Jerry Rig Everything is one of the most purest souls. Ever.

I couldn’t upload the full clip, but I think Itty Bitty (her name is Sophia. Y’all will call her Itty Bitty. Ain’t shit changed.) likes her new gift.

This man is living the best of lives. MAGA is reading about how their guy was witness to infanticide to a child that was possibly his. See how we not the same?

Here’s my Christmas gift to y’all. The smoothest, most effortless & stylish white man to ever ride a skateboard in my opinion. Wade Desarmo. Canada produces them at an astonishing rate. @coachfinstock.bsky.social knows ball.

Will never. And I mean NEVER. Tire of Ralphie whoopin Fargus’s ass & cursing him out at the same time in front of not only the hood, but the hoes as well. He didn’t even lose respect when he cried in front of his mama afterwards because the hood was like “aye man…ma dukes had to get him right?!?”

A SHOCKING AMOUNT. One turned out to be from Nikki Haley’s niece I hooked up with 13 years ago at a bar here in Georgia. The gift that keeps on giving…me reminders that I NEVER want to be back out here.

Itty Bitty cleaned up!…and so did I lowkey.

Like I said. When it comes to my lady? Whether it’s Christmas, her birthday, Mother’s Day or Tuesday…I have a situationship with the dramatic.

This was tweeted by a man who bust a whole nut by force during a battleship tour, was tackled to the ground & then told to never return. Doomed to an existence of “You’re the nigga that beat his meat around strangers on a battleship?”

Best part? Even MAGA Minaj knew not to come at the juggernaut that is Mariah Carey. Who might have the sexiest intoxicated face I’ve ever seen. Nick Cannon. Dude, totally understand.

I still remember being 4, watching A Christmas Story, seeing the scene near the end where the folks at the Chinese restaurant singing Deck The Halls (that would make 1986.) & everyone going “this shit racist as fuck & ain’t gonna age well!” It’s 2025. I’m 43. My family was not wrong. Still icky.

Ah, the mall scene in A Christmas Story. Or as I like to call it? Happy hour starts at 10. Tell Santa what you want, get on this slide & fuck off you little piss smelling twerp!: the musical.

So I'm thinking of making a special kind of eggnog tomorrow. I have Crown Royal Apple in case I fuck up the eggnog though. Oh, y'all thought I was gonna give a fuck about THIS? From the folks that voted for it? So I'm thinking...cinnamon sticks for a little razzle dazzle.

If you grew up in the Tri-state area like I did? He been letting y'all know this since the 70s, but noooo. A 3rd of America told us to do our research on shit we researched & are now blocking all of us asking why they voted for a murderous, carnie, fraud committing pedophile.

Did the porn bots regroup & re-invade the skyline on some "with our powers combined, we are Captain Fap it!" Shit? Listen, Boris & Svetlana bots. I"m mutuals with more than a few OF folks & Sex workers. With opinions, creativity & unique expressions of self y'all don't have. Stop wasting my time.

And every penny whoever does the shots on their vile fucking faces has ever earned. I'm in a giving mood, what can I say.

Been asked "What kind of texts do you & pops share?" Now while I have the occasional funny meme? Pops will just randomly be like...

Nothing like Home Alone reminding me of the twitter thread @bostonjerry.bsky.social did explaining why Kevin's dad had that shit on.

The quicker folks realize this? The quicker this country can get back on the right foot.

IT'S UP!

If you (like a lot of people it seems) could use something to light some Christmas spirit in you, this Def made me feel some

He deserves all this and more.

He deserves this at the very least. I'm talking a subatomic level. At the most? He deserves every penny Pam Bondi & Kristi Noem & their families have ever earned & ever will earn. Happy Holidays, Kilmar. You deserve it all. search.app/Epg5h

@justintyper1.bsky.social just realized you changed your pfp. Don't you ever do that without giving me notice again. Not tryna be like ""WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" without notice. Lol.

The kinda wild part? I mean aside from him being next to someone who committed infanticide on a child that there's a possibility was his? That shit was WILD. This man is ratings obsessed, but you could hear a silent fart in the oval office when you ask him how his show last night went.

Luring him out of office with the gayest Andrew Lloyd Weber songs you’ve ever heard.

Remember how Ralphie's dad was portrayed as a hard boiled man in A Christmas Story only to have a thing for the dramatic with how he got Ralphie that BB rifle? Well, in regards to Itty Bitty's new pink iPad, case & screen protector? I'm keeping that tradition alive in this MF!

Nah, but seriously. Who got their butt ate/ate some butt instead of watching pedophile pitstop try to give himself a blowjob at the Kennedy center? Asking for strictly democracy saving purposes & for me.

Proud of you patriots along with myself that chose eating your partners butt or getting your butt ate by your partner...hell, even someone you KINDA trust to eat your butt/get your butt ate by instead of watching Captain Syphilis here for making this possible.

I like to call this picture... "Call me up to the main roster. I'm like your furniture you're too invested in to get rid of to satiate your partner with bad taste in upholstery...you can't get rid of me."

I can't think of anything more anti hip-hop than a swastika piece.

The reason I don’t work around old man. He decides “Ipad is pillows. No touches iPad. Don’t lose finger doing stupids.”

Hope your cups are filled with the alcohol of your choice. If you no longer drink? May it be filled with what you like. If you do? Your vision is compromised & the glass says “Native” with the a replaced with a silhouette of the state of Georgia. There’s your gift. You’ll be aight.

They responded to nearly EVERY tweet about that letter & other files. You guys, TMZ, Popbase…if you guys tweeted about it? There was the DOJ trying to tweet through it with their own version of community notes…which were flat out lies that actually got community noted.

“You will be visited by 3 spirits” but it’s Kristi Noem dressed as Marie Antoinette, then a fire fighter & the third is a grinning Lauren Boebert in rodeo attire warming up her wrists.

Just gonna sum up the Trump administration in a single picture.

Hell of a speed run courtesy of an administration that’s anti DEI & hired solely white people based on “merit” instead of something silly like knowing how to do the job they’re assigned or applied for.

This turned into an endeavor that became some of the most fun raids I’ve had in a while. It…it got emotional.

Lemme play Diablo for a bit. Y'all be cool til I get back. ✌🏽

Can't trust anyone that calls that body part "Snatch". "Cooter" is a dangerously close second.

Aren't these the same people that said D.C. is a crime ridden city? (They currently have a 30 year low on crime.) Nothing ruins that like unbanning guns! (Which is a ploy to keep the military in the streets for president needle dick.)

Bari Weiss's previous "reporting" on CECOT is somehow only the second most ghoulish thing I've read today

There ain't no hateration, holleration, in this Noncery...

Mans was sounding like RFK Jr, sipped some water & got cooked by being compared to the Marco Rubio water moment. Cold game.

I feel like it's a combo of Epstein & the Trump curse. Colby Covington came to the octagon being a trump mascot & got his jaw broke.

I'm so glad that passport form factors are coming back to foldables & I'm surprised that Apple is gonna be the first to pick up where Google & Oppo left off. Hell, Samsung got wind & now they're doing passport form factors. This ain't a bad first attempt.

I don't think I've ever seen a Supreme Court justice write themselves into a corner & for the life of them try to figure out how to write themselves out of it.

I cannot. I refuse. If there's no online menu? Or whoever I'm eating with is like "let's just see what they have!" Blocked. I can be childish too.