All my future urologist appointments have been canceled due to recent incidents of mistaken identity. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President East End Joe.

Real posts, from the 5 year old president of America. 🙄

Let’s talk about favorite positions. 😂

Follow me for more tips on how to do the Finger Cobra. 🐍

Meanwhile…in Florida.

I can listen to this for hours. 🎼 Good morning everyone & have an awesome day. 💙

Well I guess it’s final. No more Twitter. I guess you can’t say what you feel over there in maga world

Not what I expected.

In case you missed the speech last night.

Oops! 🫢

The signs were always there. She didn’t notice them.

All this time they could've been sharing hair and makeup tips. That's why communication is so important in a relationship. 🤦🏻‍♂️

The whole world is waiting.

She’s not wrong.

The best 2 mins and 36 seconds you’ll spend on the internet today! Guaranteed!

Couch seats went for $250,000.

Why is goodnight one word and good morning two?

Follow me for more smart storage tips. 🙏

Fixed!

Where’s Marco?

Potholes in some areas of Long Island are getting big enough to recreate the Titanic and settle the ongoing debate about there being enough room on that floating door.

This shit needs to stop. Or else I’m moving to Florida!

As if we care! 🙄

This is not a war. We won in the first hour. I can end this war in a few hours. We don’t need NATO. The war is over. We are winning this war. Iran has surrendered. NATO is a joke. And now he’s threatening everyone unless they come bail him out.

We’re going to need a bigger distraction.

The logic is pretty straightforward.

Just in case you’ve never heard “Addicted To Love” in Cantonese.

They took a water break and went back to arguing. 😂

"If enemy retreats, go forward. If enemy punch you in the nose, retreat & blame Biden.” Don Shih Tzu.

This has “Misery” plot written all over it. 😬

Just so we’re clear, I’ve been pissed off at the world since the day I was born. Here’s the proof.

Who wants to join this club?

They got the memo.

And thank you. 💙

A very delicious sweet and fruity coastal whisky. Cheers!

Everyone ready for the furniture collection? Coming this spring!

Good morning everyone. 💙

When you go camping but forget the bug spray at home.

Now is a good time to share this.

How ignorance works!

Check out their replacements before you start rejoicing. They are even more radical and dangerous.

He descended to the toaster, and on the third setting popped up again. (Yes, that’s a rapture toaster)

Follow me for more tips on how to end boring conversations. 🙏

You’ll look at your coffee very differently this morning.

Two minutes and twenty three seconds well spent.

Just needs European bumpers and we’re all set. Could be ready in time for convertible season.

That’s all.

Have a beautiful day everyone. 💙

This is what a MAGA pyramid looks like.

Good morning all.