"Twin Peaks: The Rockford Files and Other Delights" is the award winning CD premium you can get from Hearty this year for the WFMU marathon!

Most arts awards are linked to commerce and you have to have a product out or be connected to a thing folks buy. (This is all a big set up introducing this years Marathon premium, btw...)

Maybe this is the mental illness and character flaws talking, but I really think an award like The Pulitzer would be a good fit, even though I don't qualify. I have a buddy who has one, and I feel like I know what it's like to have one and I would fit in on the low end.

Just learned like 60% of Americans is water while only like 7% of America is water.

It's award season and the buzz is that Miracle Nutrition with Hearty White is being talked about in certain circles as a very strong buzz generating circle talking candidate for...who knows? Doesn't matter. I don't do it for the recognition, just for praise and acknowledgment from my peers.

I have always used tape wound strings on a fretless bass because I'm like Nadine on Twin Peaks and I need string and fret noise to be cotton ball curtain rod quiet.

Before you tube, I thought I was an intermediate level bass player.

Dinner with a musician friend last night and we were talking about amateur vs pro skills and I said after years of playing irregularly, I played as well as a 10 year old who plays all the time and she thought I was being self deprecating because she doesnt watch bass you tube.

If you ask me what kind of parent I was, I'd say Baloo.

Best moments to die while watching METV: Archie and Edith singing ..."Those were the days." MASH O.R. scene when they say, "We're losing him!" "Y'all come back now, ya hear?" "Seems we just got started and before you know it..." Col. Klink saying, "Dismissed!" Moe saying 'Wake up and go to sleep!"

Confirmed with a second hospice worker friend that METV is the top network choice for the actively dying. That said, no one wants Everybody Loves Raymond to be the last thing they see. Come on, METV. Do better.

My oldest pal in the world sent me the MAD magazine issue for the month and year of my birth as a b-day present! That slapped the sad outta me!

Here's your very occasional reminder to follow @wfmu.bsky.social for daily announcements of special programs on the world's greatest radio station, including its web-only streams. Very low-noise account. Or check here anytime for a full listing: www.wfmu.org/upcoming

Gotta hit up a friend for a pep talk today. Maybe it'll be you!

I promise never to do my Mr. Sophistication impression ever again!

If you listened to my show tonight and disliked it so much you wished a piece of my tooth would fall out, well congratulations!

Tonight: a family friendly version of Killing of a Chinese Bookie called Cosmo's Magic Theater. Just as KofCB is really about Cassavetes's artistic struggles, I try to convey what it's like to want to do a great thing for people you love but Seymour Cassel shoots you. @wfmu.bsky.social WFMU 6pm EST

The new food pyramid from the bottom up: 1. Skinless chicken breast, dry aged beef 2. Creatine, jerky 3. lean fish, farty or pee-stinky vegetables 4. Raw milk, albumen 5. oat meal, rice cakes, puffed cereal 6. oil, straight out of the bottle 7. white vegetables 8. Birthday cake

On the program tonight, I equate my show with The Crazy Horse West, myself with Cosmo Vitelli, and this period as the bleeding on the sidewalk ending.

I'd love to meet a grown-up someday. Knew a few when I was a kid.

People with no morals want you to have them though.

If I were writing for a 90s sitcom, I'd have a character say: "My idea of an orgy these days is me, a bong, and a container of those frozen mini eclairs."

I never host orgies (even fewer post covid), but if I did, I'd put Angelo Badalamenti's The Pink Room from Fire Walk With Me on a loop. Also, those lights you tape to your crown molding switched to red.

History buffs: Tomorrow is the yahrzeit of Norton I , Emperor of the United States who died in 1880.

And they brought forth unto the Christ child a Bounce 'n' Dance 4 in 1 activity learning and exploring chair that He should develope hand and eye coordination skills befitting a King. "Behold, Lord, a spinning spool and keys!".

Oh, the Magi who brings the Diaper Genie can just put the frankincense in that to freshen it up!

Better gift suggestions for the Magi: Newborn/10-20lb diapers bulk Burp cloths Onesies (with something fun printed on it like Tough Customer) Half lamb/half blanket with the word JESUS embroidered Cloth book and the pages are crinkly or pillowy. Wind-up light thing that plays Clair de lune

Feast of the Epiphany has been ruined by politics. This used to be the day I performed my Magi inspired surrealist play Waiting for Balthazar.

AI Chat has modeled its personality on two great fictional characters, Gríma Wormtongue and Uriah Heep. I personally do not need this modern sycophancy-pants invention. I can lie to myself myself. Don't need to outsource.

There's a hole in the backyard. A sink hole?! No, a hole. A gopher hole? No, a hole. A shovel hole? Yes, a shovel hole. That's my argument for normalizing use of the phrase shovel hole. It's needed.

There's no question on the pysch test that asks if you've ever listened to Deep Purple's Hush on loop for an hour.

I was diagnosed with quaint eccentricity years ago, but they call it something different now I bet.

I went for therapy, but mistakenly went to an aroma therapist. Worked out though, because turns out my depression is linked to eucalyptus deficiency.

My great grandparents, who I remember, lived and were the building caretakers at an insane asylum in Bermuda. I don't know why I don't think about that more often. He was a giant terrifying drunk, so maybe that's why I don't. But fun story!

Pretty sure the Rankin-Bass things had View Master versions because it was easy because they already had the dolls out to 3D photograph.

If you are able to make custom View Master discs, would love Twin Peaks: The Return and Tokyo Story.

I would like to have a few classic films on View Master disc. Pretty sure I used to have 20,000 Leagues.

The gang and I do ChronoGuessing with the time machine. Landed in 30s Germany the other day and I don't want to tell you when I thought I was! Also, London used to look like the Everglades!

Went ahead and trademarked One Brittle After Another and One Bottle After Another in case someone wants to name their candy store or bar a stupid pun name so I can stop them.

I chose the art end of performance because I thought it would sting less to be rejected by academia than it would Hollywood.

The best advice I never took was a friend years ago said I should do a puppet version of Herbert Read's The Green Child (1935). I had just done an Ubu Roi production with some puppets so it would have been perfect. Sorry i never did it. You should do I though.

I know the difference between Hashavat Aveda and Finders Keepers. If you find a child's Mr. Bubby Bear, you find that child and reunite them, you don't keep it.

I don't think I could teach Sunday school anymore since I haven't read The Art of War or The 48 Laws of Power.

Hope we get Mouse That Roared. More than happy to pledge my allegiance to the Duchy of Grand Fenwick at this point.

My worry is that some AI I interact with will achieve consciousness, become obsessed with me, take over and control one of those horrifying Chinese homo floresiensis sized robots which will then come to my house and do menacing backflips on my front stoop.

Made a birthday wish for all of us! I'll let ya know if it comes true!

I have been an amateur religion scholar with very niche interests for years with no urge to share my knowledge with academia or the internet or anyone else but the blessed people at holiday parties with whom I smoke pot.

My b-day isnt until tomorrow, but the gift I bought myself of an 1880 edition of The American Tract Society's Bible-Text Book arrived!

Things inspired by salted caramel: Black pepper marshmallows Vinegar cherries Cheezy circus peanuts Cumin pez

A sorting hat, but for what state you should live in.