You have (official) OG Johnny Storm and new Doom on stage and you skip acknowledging the death of the (official) OG Doom. You can go fuck yourselves. Julian McMahon deserved a fucking mention. I’m genuinely upset by this. #oscars

The SNL listings are AF in the UK. That’s the OSCAR NOMINEE TEYANA TAYLOR episode, without a name.

Starting my birthday month by meeting Jeff freaking Goldblum, can anyone beat that?

If I have to work before I see Scream 7, and it’s even remotely spoiled for me, I will be going Ghostface myself. And as a Dewey fan, I have a LOT of rage built up.

I cried actual tears??? What the fuck is wrong with me? That and Gale’s “you killed my best friend” made me genuinely cry this watch? I am so fucking done.

I have reached Scream V on my rewatch prep for VII and I am not ready. Jamie knows Dewey dies, but doesn’t know which film, and I’m trying to keep it a surprise. Jamie also loves Jack Quaid, so will be delighted to see him. Wish me luck not giving it away this time!

Is it any wonder millennials don’t answer their phones when we grew up with Scream? We’re not rude, we just grew up watching a bunch of teenagers dying after answering the phone to the wrong person.

Wuthering Heights is so aggressively mediocre that if it wasn’t for the insane anachronistic costume and set design, it’d be completely forgettable. Please demand better from your bizarre, horny movies.

I’m gonna need Jenny Slate to play Sticks then.

My brother has just suggested that the reason Amanda Seyfried uses so much unnecessary vibrato when she sings is because she is using sonar. Anyway, now she’s my fancast for Rouge the Bat.

Spotify, if you’re generating a playlist for me based on my listening patterns of songs from the musicals, and it’s 90% movie versions, how is THIS one of the only stage versions you include? And this is why AI is stupid.

Maya and I nailed it. 👉👉 And once again, I absolutely love that this show proves how talented all these millennial girlband and boyband singers actually are. WE ALWAYS KNEW, FUCKERS. #MaskedSingerUK

A little behind, but that was an awesome reveal! That was so cheeky! I thought the voice was so much younger! #MaskedSingerUK

So, #MaskedSingerUK finale. Moth is absolutely Keisha from Sugababes. I’m not sure on Toastie. I think Conkers is Barney Walsh, and should have gone out.

And everyone with taste liked that. 🥰

I will however accept Plied and Prejudice as an alternative, because it was one of the most ridiculously fun nights at the theatre I’ve had. Have you ever seen five tipsy Aussies playing twenty characters, in an immersive theatre environment where you’re encouraged to yell CUNT? It’s glorious.

My Valentine’s weekend plans are to reenact this scene from Barbie. youtu.be/9TXfU9cSS24?...

OH I AM SAVED. Actual, good vampire content has dropped for Friday the 13th. 🥰🥰🥰

Thank you AO3, for informing me someone commented on one of my old Vampire Diaries fics at *exactly* the point where I am looking for a new/old ship and am in extreme danger of hurting myself again. I need to watch Starfleet Academy or I need a new Boys or IWTV trailer before I do something stupid.

Can I make a suggestion for The Mummy 4 as someone who had a different bi panic movie from that same era? You fix the criminal oversight of The Mask of Zorro as an insanely sexy adventure movie, and you put Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta Jones in as their rivals.

James Van Der Beek, who starred in the teen drama series "Dawson’s Creek," has died at 48

Watching Argylle again with my brother, after we watched the Kingsman films the past few nights. My brother, who guessed the twist in the first episode of Luther within thirty seconds, has not twigged that this is set in the same universe yet despite the VERY OBVIOUS SHOTS OF THE WHISKY.

I would like to take this moment to smugly say that even during that summer when everyone tried to make Kid Rock’s All Summer Long the anthem of the summer, I fucking hated it and him. 😊

That half time show was absolutely outstanding, totally worth staying up till half 1 in the morning. Bad Bunny smashed it!

As a Brit, the Superb Owl is so funny to me. You boys out there in your little tights, taking half an hour to play a fifteen minute quarter because you need a little sit down. Bless your hearts.

Is it possible Toastie is Anastasia? #MaskedSingerUK

I’m just gonna point out that this was the $150 million Netflix rom-com from three years ago that got cancelled because of the backlash over the budget. And originally it was going to star Scarlett Johansson, Owen Wilson (who’s still on board) and Michael Fassbender. But NO, I lost that!

I’m not even mad about that reveal, because I love that dude too! #MaskedSingerUK

Conkers is making me think Barney Walsh. He’s part of a “legacy”, the sports hints could be gladiators, his Dad can sing but he can’t. #MaskedSingerUK

After someone suggested Arctic Fox was Anton, that’s also who I’d had in mind, so I was double right! Add this to the fact I’ve said Moth was a Sugababe since day one and I’m smashing this season. #MaskedSingerUK

Haven’t live skeeted tonight, but I got Monkey Business right. I recognised that accent from Foundations. 👉👉 #MaskedSingerUK

Drop an alien that’s not from Star Wars or Star Trek.

Whimsy

You’re mad He-Man has pronouns, Teela is played by a Latina and Man At Arms is played by a black man. Yet I haven’t seen one single complaint from those people that Skeletor is played by an alleged sex offender. You know, an ACTUAL issue.

Your Monster. 😭

Just watched Fantastic Four again, and fuck, I am so worried about Reed in Doomsday. I am so attached to this portrayal, and there were so many idiots complaining about it. I don’t want to lose very clearly autistic Reed to make him more palatable.

Created a new reaction image with my favourite mug and my cat. 😊 I foresee it getting plenty of use.

It’s been rough, but I finished with one of my favourite comfort films. #LastFourWatched

Can someone explain to me how the same people who claim nobody can take a joke are the people who genuinely believe Tatiana Maslany saying “I said no to Disney, because I was really mad because of woke feminists stuff!” on a COMEDY podcast is her confirming she’s not coming back as She-Hulk?

Men asking who wants a Spider-Woman movie after Madame Web proves that men really don’t know shit about these characters.

I think Monkey Business might be a singer, but it’s not her first job. A singer would know her range and that wasn’t in her range. #MaskedSingerUK

If fatphobia isn’t real, please explain how come when my slimmer brother went to have an eye test for migraines today, he had two extra tests performed to check it was nothing suspicious, but when I did the same, I was given the basic test? Again, mine literally were symptoms of a brain tumour.

Heh-Heh

Not even kidding, literally just giggled to myself again remembering the “she had a butt that seemed to say ‘hello, I’m a talking butt’”. Every single time since I first saw it that’s got me. A great film.

Arctic Fox: I don’t know drag race queens, but yeah, one of them. Yak: That sounds like Reece Shearsmith fucking about. Toastie: Alison Hammond? I think there’s a hint at early morning and Loose Women. #MaskedSingerUK

Marcel The Shell With Shoes On is on iPlayer in the UK, and I’m gonna need all Brits who’ve not seen it to watch it yesterday. It’s so charming, so moving and in a world that’s so cruel, it’s so uplifting and warm. But y’know, make sure you’ve got tissues.

I’m still so bitter that they didn’t give Legends the same goodbye season that Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl and Superman and Lois got. I would have taken a ten episode goodbye season. I was ready, we all were, I just wish I’d had a proper chance to say goodbye to my goofballs.

After watching Dogtooth on ITVX, it suggested Van Wilder as a “similar film”. I now worry that it does the same the other way round and that Ryan Reynolds fans are having nightmares.