I really thought someone at TurboTax would’ve looked at the reaction to last year’s commercials and said “No one understands this ‘Taxes is’ thing. They think we’re saying the person in each ad is named Taxes. Look, no one’s wrong here. We took a swing. It didn’t work.” Instead, they doubled down.

Statement from the Major League Baseball Players Association: Why didn’t they just comply?

I’m glad someone finally got through to her. It was either this or be absolutely humiliated in a primary. So I guess the question now is, who’s going to replace… Wait…what’s that sound? By God, that’s Muriel Bowser’s music!

Keep Grogu away from Bryce Harper.

Very happy that someone finally talked Mike Myers out of doing the dumb “Glitch!” thing, which has always ruined what’s otherwise a pretty devastating Musk impression. #SNL

That was maybe the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. Now let’s stop free-climbing. There’s no point. It’s over.

Jesus Christ. What the fuck do Lewis and Bezos think people read this paper for?

I can’t believe those idiots didn’t clear the building.

This is officially the closest that society has ever come to The Running Man.

After a day filled with horror and violence, let’s now gather around the television and watch a man maybe plummet to his death from a Taiwanese skyscraper.

You know it’s going to be bad when grocery stores say “We’re closing at 8. All you snow prep procrastinators are on your own.”

Seeing Yu Darvish retire due to injuries with three years and nearly $50 million left on his contract, and telling the Padres “Guys, don’t even worry about the money. YOU keep it,” is going to make the Lerners so depressed as they write Stephen Strasburg another eight-figure check.

“Ramirez still has three seasons and $69MM remaining on the extension he signed in 2022. This new extension will pay $106MM more over the 2029-32 seasons” This is basically the deal Bryce Harper has been begging for, only to have his GM publicly state he’s no longer elite. Demand a trade, Bryce!

Thoughts and prayers for any Christian conservatives who must decide whether this is horribly blasphemous or actually a pro-Jesus message that might resonate with the masses, and react with the appropriate amount of outrage or enthusiasm.

Imagine having a sports section so great that some upstart competitor’s plan is to simply steal it. Svrluga, Wallace, Janes and Buckner are the only ones left. I hope the reward for their loyalty isn’t Will Lewis handing them Amazon gift cards on their way out the door.

Translation: give us Bryce Eldridge, you cheap fucks. If you’re looking for a promising sign that the Nationals won’t be stuck in rebuild mode forever, Toboni was offered a well-regarded 18 year-old top 100 prospect who has an ETA of 2030, and passed.

The Nationals just tweeted that it’s Truck Day. Which made me remember this video, which includes a Mike Rizzo cameo. The team probably blew its entire 2023-2025 budget on this production. x.com/nationals/st...

I feel bad for Max. He was very “Erica and I LOVE Toronto and want to come back!” And the Blue Jays were like, “Eh…” He’s probably better off waiting to sign and not risk injury. But if he does want to play now, I know a team with a rotation opening that can guarantee he’d be traded to a contender…

I’m still a bit skeptical that a YA-coded Star Trek show for adults was the way to go. But it’s winning me over.

Yeah, this is where I’m at. Does it suck we find ourselves in this position again? Yes. Would it be nice if the Lerners stopped acting like owning an MLB team is a terrible burden and jumpstarted the (now second) rebuild by spending? Yes. But it is what it is. Just grin and bear the ride, I guess.

Anonymous rival exec on the Gore trade: “Fien is a really good bat but probably a first baseman.” Oh no. The Nationals filled a position of perpetual need with “a really good bat.” I guess this was supposed to be a mild swipe at Fien’s long term value. But to me the trade just got much better.

I’ve never seen an SNL promo where the musical guest has more lines than the host. youtu.be/1GIq3L3TmqQ

With the caveat that there’s some disagreement where (or whether) Harry Ford should rank in top 100 lists, for now MLB has him at #42, and it’s kind of nuts that Jose A. Ferrer brought back more top 100 prospects than Gore did.

I’ll take the optimistic view: the team would not have made the hires it has if the plan was to keep kicking the contention can down the road. 2026 was always going to be a bust. 2027 (post-CBA) should—SHOULD—see the Lerners either sell or start to spend. I could see the team contending in 2028.

It’s not the sexiest trade package in the world. I would have preferred sending Gore to a team with a higher-ranked farm system. Or maybe be opportunistic and see if the Yankees are ready to give up on Jasson Dominguez. But taking 25% of the Rangers’ top 20 prospects isn’t nothing.

It’s happening!

I’m still somewhat bullish on a Gore trade. Assuming Toboni’s asking price isn’t insane, I think some GM will cave. Gore for Eldridge straight-up might be the best possible deal if SF is willing. Toboni likely wants multiple prospects for Gore. I’d be happy filling a position of desperate need.

I didn’t hate the Masters of the Universe trailer. That said, He-Man canon isn’t exactly Tolkien-esque in its complexity, but you can easily set a story entirely on Eternia. Which makes it odd that in both movie adaptations, the filmmakers were like “Let’s spend as much time on Earth as possible.”

I thought Kevin O'Leary was shockingly great in Marty Supreme. But after all the Mamdani stuff, it would have been annoying if he’d gotten an Oscar nomination. I continue to be perplexed by the Amy Madigan love. But I’m glad everyone enjoyed the movie, I guess.

Mets fans 24 hours ago: LOL, the Brewers want Williams AND Sproat for Peralta? Fuck that. For Skubal, maybe. MAYBE. Mets fans 12 hours ago: Holy shit, we got Peralta and all it took was Williams and Sproat? Baseball fans are weird about prospects.

Not sure what the exact Traded Pitcher-to-MacKenzie Gore conversion rate is. But if three years of Cabrera brought back the #47 prospect in MLB and one year of Peralta brought back the #30 prospect, I see no reason why two years of Gore can’t end up with Josue Briceño (#33 prospect) as a National.

I’m always up for a good MLB-owners-should-spend-more take. Especially given the current situation in Washington. But the Brewers have made the playoffs seven out of the last eight seasons. It’s *possible* that they know what they’re doing.

I’m glad it looks like Gene will hit his fundraising target. But he shouldn’t fucking have to!

There’s an odd schism happening where some geeks are mad that Man-At-Arms is black and other geeks are like “Bro, I hear you! This sort of casting has to stop! …But also, it’s Idris Elba!” One of the best actors in the world put on this stupid costume for our entertainment. Show some gratitude.

These are pretty good if you can get past the sensation of feeling your teeth dissolve as you eat them.

There was a ton of buzz about Edward Cabrera being traded before it happened. The Brewers are apparently trying to goad the Dodgers and Mets into a bidding war for Freddy Peralta. Meanwhile, here’s a live look-in at Paul Toboni and MacKenzie Gore, and GMs just keep walking past them.

Once on Twitter, someone threw a fit and said that anyone who rooted for snow was selfish because they didn’t care about all the people who would be inconvenienced. A) I’m not a god. I can’t control the weather. The amount of snow we get is completely unrelated to my level of enthusiasm. B) Tough.

Compared to expectations, 7.8% of MLB players identifying as Democrats feels like a huge win, tbh.

As much as I hate the Phillies, I would put Chase Utley in. Especially since he’s currently doing God’s work over in the UK, trying to get those people to care about baseball. David Wright doesn’t deserve it no matter how hard Mets fans try and manifest it. LOLing at the annual Bonds whining.

The snow freakout has officially started. Get to the grocery store tonight for what you need, and then maybe stop by again on Friday just to soak in the ambiance.

Jon Bernthal will be thrilled when he finds out his doppelgänger is playing for his favorite baseball team.

Nationals erasure. In the very least, you’d think Howie Kendrick hitting the most important home run in the history of baseball would warrant some consideration.

Fuck yeah! Nats and Dodgers! Winners of a combined FOUR of the last seven World Series! Just a couple MLB powerhouses! (reads article) Okay, it turns out I misinterpreted the headline. It’s actually about how one team spends too much and the other doesn’t spend at all. I apologize for the error.

Excited this weekend’s potential storm is being called “the big one.” If there’s one thing *everyone* in the D.C. area agrees on, it’s that snow is good. Maybe we can do some sort of group manifestation where we try to make two feet or more happen? Who’s with me? www.zerohedge.com/weather/coul...

It seems weird that any time the NFL puts a playoff game on a streaming service, politicians lose their shit. But in an era of cord cutting when millions of people don’t have cable, the National Championship game being exclusively on ESPN elicits crickets.

I don’t want this guy to die…but at the same time, it seems like the only reason to watch this is to see if he dies.

Whatever. Cry more. When the Yankees or Phillies use their vast financial resources to outmuscle smaller-market teams and sign top free agents: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! When the Yankees or Phillies get outmuscled by the Dodgers or Mets with top free agents: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

Code 3 is a surprisingly great film. It could’ve easily been the paramedic version of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Instead, it manages to be unrelenting in both gore and death, while also being a comedy. Rainn Wilson’s worked steadily after The Office ended, but it still feels like Hollywood squandered him.

When you’re bored with SimCity and start doing weird shit to amuse yourself.