gweh.. anxious about using the cpap again.. i hope i can get some sleep this time..

i feel like i slept as bad (or worse) as i usually do... this is gonna take some getting used to...

I have to stay so perfectly still… this sucks

Completely doesn’t work if I lay on my side.. never been able to sleep otherwise so idk how to do this..

this is really uncomfortable >_< will probably get used to it but. uurrgggh

showed some friends huge chunks of The Update and seemed everybody liked it a whole lot :] that makes me happy also actually glad that it took me this long to make a big update. now that i know the engine things are programmed waaayyy better than they would have if i just kept adding on over years

aauuu

i miss cohost

i have this weird fear that once i get my cpap i will get worse. not like from sleep but just a worse person. like somehow my tired placid-ness has just been a result of not having the energy. and that once i get that i will just be annoyed with everything

oh yeah.. it is a windows open kind of night... =w=

i hope i am not crashing

ggrrrarrgharhrghgh

me: i want to do this area kind of spooky. also me: and there will be "cheese shaped locks" you have to use cheese to unlock

blarg

me a week ago: yeah this won't be that big of an update me now: i've added a new resource along cheese and fruit.

working with my old code is so frustrating but i am very happy with my recent progress

well i got the results from the sleep study. they are gonna be sending me the cpap machine.. waah. i sure hope it helps!! seems like it will.

;___;

ooohhh dear it kind of sounds like my computer is making a rattling noise while on, now. i feel like. it has got to be one of the fans, right? there are no other moving parts to it. but i'm scared if it ISN'T because the sound sounds somewhat like a very old hard drive and i'm like. what if

before valentines ends --- oohhhhh shoooot. dang it

feeling kind of.. moody. bleh.

seeing this post and thinking, well, that is roughly the amount i make. and i feel like i am able to bring my friends along for fun stuff. then i realize how i'll look on instagram stories and see the friends i have that make more than me and it's like. actually oversees vacations and stuff.

i am glad i get to be a lesbian

well my mom gave me a humidifier for my room today and that was much needed and i am happy about that

bwehhh... went to a restaurant i like but it usually destroys my stomach for the 2nd time in a few days and. now my stomach is so much worse. blehhh

guh. my dad called me to check in about my sleep study soon and. despite the fact that reiterate i have had sleeping problems my whole life he 1. blames hrt 2. blames the fact that i kept my door closed all the time at home?? he acted like he never remembered my sleeping problems when-

gggrrraaarrrrgg

worse&worse&worse&worse

cruel sickening cruel sickening cruel sickening

augh. augh. augh.

if i were a (vtuber) streamer i do not think i could decide on what character i would be and i'd be different ones on different days playing certain games specifically and it would probably become obvious that im plural

feeling all antsy and frustrated and not really sure why. grrurghh

what if i finally get this sleep study done and they figure out why i sleep so terribly and we find a solution and i sleep better and then i still have all this brainfog and executive dysfunction

ha ha yaaayyy surprise bills haha yaayyy 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

sometimes i think my plurality is very obvious to me. it makes sense (thing i am thinking now: way i'll have drastically different feelings towards things at different times). and sometimes i think that i am just Like This and i shouldn't be thinking that. which in of itself is. pretty plural

*gripping self by shoulders* what ever you do. do not start smoking. why would you even consider that.

augh

i should get a tattoo

hope that's not an ear infection coming along.. grrr

i really think i need to opt to get that sleep study done for real.. the actual one instead of the at home test. that's sure going to be really bad and dangerous for my savings probably but im so so sick of living like this

maybe i ought to try to draw more this year

best thing to come out of me playing metroid prime 4 is now i am wanting to play the other metroid prime games. and those ones are good. so now i'm happy about those instead of being mad about 4 :]

just realized that instead of watching the game awards i could go to the bar with a bunch of dolls. hmmm. much 2 consider

realizing more and more lately just how fractured my memories are. bleh

on act 3 of silksong and at this point i'm just kind of like. damn this is kind of dragging on huh