Agent Rook
@targentrook.bsky.social
📤 90
📥 95
📝 304
I'm sorry Bishop
Targent is a fucking joke.
7 months ago
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They keep finding me...
7 months ago
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So it seems you-know-who doesn't actually recognise me. (That hurts a bit I worked for him for five years.) But as long as nobody runs their mouth, me and my partner can come out of hiding.
8 months ago
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Eek
8 months ago
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While "you know who" is around, me and my partner are currently in hiding. We are somewhere Targent will never think to look for us.
8 months ago
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No no no oh shit no
8 months ago
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I need some adult friends. I can't be hanging out with dumb teenagers anymore.
9 months ago
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Sorry for not being active here for a while, I got married. Anyway, I'm still mad that no one was surprised when I said I was a homosexual. What made it so obvious? Is it my walk? My voice? The way I dress? This is pissing me off.
9 months ago
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I have an important announcement to make. This may be a massive shock as I have been very good at hiding it. I am a homosexual man.
9 months ago
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Is there anything more disgusting than seeing a couple kiss in public? Repulsive. Nobody wants to see that shit.
9 months ago
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I told you. Tell a man he can be a woman and there will be no women left.
9 months ago
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I've learnt so much since I left Targent. For example, did you know men can be women? Wowsers.
9 months ago
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Shout out to women. I don't really know any but they seem alright.
9 months ago
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[Agent Rook has not reported to his superior. Location currently unknown. Possible AWOL]
9 months ago
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@bigbadbishop.bsky.social
Message me when you get the chance. I need to tell you something.
9 months ago
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Just spent 30 minutes assembling the new coffee machine. I swear if one more agent asks me for a caramel macchiato, I'm throwing them off the skyscraper.
10 months ago
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So sick of people saying Ariel gave up her voice for a man. If you even watched the movie you would know she wanted to be a human long before she even met Eric. She was only pushed over the edge after her Dad destroyed her stuff and she was manipulated by Ursula. And another thing
10 months ago
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What am I gonna go to a therapist for? So I can pay money for some stranger to tell me I'm gay? To find out I'm gay and in the closet? To help me discover that deep down I'm a homosexual man? Absolutely not. Miss me with that shit. I'm straight. I am straight.
10 months ago
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I know we're an evil organisation, but why do we have to live in a literal dump? This is disgusting. And probably dangerous.
10 months ago
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Y'all hear something?
10 months ago
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OOC: Rook getting swarmed by Family Goons
10 months ago
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*visibly shaking* Need to get back to the Nest. Agents there all different.
10 months ago
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Since I can't get back to The Nest at the moment, I might as well try something productive: For Sale: Souvenir eggs from San Grio. Rare and exclusive.I accept cash or genuine Azran artefacts as payment. Serious offers only.
10 months ago
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All these young couples acting all romantic today. Disgusting. Doesn't anybody have jobs anymore?
10 months ago
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Last night there was a report of an intoxicated agent singing Need You Now at 3am in a Lidl car park. It wasn't me. I never shop at Lidl. I'm an Aldi man.
10 months ago
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Hopefully nobody saw my... unprofessional behavior yesterday. This is why I don't drink.
10 months ago
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Nghhh. I could have done something with my life. I could have been a doctor or a lawyer but instead I wasted my life getting a useless degree in henchmanning.
10 months ago
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It seems I'm down to my last few coins. I suppose I should do the responsible thing for a Targent Agent and spend it all in a bar.
10 months ago
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Still no sign of Bishop. It's not like I miss him or anything , it's just he's the one carrying our money.
10 months ago
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Bishop, if you're reading this, I'm doing fine without you. I have replaced you with a dog and he is a much better agent than you. I don't miss you at all.
10 months ago
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This is fine
10 months ago
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Fine. I don't need that idiot. I can complete this mission on my own. I'll probably do it faster. Yes. This is good.
10 months ago
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Nobody is willing to help me find Bishop. You threaten a few people and suddenly everyone avoids you. Brilliant.
10 months ago
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I hate to ask, but has anyone seen a small man run past? He's about three foot tall, has blonde hair and is wearing the exact same outfit as me.
10 months ago
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you reached the end!!
feeds!
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