I do enjoy a weaponised umbrella

Benny should travel with the Bulls

I wonder how many Playboy bunnies were foreign intelligence assets

I'm not paying attention to the plot of this 80s sexploitation movie im watching

i saw something nasty in the woodshed

Widget the World Watcher abandoned us 🙃

you can tell they just patched february 29th in and never bothered to actually fix the bug

Remember that nuclear physicist who was assassinated?

I need to cry a bit, but there is no cry. So I am going to rewatch the first episode of The Leftovers. 🥹

We are due for a new alien autopsy video

This brain organoid stuff is really going to be a thing.

"Warning: you will not live long enough to deliver the payload."

Tell Bill Clinton to go and inhale

I think I want to write some stories again, even if nobody reads them.

i just heard them censor robotusin in a song

Waiting for a package I fell asleep. Postman knocks and I wake in panic. I rush to the door, tripping on the way, hitting the floor and taking damage. "Here I am!" I exclaim cheerfully as I open the door and collect the package.

Sycophants

I always place things on top of other things so they don't get tainted by "the surface"

One thing my partner will not let me have is a chainsaw and I am grateful for this.

Because hypergravity. 🙆

I could eat my way out of a gingerbread house so easy

Set my wallpaper to be sexy ladies but it's showing me landscapes

In some of the earliest stages of societal collapse criminal organisations will quickly fill the power vacuum left by official governments. Arguably, they may do a better job.

Lookit this happy cat

My psychiatrist literally told me to play more video games

Can she do it? Can she weld America back together? "Acetylene Girl" (1976), Bill Randall

Jokey Smurf is best Smurf

I don't understand what this but it's amazing

Shed skin into other skin. Skin is called clothes.

Hmm.

How is Oxis (musician) so good I don't understand. 🥹❤️

Sadness punches and you deflect with some homebrew martial art you've mastered after years of practice. Again, sadness punches. Again and again. And you keep deflecting. Next day, bruised, you stand up and wince in anticipation before sadness even needs to throw a punch. Set your feet. Deflect.

Terminal 5 active.

i'm only ever 3 clicks away from an image of katy perry celebrating holi

the cats have lost their grasp on reality

Don't hear much about Lady Godiva any more

my powers are literally equal to those of the most powerful warlock on earth

would you prefer to eat a neanderthal or cro-magnon

Name your saves "autosave"

In an absurdist world, we need an absurdist hero. We need Roger. We need Roger Rabbit.

I love this video so much.😂⚡

I like, think up amazing things but then I look and discover that entire scientific fields have already been studying it for 400 years

New Queen of Florida just dropped 👑

Upside down keyboard is an interesting thing

Seeing regular advertisements for tourism to the USA: "Kids tend to like it here"

Today's "Something You Might Not Know" is... Joss Whedon wrote Speed (1994)

The owls are not what they seem

Good morning

Space is so freaky man, like... It's just silent and cold and devoid of light. Just an emptiness.