"You want to know the most excited I got for this movie? Seeing the little hobo in the Caravan Pictures logo!" (Andrew) "What’s that guy’s deal?! What was he getting up to? Stealing pies and fiddles?" "But from Old Hollywood - he stole a pie from Fatty Arbuckle." (Andrew) -A Low Down Dirty Shame

"It’s like, ‘You’ve heard of Logan’s Run. What about Logan’s Dumb?’" -In Time

"#FloppyCock. We’ve heard about poppycock, and now we’re talkin’ floppy cock!" -The Fan

"Jesus’s whistling palms!" (Andrew) "You can hear him coming from three days away." "Oh man, that guy just waves his hand and cabs stop." (Steve) -Encino Man

"Robert DeNiro is a knife salesman." (Steve) "He’s a TRAVELING knife salesman! There can’t be that many sporting goods stores in San Francisco. Where is he going?!" -The Fan

"It is so stupid. I never saw this before, and it is…not for brains." -Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

"A hungry Okie could probably take out a Predator. The Dust Bowl’s going on, they can’t even get into Gone With the Wind…" -Predators

"'By the way, my dad owns Double-Dare, so I’m doing pretty okay myself.'" (Steve) "‘You’re marrying the heir to Double-Dare?!’" -My Best Friend's Wedding

"This is a food bill for this guy - he’s going to eat like a king!" "I think you mean ‘meal ticket.’" (Andrew) "I don’t know things!" -My Best Friend's Wedding

"Well, maybe we should get rid of the FAA and deregulate it. Let the free flying decide." "Cut to massive death everywhere." (Andrew) "That’s just our personal freedom there." -Timecop

"Did we mention what Keanu Reeves’ character name is here? David Alan…Grier? No, wait, that’s a comedian. David Alan Griffin." -The Watcher

"James Spader in this looks like $900,000, but like in 1929, right before the stock market crash. Because you can see it starting here! Right after this, everything is gone." -The Watcher

"One of my favorite Keanu moments ever: Him dancing to Rob Zombie’s ‘Dragula.’" (Andrew) "‘You gotta dig through the bitches…or burn through the ditches…or is it witches?’" -The Watcher

"I’ve never seen a delayed scroll in my life - I almost fell off the couch!" (Andrew) "We’re 15 minutes in! You’ve lost your scroll privileges!" -The Shadow

"Bay didn’t do this movie." (Chris) "But did he do Speed 2?" "No, but it’s a Bay trope." (Andrew) "It’s in the Bay area." -Con Air

"Final Destination 4DX?! You smell the hot rubber." (Chris) "No, the seat actually kills you." -Predator 2 (live)

"You can hunt and whatever, but please, use the whole human - use every piece of us. It’s all good!" -Predator 2 (live)

"I think if you died clothed, he just takes your clothes." -Predator 2 (live)

"Confirmed murderer John Landis?" "He’s the master of horror-comedy, Eric!" (Steve) "I would say so. I like some of his movies, despite the crimes." -Weekend at Bernie's

"Fred Gwynne goes, ‘Christ on his throne, no!’" (Andrew) "Christ on his throne?! Isn’t that against everything he was about?" "He was a chair maker!" (Griffin) "Yeah, he made shitty chairs!" -Pet Sematary

"I want this to be directed by the Coen brothers." (Steve) They could pull it off!" "The Coens do have the chops to pull off directing Weekend at Bernie’s." (Steve) -Weekend at Bernie's

"I feel like if you're the head of Europol, you can spot a fake mustache a mile away." (Steve) "It's a classic European crime." -Ocean's Twelve

"We’re all just doing the Mark Hamill Joker voice." (Steve) "Put your fucking email away - I know exactly what I’m doing." (Andrew) "I actually don’t know what I’m doing, so if you could tell me, that would be great." -Brainscan

I might drink the spit." "Well, whose spit?" (Andrew) "I don’t know." "That plays a huge role in the decision, because if it’s my spit, sure, but if it’s your spit, I’m not doing that." (Andrew) "It’s a great honor!" -Dune (2021)

"You as a teenager cannot ghost your parents’ funeral." (Andrew) "Good thing I did it in my 40s." -Regretting You

"Social media was a mistake, because all it is now is ‘We should be fascist’ or ‘You’re doing pizza wrong,’ and first of all, shut up to both of them." -Regretting You

"They somehow made Tron for idiots…and Tron is pretty dumb." -The Matrix Revolutions

"Dude, if you want to watch piss-play videos, I can help you find piss-play videos." (Andrew) "It made me think of piss-play videos, which I obviously adore." -Regretting You

"I think the biggest problem with being an Italian vampire is that you can’t eat garlic." -Twilight: Breaking Dawnmentary Part 2

"Who introduced the martial arts to the Eastern European block?!" (Steve) "The Silk Road!" -Gymkata

"Doctors without Borders…because they don’t have Borders anymore. See, it’s funny because it doesn’t make sense." -Moontrap

"You’re going to a giant house in Miami - did you really think that drugs weren’t involved?!" -The Substitute

"Vigo talks about how he has a ‘throne of blood’ - that’s not going to be sturdy, right? Can you imagine trying to sit on that?" "‘I keep falling through my throne of blood!’" (Andrew) -Ghostbusters II

"I’ll tell you why that’s there: This movie is about mercenaries, and if you’re a mercenary sitting in the theater, you’ll be like ‘Yep, those are troubled waters.’" -The Substitute

"'The dummy corporations. Something unexpected happened - they started making money. Lots of money.’" (Andrew) "Here’s the thing: you don’t accidentally make lots of money." -Swordfish

"You know, Dog Day Afternoon is a good movie and all…but can you write it in 60 seconds while getting a blowjob?" -Swordfish

"It’s really uncomfortable to watch this movie post-9/11." (Andrew) "Do you think this got a theatrical release in Afghanistan?" -Swordfish

"You’re either paranoid about being pantsed or you’re too old to know that you put on a belt already." -On wearing suspenders with a belt; American Shaolin

"Monks aren’t getting bills, right? A monk getting a credit card bill?" (Andrew) "Hold on a second. I’m going to get my monk shoes on and get out of here." -American Shaolin

"This is when they deregulated the dojos in the late ‘80s - controversial policy from George H.W. People say ‘Read my lips’ was a big thing, but it was really about the dojos." -American Shaolin

"I want my ponytails greasy, groady, and gnarly, and this dude has a conditioned ponytail - it looks like a horse mane, and a *competition* horse mane!" (Andrew) "Listeners at home, Andrew was pointing in my face when he said ‘competition horse mane.’" -American Shaolin

"Hold on a second - I thought you guys LOVED animation?" "I don’t have to love all animation!" (Andrew) "Okay, this is news to me, because every time I don’t like something, you’re like, ‘I…LOVE animation.’" -Animation Damnation: Ewoks

"He is very Jason Voorhees in this." (Steve) "Jason Voorhees in a sweater-vest." -The Dead Pool

"Never pull over for car trouble. That’s what AAA is for. Don’t be pulling over helping strangers." (Andrew) "Help no one. Trust no one, Mulder." -Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense

"Speaking of stupid shit, on the IMDB trivia, I saw that this is the first Predator movie to feature a left-handed predator!" "I saw that, and almost spit on my own phone." (Andrew) -AVP: Alien vs. Predator

"I’m too scared to have kids because I might have a *coughy* kid - all night long with the coughing." -Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense

"It’s easier to get a gun than Sudafed in this country." -Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense

"Whoa, what, suck-fu?!" -Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense

"Ham radio was like the chatroom of the ‘80s." -Stroker Ace

"If anyone is going to a horse doctor instead of a real doctor, it’s Burt Reynolds." -Stroker Ace