BBC weather said 27 degrees. Bike computer said 34. 🥵

Mad dogs and Englishmen.

I've been on a course all week so working from home, but back in the office today. There is aircon! 😀

We've had some mystery mushrooms sprout in a pot in the back garden. Who's for a Wellington?

It's actually turned quite cool here over the last half hour or so.

Two early morning runs on the bounce? What's happened to me?

Live from my reflecting pool.

Up and at em.

Woke early. I'm off for a run whilst I'll still cool enough to do so.

If you see this, post a vampire that isn't Dracula.

No, but people don't vote for Reform because the candidate is credible.

This particular scarecrow looks like it was modelled on Lincoln's amazing Experimental Sonic Machines.

I was on a course for most of today so I missed the helicopter footage of Andy Burnham's train en route to London. Does anyone know if the highlights will be available on iPlayer?

I don't want to make anybody jealous but it's currently a very clement 20 degrees on the Costa del Cleethorpes, with a nice breeze, so was lovely to get out for a run.

I'll be most disappointed with the Daily Star if they don't run with the Burnhamnator tomorrow.

Rare picture captured of Nigel Farage just before his tongue comes out to catch a fly.

"Is that a suntan on your neck?" No Mother, I just haven't washed it.

Bee orchids emerged from the lawn during No Mow May. #tinyjoys

Blowing out my arse, trying to catch an old boy on a mountain bike up a local hill. Only twigged it was an e-bike as we were going down the other side. He must have been 75 if he was a day. E-bikes are ace.

I don't know why I'm washing up. It's supposed to be my day.

Do you think this potato will be alright?

This was a silly idea.

The bloke from Magnum clearly scalped Limahl and was wearing it as a trophy. #TOTP

Performative pretend saxophonists are the worst of all the pretend musicians. #TOTP

My colleague gave me a cider flavoured ice lolly. #tinyjoys

Genuine question, if we did have proportional representation, could Count Binface get enough of the vote to be elected?

Can we stop talking about Makerfield now?

Well, who saw this coming, eh?

I know it was because he was excited for the football but a little lad tooted a vuvuzela at me when I was out on tonight's run and it made me feel strangely validated.

The neckband on my beloved bone conduction headphones has finally snapped after six hours of almost daily use. Arse.

The chap delivering the online lecture I'm working through sounds like Murray from Flight of the Conchords and it is very off-putting.

Couldn't get the grades to get into the non fee paying grammar.

I don't eat meat or dairy, but beyond that not very much aside from sage, after a bout of food poisoning, and throwing up the taste of it all night.

My 18yo son has more or less finished college now so, at a loose end, took it upon himself to empty the food cupboard, dispose of anything out of date and properly organise everything in a sensible fashion. #thekidsarealright

The government won't create a default 20mph speed limit (in England) which will evidentially protect the lives of children, but they are happy to go with a default social media.

I'm in two world cup sweepstakes and I've drawn Tunisia in both. The wrong plucky underdog, alas.

If British children want to argue about their cuisine and its place in the world, then I'm afraid they will have to get an American pen-friend like we did.

Social media didn't radicalise my kids or open them up to abuse, but it did allow them to keep in touch with friends who had moved away and taught one of them to play the guitar.

Stupid Phil Collins earworm. :-(

Off for an eye test lads.

I usually take the opportunity of an England game to go for a bike ride on lovely quiet roads and the time difference from the host nations has messed that right up. Most disappointing.

King Prince Charles is in town. Trying to convince a colleague that his favourite food is swan.

You and me both, love.

Today I shall mostly be eating purple.

Apparently the Bank of England is taking Winston Churchill off banknotes because of "DEI", rather than the standard practice of them being redesigned every ten years.

Some young lad in a pub wanted a selfie with me because he reckoned I looked like Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda.

I went out with people from work last night and I don't have the beer fear that I made an absolute tit of myself. Astonishing personal growth.

I've had over fifty years experience of being a white, heterosexual, cisgender man and I'm reasonably convinced that the police aren't biased against me. I think I'd have noticed by now.

Six sex toys handed into lost property were reunited with their owners? I think I'd rather take the hit to my wallet than ask for my butt plug back.