my work wants us to install an mdm on our personal phones to keep using outlook and teams on them 🙃 looks like i’m actually just unreachable from now on if I’m not at my laptop (I spend a lot of time on construction sites)

tour sisters of salt immediately

“aren’t you happy to be back at work in a normal routine” with nothing but hate in my heart- jump into the puget sound before i throw you myself

🫣

gentle reminder complaining about new people at the gym online does in fact keep some of us from even attempting to go :)

we’re watching burlesque and playing rimworld 2026 is slay

flip it around wicked wiiitch

husband works tn and I pregamed with heated rivalry everyone is in danger

*ahem*

cried MORE this time it does get better

back to the cottage 🥹

update i’m fine just dramatic :) band aid has been applied

chat i posted that then immediately chopped off the tip of my thumb cleaning a blender and now im panicking over how to clean and dress this 😡

heated rivalry is all fun and games until your hockey husband uses broken skate laces as a ribbon

I wish I could like oomfs posts more than once :(

in case you haven’t gotten me anything yet here’s my christmas list: -staub in every color -big dick bottom dilf -$1800 brilliant earth ring pop collab -locked himbo -real life togepi -new socks

how tf did i miss gaga making music under i’m stefani

last work friday of the year everybody scream

made this using work resources and that’s how you create shareholder value

i actually don’t wanna do anything today 😤

I need to fix the broken part of me that makes me want to top everyone shorter than me as hard as I possibly can

not all of you know my first name i’m just “a” to you what crime should i do

it’s wednesday if you didn’t know

sorry if i don’t respond to you it’s just that we’re all inundated with notifications constantly and my monkey brain thinks all phone pings are stress pings at this point

I just think it’s nice :)

dream blunt rotation // dream blunt playlist

issuing a pre-apology to demi and florence bc i switched to apple music in september then back to spotify last week so not an ounce of my obsession with them will be captured :(

so anyway

was it really thanksgiving if you didn’t make out with multiple boys at the dinner table 🫢

so many hard launches today 👀 now who am i going to fuck when my own man isn’t home

i’ve been simmering veggie broth for my friendsgiving soup since 9am these gay boys don’t even know what’s coming

best song ever made if we’re being honest with ourselves

that movie had it all: jonathan bailey shirtless, cynthia erivo hitting insane runs, michelle yeoh scaring the life right out of ariana, the color pink, split screens, at least 3 giraffes

yeah i’ve posted this before but i love a prompt to post lewds show your dick root 😡

back to this, esquie!? a hoot and a half

the boy // the $700 lamp he found at the vintage market that he can’t stop thinking about

guys fine i do have a crush on spice of sugar and spice >:(

good morning internet boyfriends and enemies 💖

still can’t get over demi’s new music that’s my album of the year

toast pic

plank if he was cunty

i love gestrals

1am miso peanut butter cookies are still delicious i win

Nobody told me expedition 33 was a dodging simulator

hello down there

chat do ssri’s affect molly? i keep finding conflicting information and there hasn’t been a real study done (yes I know it’s vvv bad to mix these and serotonin syndrome can happen)

my hockey husbands are so hot

i wish i could use my custom togepi heart emoji here it’s so cuteeeee :(

sf is kinda fun