shitty things in the world, so I think it'd be nice to take a moment and think of something good that will make you happy, like legions of racist idiots, big mad right now, running to their favorite websites to whine that, "Sinners is just really super overrated." Suck it, losers.

First color of the season... Crocuses crocin'.

Ever microwave a hotdog? Once they get so hot, they start to make a whistling sound. Me, watching my hotdog in the microwave:

"I like you drunk. You're cute when you slobber." -- Horny doctor lady in Basket Case (1982)