Beautiful, this. If you look closely you can see the hand he used to vote to take food away from kids in poverty which is the same hand he couldn't use to book a flight to Jota's funeral.

It's cute how the new Philips OneBlade can't use the old one's charging cable.

This is great and all that but Steve "Thick cunt" McThicko from down the road has a degree in Facebook and a HND in YouTube and he said his neighbour's cousin's milk man said mRNA vaccines aren't real and that they actually inject nano robots to control us but he didn't say who "they" were.

You don't meet a lot of people named Percy these days

Magnificent social mediaing

Have scientists considered asking any of the 4 Billion men on the planet for their thoughts?

How your email finds me

I seem to have picked up some new followers and I don't know what you're expecting but I hope you like the word "cunt" and pictures of Kermit tossing himself off while fingering his own arsehole.

It's amazing how many Americans are trying to tell me that UEFA has nothing to do with FIFA and that the Super League was all about greed and nothing to do with the corruption we've seen and encountered first-hand by UEFA for decades.

That pork and black pudding pie I just ate feels like I'll be on the toilet at 3am with stomach cramps

Nice to see Cristiano Ronaldo allowed back in the US. Y'know, what with him normally being banned 'cause he's a rapist but now a rapist is president so everything's ticketyboo if you love rape.

Karma rarely works so quickly.

Mince 'n' tatties for tea x

Hailstones up here. Big up the summer massive!

Just a reminder that Sepp Blatter, the man in charge of global football for many many years, was also the president of the world stockings and suspenders society, which opposed women wearing tights, and also wanted women to play football in beach volleyball outfits. FIFA! FUCK YEAH!

Superb work.

Remember when Liverpool and United and Madrid and Barca and Bayern and Juve wanted to leave UEFA and form their own European league and everyone pissed their knickers and threw their toys out over the betrayal of the beautiful game?

Anyone over 20 in a full tracksuit as actual fashion needs cunting right in the bastard

Tuesday

@maccasbss.bsky.social Are you crying into your extra hot extra foam chia seed matcha oat milk latte Frappuccinos and your Katz Deli Reubens?

Can't we go back to Ceefax and only having 4 channels?

This #Michael film, has it got all the bits about bumming kids in it or do we have to wait for the sequel? #MichaelJackson

$61,000 to watch grown adult men play netball. #NBA #Knicks #Spurs

Alfred Russel Wallace, October 1836

David Sullivan, 2026

I see the latest hot take is an army of basement-dwelling incels have deemed the new Supergirl to be unattractive.

Picky tea and I couldn't be happier

Divock!

BANTZ

Monday

Lads. We're nearly there.

The looks you get when you walk in to M&S food hall with a Lidl bag

All lifes mater

Bollocks, I know Sonny Crockett when I see him

Everyone needs to see this

Just been in JD Sports and when did they decide to only sell trainers for cunts?

I'm presuming this is a cry for help and he's been kidnapped. NOT THE BEES!

What's the best Nicolas Cage film and why is it 8mm?

Did he hurt his back while everyone was singing then pay £13Million of his own money to move to another restaurant, the little shithouse? Sing for him? Should have bounced pint pots off his fucking head.

I'm so fucking sick of you @macca07.bsky.social

A serving armed forces hero

If Reform aren't a racist party how come their members keep having to delete their social media accounts because of all the racism?

Arthur Scargill, 1984

You know how things happen and you think "well, this is about as low as it can get" and something else happens and you think "okay, but this definitely as low as things can ever be" and THEN something else happens and you think "right, it can't get worse now, it's not possible" and then ...

Thank God

Saturday

Lads