Why yes, I would quite like one. Wait, you're not talking about giving me one though, are you? This isn't the same thing as someone sending me a message saying 'i thought you'd like a backrub and a custard creme'.

Can't wait for ONSLAUGHT 5 where Scott Adkins' son has one of the greatest movie fight scenes of all time in a sporting goods store.

My weekend viewings. It's been a very 3.5ish kind of week.

I'm impressed how tacky this whole thing is. And it's not even a particularly special UFC event either. Just a bog-standard card that could be any weekend. Except they have to fight in the weather and have to deal with weirdos with drones dropping shit on them. No way this goes off without a hitch.

I was watching DIY videos on YouTube last night, because I'm incredibly boring and middle-aged, and I saw someone using a spirit level that lights up green when it's level, and my boring middle-aged self hasn't been so exited by something in ages. I mean, I'd only use it maybe twice a year. But hey.

The Paul McCartney episode of Chicken Shop Date was wonderful. I can't believe someone that has been so famous for so long can still be so chill and normal.

Catching up on this year's Coopers Hill Cheese Rolling. BBC has a full 2hr live broadcast and it's on catch-up. Chaotic as always, and no British winners in the various downhill races. I'm not sure if that's a shame, or makes me feel proud that it's gone fully international.

Damn, just found that REVOLVER is streaming on TUBI, so I guess I'm watching that now. Even though it's almost half midnight. But what better things have I got to do than watch this? Sleep? Pff, I can do that anytime.

For the first time in forever, all three EQUALIZER films are available on streaming at the same time. And on the same provider (Channel 4) So, I'm carrying on the series rewatch I started this time last year with EQUALIZER 2 and will do 3 tomorrow.

Love the inclusion of two balls and that huge pink lighthouse in the background.

New albums out today for both Elder and All Them Witches. "Oh, that's a coincidence as I'm about to see them both on tour next month" I say to myself, before realising "yes, that's why they're going on tour - because they have new albums out".

Absolutely loving this game. If you like Resogun and / or Geometry Wars then it's a big recommendation. Especially in the dark with headphones.

I drive past this town a few times a year on the way to the in-laws and I've always wondered about it but have never gone to investigate. I kind of want to even more now though. Real Truman Show meets Hot Fuzz vibes.

I'm going to 2 gigs in June, a schedule I've not experienced since my 20s. Elder & Blood Incantation, followed by All Them Witches. First I'm going mostly for Elder. I've never really listened to Blood Incantation, but I hear they're superb so giving them a listen now. Psychadelic Death Metal.

The day after I spend money on my first new AAA game on PS5 this year, pretty much every game on my watchlist goes on sale too.

Ok, that was pretty good.

I'm considering inventing some proprietary version of something that's already cheap and plentiful, and then making it my life's work to rid the world of these existing things so that everyone has to buy my luxury, subscription based version instead. Thinking maybe coat-hangers.

Got about an hour or two into First Light last night. Definite Uncharted vibes in the intro, but when it does Bond things it legit gave me chills. When the theme slowly kicks in in the background, the clever use of 'Bond, James Bond'... Yeah, this feels like the game I wanted.

So, looks like I'm buying 007 First Light then. Looks like everything I was hoping for, plus some nice extra touches too. Seen several reviews reference Indiana Jones Great Circle, as well as the expected Hitman and Uncharted. I've been holding off getting a big new game incase this is worth it.

New 4K version of Hammer's Dracula '58, including footage not seen in 60 years? I didn't know there was any more unseen footage that's not already in the 2012 BluRay. m.youtube.com/watch?v=C6l3...

Hot Take: Guinness from a can at home tastes just as good as draft Guinness from 90% of English pubs. (This is more of a slate of English bars not doing it properly than it is a can recommendation). And this is just as good a way to pour it than any other can pouring technique.

Currently binging a bunch of the Harry Hill Show thing on YouTube, which is excellent. Tried to watch some with my daughter who, after 2 minutes said "this looks like Daddy humour" and left the room. I guess she's not wrong though.

Raging Speedhorn

I take back any criticism I've had of VAR. This tech is superb.

Watching some of this RADIO ONE BIG WEEKENDER footage. I miss bands being popular. Solo artists are much less interesting to watch live. One person singing with a load of stationary session musicians behind them, nobody interacting with eachother. Seems a bit of a waste of a huge stage.

Was chatting with my 11yo daughter about how deadly a shark with laser-beams would be. She said that it's stupid, because how would the shark operate the laser? Unless it's always on. And what sort of laser is it - like a light sabre, or one of those laser-pointer things? All good points, tbf.

Big garden project on the go so it's pretty dirty outside at the moment, but this guy doesn't mind rolling around on the dirty patio.

Checking out a Bruce Willis film I've never seen before - STRIKING DISTANCE. Netflix only has this in HD. I remember when HD was a big deal, but now it's like having to watch something in pan & scan instead of widescreen. Like 'Fine. If that's the only option then I guess I'll have to take it'.

Star Wars has possibly the greatest movie world building that cinema has ever had, yet so many stories all try to tie back to Skywalker. So the brief is: take the Star Wars universe and make a story that has absolutely no ties, references or homages to Luke Skywalker.

It's the (long) weekend, baby! And it's only been this warm and sunny for about 2 days, so I'm not sick of it yet. Let's see if that's still the case come Monday.

Making smalltalk with the guy working at the convenience store when I popped into to get lunch. "Hey, hope you're good" says me. "Yes, I'm doing great! But I'm on antidepressants so I'm doing great against my own free will". "... Ok then"

I think I have a bit of a problem with constantly buying slightly different headphones / speakers for different usecases. My latest pickup is this neckband speaker, mostly so I can sit in the garden engulfed in music but still able to hear the world, but without big speakers annoying the neighbours.

I see America has reached the John Wayne 'The Green Berets' stage of this pointless conflict then...

Couldn't miss out on this tour. Tickets bought for the Bristol date. It's not often I see gigs where I'd quite happily pay for individual gigs for each of the 3 bands on the bill. I've seen High on Fire a bunch of times, but never seen Gnome or Green Lung. Should be a superb Christmas gig.

I'm kind of expecting that new He-Man film to be this year's 'D&D Honour Among Thieves' - really enjoyable by the few people who go and watch it, so fails at the box-office, then people spend years lamenting the lack of sequel.

If the Odyssey was all that good, Iron Maiden would have written a ten minute song based on it.

Just-hook-it-to-my-veins.gif

My Letterboxd Recents. I don't really recommend Firecracker. Not unless you want to see possibly the most ridiculous, shoehorned in topless scene I've ever seen. And I've seen Leprechaun 4.

I legit love this. Ok, 'carbonara' is a bit of a stretch, but 'scran cooked in 5 minutes in a van with a portable gas hob sat on your lap and two pans way too small' it's impressive stuff and I'd totally eat this. Just best not ask where he keeps the ingredients. Or where the sink and handwash are.

Restarting THE WITNESS after several years, and remembering why I stopped playing it the first time, because the puzzles are just so fucking annoying. Filling my phone camera-reel up with absolute nonsense.

Loved this woolly crime caper. Great fun. boxd.it/eoLN99

Sat for Sheep Detectives. Not one I was planning on watching when I saw the trailer, but everyone says it's great so I've taken the family. You all better be right.

I was kind of hoping Israel would've won Eurovision just for the amount of pain and awkwardness it'd have caused the Eurovision organisers; a 'fuck you, you shouldn't have let them in in the first place' thing. But I guess that's unfair on the millions of people who actually love that event.

So, even though it's written right there in big letters, and it makes more sense to be called that, and it's always been called that, I've only just discovered it's actually DIP-DAB and not DIB-DAB. #MandalaEffect

Watched BUGONIA this evening. I loved it boxd.it/enkaDB

Hey Tom Felton, please audition for this. Because 5 years ago I put a bet on you being the next Bond and I'll get £1000 if it's you. Thanks.

Went to a bar on the top floor of my hotel last night. Had 1 drink. For some reason I decided not to have a second.

Could've gone off for free evening drinks and food with work colleagues, but opted to catch HOKUM at the cinema instead. Hope I made the right choice.

Went to a sandwich shop for lunch. Asked her to make a cheese & pickle sandwich. 'yeah sure' she says. And this is what I got. I mean, I guess technically it's right.

After living in the UK since *checks notes* birth, I'm finally going going to visit Northern Ireland next week. Off to Belfast for few days. Thankfully paid by work because that's a surprisingly expensive city. Cheap flights there, extortionate prices for hotels when you arrive. Worse than London!