all ducks can cast zettaflare (this one is true)

a headmate to... impregmate

whenever someone hyperbolizes the incisiveness of a work of fiction by saying "_____ was a documentary" it reveals so much about how trustworthy the average person thinks documentaries are.

becoming plural to pass the bechdel test

i can't believe the AI powered oil diffuser for gamers that makes your home smell like explosions is on clearance

i don't make easy friends with anyone who isn't interested in doing the unglamorous and often unpopular work of removing the violence from their minds.

for the low cost of being declared an enemy of the state you, too, can stop hating the way you look in photographs

bitches will be like "i hate samsara" and then stay there

shotgunning a beer the same way you shotgun weed

i know half of my posts are making fun of insane ad copy, but i swear they just keep getting worse

signal boosting for my baseballs oomfies ❤️

james... if ceos could get away with putting that in their handbook ALL of them would be doing it...

i've been seeing people say that boredom is an important part of a behavioral diet lately, and i think it's a good take, but if i could nitpick a little i think it's silence that we need. not boredom.

when the cows come home? that's when you KNOW it's time to shut the fuck up.

i saw an ad this morning that said "i don't scroll, i microlearn" and every time i remember it my inner monologue says it in a meaner, more sarcastic voice.

is everyone else also getting fatigued with being entertained or am i just getting old?

sidewinded by the new employee introduction email i just got that says, verbatim: "He enjoys country swing dancing, dirtbiking, and spearfishing. His favorite band is Men I Trust."

2 Kings 2:23-24

(mazzy star voice) i wanna hold the rat inside you

world's buoyantest theriotype

asking me to use my turn signal is toxic surveillance culture. you want to know where i'm thinking of going before i even go there?? okay, peter thiel

actually "tony hawk" is the name of the doctor. you're thinking of tony hawk's pro skater.

oh hey, i'm one of this animal's organs

the first thing i've seen that made me want to watch mario galaxy

remembering a girl from high school who used to draw foxes all the time. she told me she was a fox from a distant fox planet, in a tone that suggested she was half joking. i hope she found her way home like i did.

the only way to kill a mockingbird is by hitting it with the moon

the frustrating thing is joann is a really interesting subject for death of the author! not because she's a transphobic ghoul, but because she's constantly trying to establish herself as the authoritative voice of her work from OUTSIDE the text ("dumbledor is gay", "wizards shit in hallways", etc)

where does this "separate the art from the artist" platitude even come from? the one everyone is always using as an axiom about ethical consumption? if you say roland barthes' "death of the author" then i'll know you haven't read it. that is NOT what that essay was about.

funniest reddit ad i've ever seen. "y'all, is it just me or is hamburgers helper kinda having a moment right now 👀?" - hamburger helper

me in 2003: i love html! :3 i love to make websites! :3 i hope i get to do it professionally someday! arf X3 web jobs in 2026: lockheed martin is seeking a level IV engineer who is passionate about training agentic AI models to identify elementary schools

if you ever address an elephant in the room, it's polite to clarify whether or not it's the proverbial one

today i am thinking about "the game" (sorry). the object of the game is to forget the game, and if you remember the game you lose the game. it's basically mysticism in reverse. if you play it backwards you've pretty much reinvented atma vichara meditation.

If you want to help a trans girl out of a red state and you know of any opportunities (remote or Seattle metro area) for a front-end web developer with just under 10 years of experience working on enterprise applications in Angular, I would be very grateful to hear from you

as far as i'm concerned, if you can't get down with the kinks, you're not a furry. you're just someone who wears a costume.

from my cohost

when i was 14 i was that dweeb who was always saying "i think girls are more attractive without makeup" and now i'm 34 and spend 15 hours a day watching eyeshadow tutorials

working on a sort of "therian cottage punk mom" look, ya know? a sort of "fraggle rock automail mechanic" vibe, yeah?

You all have free range to use this image in response to any transphobia now

EVERY day could be penguin awareness day, but y'all don't want it enough

citing pascal's wager and dryly converting to christianity with seconds left on the clock in an open attempt to get off on a technicality is funnier than anything that ever happened in dilbert.

evergreen

my 5yo nephew is really into: -open mouth caughing -hugging me

video games have come a long way since penn & teller's shithead basketball

is christmas the wrong day to come out of the closet to my family? i don't know if uncle webster can take it anymore

milhouse

three episodes into pluribus, and like....... am i not supposed to be on team hivemind??

in 2008-2009 nothing seemed unusual about the black eyed peas' seminal back-to-back hits "boom boom pow" and "i gotta feeling" breaking records in the billboard hot 100, but modern day every time i hear either of those songs i simply cannot figure out how they got away with it.

one month hrt