My wife is out tonight so I'm treating myself to a little princess pamper.

Let it never be said that I'm not open to new ideas.

I feel like a pig shat in my head, Charlie Brown.

How do you know if somebody is a vegan? Don't worry, his colleague will ask him whether he misses cheese, approximately every 15 minutes.

Embracing my inner grandad.

I've just watched A Nightmare on Elm Street with my youngest. I'd forgotten how much the last twenty minutes or so have in common with Home Alone.

*blinks*

Bastard fucking cars, man. Ugh.

I could really have done without the car's exhaust starting to make ominous rattling noises.

If people can't tell the difference between a vegan burger and a beef burger unless the name is changed, then maybe the veggie alternatives are a lot better than the meat industry would lead you to believe.

HELLO WORLD! We’re looking for a very particular guest for our next episode: ‘Close encounters of the *Meh* kind’ In which we explore the general public’s response to the UAP hearings. We’re looking for someone who can discuss this 👇🏻 Fermi’s Paradox and SETI Is anybody out there???

I've made butternut squash and spinach dhal for tea. I give it two minutes before my wife says "oh, bloody hell", having spilled it down her tits.

International Men's Day.

Deep Thought has let himself go.

They say that kids these days are soft, but I bailed on tonight's run because it's too cold, and my lad just got in after being out skateboarding for the last four hours.

I think that some people would queue up to be kicked in the pods if they'd seen it on TikTok.

*Rob Halford voice* RAKING THE LAWN! RAKING THE LAWN!

If you haven't listened to So Disappointed yet then there are enough episodes on Soundcloud for a proper binge listen. There are lots of reasons to be disappointed, this podcast isn't one of them.

Not had a decent pair of clumpy boots in years, but finally bit the bullet and spent my birthday money on these bad boys.

Me laddo has been very busy in the kitchen. This is mochi apparently.

Bugger.

Why are Pan's People cosplaying Mary Poppins style chimney sweeps to the BeeGees? #TOTP

Eno was always the cooler Brian. I can even forgive his involvement with Coldplay. #TOTP

Lost Whamageddon. In November. Fuck you Magic Radio.

Living the dream.

Was my life easier in the nineteen-seventies? Yes. Was I less than eight years old? Also yes. There's a corelation in there somewhere.

They've just played Fairytale of New York on the radio. It's not even halfway through November. Stop Christmassing ffs.

A moment of quiet reflection.

• Racists • Morons • Wankers • Bastards • Cunts

I'm *pretty* sure it's something to do with jet engines and wings.

#ASongOrMovieForTypesOfSoup Mulligatawny of Kintyre.

Just put my cycling tights back on and they're still damp from this morning. 🤢

Doctor Manhattan, except it's James Bond. Blue willy optional, but encouraged.

Somebody has just turned the radio up so that we can better hear the two minute's silence.

I think most of us who cycle have had the odd close pass, but this would be a real brown shorts moment.

Quick, easy, and totally inauthentic, sticky gochujang tofu and rice. We'd run out of soy sauce, so I used Henderson's Relish like I was Sean Bean or something.

There's a lot of politics happening on here tonight. How about some nice non divisive food discourse?

Just sprayed myself with a tester scent in Lush and now I smell like creosote.

As if my own birthdays don't make me feel old enough, my youngest turns 18 today.

First whisky mac of the season.

Darts played during my freshers week. I did not go. #TOTP

It's bad enough when it's your own kids in the school play. #TOTP

I saw Eels play Rock City a couple of years back. They're still fucking brilliant. #TORP

Everyone in the house was getting excited by the northern lights being visible until I pointed out it was a light show at a nearby firework display.

What practical difference would it even make as to whether you were worth a hundred billion or a trillion dollars apart from making you an even more insufferable twat? What is even the point?

Saw a woman wearing a Christmas hat on my way into work this morning. 😑

A wild earworm appears. I can't have heard this in over 40 years before tonight and it suddenly appeared in my brain unbidden.

My hair is thinning so generally keep what's left cropped. I wanted to fully shave it but my wife pointed out that as a skinny bloke I would probably just look unwell.

*mournful harmonica* What were the trees like when you were young?

Jokingly suggested to a colleague that she tuck a paper towel in her top to save getting soup down herself, only she has a low cut top on rather than something with a collar, so had in fact implied she should pop it between her tits.