We were delighted to welcome @annaturley.bsky.social to EVA yesterday. She met with our CEO, Anthea, to discuss future plans and funding for vital community projects, and toured our children's counselling room. A great chance to highlight the impact of our work and the need for continued support.

EVA is thrilled to announce that Anthea Camfield is our new CEO. After 12 years of exemplary service, Richinda Taylor is retiring. We are very grateful for her dedication & hard work & wish her a fulfilling retirement. We warmly congratulate Anthea!

Escalation refers to the intensification of abuse, which can occur either suddenly or gradually. This process may involve a transition to different types of abuse or an increase in the severity of similar behaviours.

Survivors of domestic abuse, are mums at the most difficult end of the parenting spectrum. EVA understand this and deliver You & Me Mum, a programme for mothers which will help you understand how domestic abuse affects you as a parent and how it affects your children.

If you've told them anything that might make you vulnerable, they may use those very experiences against you, inflicting pain once again.

There isn't a definitive list of behaviours that are categorised as coercively controlling. If you sense that someone is trying to exert power or control over you, know that this is unacceptable, and support is available for you.

From an early age, we are frequently taught that jealousy and possessiveness signify true love. However, they do not, they signify an unsafe, unhealthy relationship.

Domestic abuse involves instilling fear and exerting complete power and control within the relationship. They aim to force you to "stay" instead of making you "want to stay."

If you have been a victim of sexual assault, it's important to understand that you are not at fault. Sexual violence is a crime, no matter who committed it or where it took place. Please don't hesitate to reach out for support.

Everyone deserves to feel equally valued in a relationship and to have the freedom to discuss any concerns with their partner. If you are worried or anxious to bring up a topic with them, it raises the question: why?

It's never as simple as "Just Leaving"...

The key difference between "silent treatment" and "no contact" is intention. The "silent treatment" is a manipulative tactic to control or punish, while "no contact" is a protective measure to distance oneself from harm.

The abuser deliberately employs certain behaviours to gain power and control over the situation. Meanwhile, the victim may change their own behaviour in an attempt to appease the abuser, who remains steadfast in their refusal to change.

Domestic abuse is a form of brainwashing. Perpetrators utilise any or all of the tactics mentioned above to exert control over their partner. #lovebombing #coercivecontrol #powerandcontrol #gaslighting #blameshifting #manipulation

Emotional manipulation frequently involves gaining control within a relationship. The primary aim is to leverage that control to dominate the other person in mental, physical, financial, or emotional ways. #manipulation

The research revealed significant connections between exposure to domestic abuse and mental health issues. It’s important to keep in mind that all of these reactions are completely normal, and none of this is your fault. The responsibility lies solely with the abuser for their actions.

When you're swept away by the thrill of a new relationship, it's easy to overlook red flags & warning signs. The person you've encountered may seem "perfect” but many of us tend to ignore that "voice of reason" whispering that something feels off. Remember, your intuition is often spot-on.

People can generally be categorised as either trustworthy or untrustworthy. Relationships with individuals who view trust as a tool for manipulating the truth to serve their own agendas can be harmful to you. They often disregard the consequences their actions have on others.

Being with an abusive partner clouds your judgment, manipulation makes it difficult to see things clearly. The situation can be so overwhelming that staying feels like the easier option. Sadly, the harsh reality is that no matter how deeply you care for someone, you cannot change or fix them.

One of the most revealing red flags is someone who characterises all their former partners as "crazy." #redflags

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. The only difference between the two is with physical abuse you are wearing it on the outside for the world to see and the other is felt deep inside. #emotionalabuse

Christmas with an abuser can be an event that creates horrible situations. Heightened stress, alcohol and substance use, can create a hazardous mix. It's crucial to remain alert about your safety. If possible, remove yourself from the situation and find a safe place to stay.

The Christmas season can be difficult for survivors, abusers may reappear, exploiting their vulnerability. Survivors can feel nostalgic, recalling positive moments of the good times & longing for the those times again. The hoovering tactic often plays on these emotions.

The holiday season should be a time of joy, happiness & Christmas goodwill. But, for many this period can symbolise violence & abuse. Statistics show that incidents of domestic abuse rise during the holidays. If you require free and confidential support, please reach out to us at EVA.

The Christmas season is frequently depicted as happiness, unity, & festivity. But for many survivors, it can pose significant challenges for mental well-being. Set achievable expectations, create boundaries, & practice self-care, so you can concentrate on the elements that genuinely bring you joy.

It's natural for people to disagree, however it's important discussions are respectful & not personal attacks or attempts to undermine the other's self-worth. If you aren't able to express yourself without fearing retaliation, it could be a sign of abuse.

Abusers strategically choose when, where, and who they target, often reserving their abusive behaviour for those closest to them, especially those they profess to love. They maintain a normal appearance in public but display anger once alone with their victim.

Seeking closure from an abusive individual can feel futile, especially you a reasonable, kind, person, you may not get closure this person is abusive & a taker. Providing you with closure would signify the end of the relationship which they’re unwilling to accept.

Spiking when someone puts alcohol or drugs into another person's drink/body without their knowledge and/or consent. Spiking carries a maximum custodial sentence of 10 yrs in England. If the perpetrator also commits a sexual offence against the person they spiked, they will face additional sentences

Those in abusive relationships often struggle to recognise their situation as abusive, especially if it lacks physical violence. They may minimise emotional abuse, believing it less severe than physical harm. Leaving them believing there are no better options available for them.

Mind Games involve efforts to convince someone they are at fault, rendering their perspectives as insignificant or laughable. This is particularly effective when the victim has complete trust in the perpetrator & believes their roles within the relationship are clearly defined & socially acceptable

Telling someone who has experienced abuse "Well, they were nice to me," is victim blaming and not acceptable. No one knows an abuser better than the victim in a relationship with them— absolutely nobody.

Human Rights Day is celebrated globally December 10th. To mark the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Families & communities flourish when women & girls are free from all forms of violence. We can only attain equality & peace by safeguarding the human rights of women and girls #humanrights

Over 1.4 million women experienced domestic abuse in the past year, as reported by the CSEW But, it is believed that fewer than 24% of incidents are reported to the police. If you are experiencing domestic abuse, or you’re not sure if your relationship is safe, please reach out for help and support.

Abusers operate under a distinct set of rules that differ from yours, creating double standards. They manipulate and control you by placing themselves above the very rules they enforce on you. #noexcuse #16days

There are numerous misleading and inaccurate "facts" that many survivors believe as as true, and these beliefs often keep them trapped in unsafe, abusive relationships. #16days

They spread lies about the survivor with the aim of socially isolating them and eliminating any support the survivor has from friends and family. Often, the survivor is unaware of these lies. One such lie is the assertion that you cannot move on, a tactic used to depict the survivor as crazy #16days

Abusers manipulate victims into believing that they’re responsible for the abuser's actions. But the abuser’s actions are always a conscious choice made by them. In a healthy relationship when one partner feels can compromise without resorting to actions that harm the other person. #16days

Abuse or violence of any kind is never the victim's fault. Responsibility always lies with the perpetrator and with them alone. #16days

Domestic abuse changes our perceptions so deeply that we can't clearly see what is going on, we have literally been brainwashed by the abuser. Our reality has been changed to the reality the abuser creates. #noexcuses

Sue and her friends: Sue and her friends typically allocate £10 for each other when purchasing Christmas gifts. However, this year they chose to donate £100 to EVA! We are incredibly thankful and consistently amazed by the generosity of our local community. #thankyou #charity

Abusers often blame their past or others for their behaviour. However there is no excuse for abuse. Abusive behaviour is always a choice made by a perpetrator to hurt others. #noexcuse #16daysofactivism

Excuses are often used to justify abusive behaviours, but none can justify the abuse. It is crucial to recognise that such individuals choose to be abusive, as their actions serve to get them what they want. There are no valid justifications for abusive behaviour. #noexcuse #16days

Abuse is a decision made by an individual to exert power & control over their partner. If your partner is abusive towards you, it doesn't matter if they have a mental illness; they have no right to mistreat you. You deserve a healthy and safe relationship at all times, without exception. #16days

When someone says this, they are not only criticising your response but also attempting to manipulate by dismissing your perspective and how you feel about their actions. This behaviour is a form of gaslighting; gaslighters often claim that their victims are overly sensitive and paranoid. #16days

On Domestic Abuse Awareness Day, a survey conducted by @seacharity.bsky.social & Ipsos UK reveals almost a quarter of UK women 18 plus who encountered economic abuse said it prevented them from leaving abusive partners. Additionally, 42% of these women did not seek any help, information, or advice.

At EVA, we frequently encounter 'reasons' or 'excuses' that people use to justify abusive behaviour. However, there is no valid justification for such actions; abusive behaviour is always a choice made by the perpetrator. #noexcuse #16daysofactivism

16 Days of Activism against Gender Based Violence is a worldwide campaign advocating for the end of violence against women and girls. This annual event commences on November 25th, International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, and concludes December 10th, Human Rights Day.

If love embodies patience, kindness, understanding, and compassion, then it cannot simultaneously be dismissive, cruel, contemptuous, or violent. So, where then is love in abuse? #abuseisnotlove #youdeservebetter

When you genuinely care for them & dedicated time to the relationship you want to see the best in them. You may think your reactions to their hurtful actions are exaggerated. Recognising domestic abuse can be hard if any of these resonate with you remember you do not deserve to be treated poorly.