My homie @duncgibbs.bsky.social just released the game he's been working on for the past year on the same day as Hades 2. If you want to experience a cursed blackjack-alike while playing as an ocean 11 crew of hustlers, check it out! duncangibbs.itch.io/thaw

The dame walked into Gnasher's third floor office on two shapely legs. Half as many legs as he wanted to see in the doorway, but twice as many as a failure like himself deserved.

hey I made a game where you throw a floppy horse through a wall for the "So Bad it's Good" Jam 2025 #SBIGJam (go play it in your browser! 🐴) intrusive-thoughts.itch.io/hole-your-ho...

My brother thinks The Goonies is called The Gooners. Real Grink shit in the Houston airport.

The best part of showering in Belize is that when you're peeing in the shower, you're finally actually saving the rainforest.

Oh, you think we’re out of weird guys to make up? Pathetic. Watch this: A guy who carries artisanal ketchup (he calls it catsup) to restaurants, but tries to do it in secret because of a combination of shame and wanting to be asked about it. His name’s Trevor.

Nice! Only 99.99999997% to go!

20% unless the waiter trips and dumps soup all over you then 20% but you kind of glare at them on the way out

[Austin Butler being momentarily possessed by the ghost of Elvis that lives inside his head until he dies while still in full Feyd Rautha makeup on the set of Dune 2] Bazinga

I humbly ask: where is my bloated, big budget “The Secret of Platform 13” movie trilogy?!

“The cause of your pain while chewing is TMJ,” mourns Dr. Stephen. “What’s that, doctor?” the patient asks; worried. “Too Much Jaw. It’s not terminal, but unfortunately…” he explains, reaching for the osteotome, which he tells his newest nurse is called “The Scraper,” “There’s only one cure.”

Ted Cruz would fuck anybody for a single ballot in his favor. That’s why they call him

Bone Daddy

[hands corn maze guy $50] make sure I never come out

Ditto but for The Shocker and “I Love You” in ASL

Every podcast ad is like: [ambiguous piano music] “I’m Flerd Jerner. I spent the last ten years of my life being a poorly paid expert on things that no one should have expertise in. Join me and my guest on the Jerner Journal. Think you know anything? Fuck you. Brought to you by AT&T.”

Elvis Presley: [wildly shooting at his tv] The girl from The Ring: [falls to the shag carpet, dies] Me: Thank you for saving my life, Elvis Presley Elvis Presley: [putting gun away] History will misinterpret this event. But you and I know what happened here. And baby, that's enough

Ever forget to buy a periodic - but essential - toiletry one time and then the shame of not having it burned so deeply into your brain that six months later you’ve accidentally bought too much of it? Haha yeah me neither. Anyway, would you like some cheap as free toothpaste?

I can’t wait until we get to the “pisses in jars in his penthouse suite while watching Ice Station Zebra on repeat” part of Elon Musk’s millionaire mental meltdown just so we don’t have to hear from and about him for four months.

👉👈 what if we kissed in the panic room from Panic Room

Somebody has to rebuild the cities. If you really think about it, Godzilla is a job creator.

I know it’s easy to dunk on idiots like this… And that’s it. There’s no “but.” Go hog wild on this fool.

All the women in the Senate should wear basketball shorts and t shirts in solidarity with Fetterman.

“They promised they’d be here! Can’t we give the best man 10 more minutes,” Nick begs, more to himself than to the priest busy looking at his watch. Plenty, watching Spider-Man 3 and double fisting a vape and a weed oil pen, mutters to their four roommates, “There was something I had to do today…”

Puppetborne good

How come we never learn about rad new guys? Whenever I learn about a new guy I also have to learn about all the crimes they did.

*to the tune of Eleanor Rigby* Beetlejuice handjob Rubbing a guy at a show while he squeezes my tit Take a vape hit

Everyone in Paris is separated by six lovers or less.

Keep seeing ads for Spanish language channels on my Roku. I’d be mad except now I know the greatest fact of all: In Spanish, “Dinner for Schmucks” is called “Cena para Tontos.”

I did to weddings what John McCain did to planes. (Crashed 6 of them.)

Introducing Boilet, the FIRST toilet that keeps the bowl water at a perfect 100 degrees Celsius

Good old cringe. Nothin’ beats that!

Made Ina Garden’s chocolate cake.

That IS his beautiful house, and that IS his beautiful wife.

The funniest thing about Red Dead Redemption 2 is how obviously the NPC AI comes from GTA V. Everyone is walking around behatted and rocking mutton chops aggressively saying “I’m walkin’ heah,” and “Get the fuck out of my face.”

“I have good news and bad news, which do you want first?” “Give me the good news first, Doc.” “Lord Anthrax, removing an appendix is one of the easiest surgeries any real doctor could perform.” “What’s the bad news?” “I can’t tell you. Because of doctor patient congeniality.”

Dr. Medicine uses a dusty syringe to draw blood from a large, coughing man. “Oops, that’s too much. Gotta put some back in…” he guesses sagely as he pushes down on the plunger.

we’ll see who’s antisemitic when I sue all of these jews

Me, at a movie theater desperately screening a movie from over a decade ago, tearing up at the simple thought that nothing like this will ever be made again: movies are so back

Uh oh. They’ve figured out scam F2P games now.

They’re Community Noting ads over on Twitter now lmao

There should be a Cold Stone Creamery for loaded baked potatoes.

This guy looks like he’d be pro anything if you gave him a big swirly lollipop and a gentle kiss on the head.

“Jig’s up, pal,” grits Gnasher. The man at the end of the alley, wearing a black and white striped shirt and a mask that only covers his eyes, continues to click through empty chambers. A dog barks at a cat on top of a dumpster. Grim, hopeful, looks away. When he looks back, the burglar is gone.