6yo’s annotations on the pamphlet he found at Mass today

6yo telling me that the word “napkin” means “a family of rest”

[watching the end of The Lion King when Simba defeats Scar] 8yo: the king has returned 6yo: and the knave is dead

6yo telling me about his dislike of the letter X because it is a “disrespectful letter”: “It doesn’t have its own sound, it just steals from two other letters”

6yo says he wants to be a lawyer when he grows up Me: Do you know what a lawyer is? 6yo: Yes. A lawyer helps other people find loopholes. And I’m very good at finding loopholes

Just paraphrasing the story of Joseph and his brothers to the kids at bedtime and couldn’t get through it without tearing up

8yo watching Aladdin, where it’s explained that you can’t wish for more wishes: “I would wish for more genies”

3yo daughter now doing this thing where every time we finish a movie together and the credits song starts playing she’ll say ”Daddy, dance with me!” and pull me up off the couch to start twirling

Devil on the mountain: All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me American evangelicals: Deal

3yo daughter has started exclaiming “what the heg!”

Anti-human, anti-life; corrosive of sociality, civility, decency, dignity, piety, and fear of God; cynically contemptuous of truth in its abject nihilism; a stain on Christian witness for those who make themselves complicit—the cancerous rot of MAGA must go.

“Rats are haters.” —3yo daughter

“Guy who has strong opinions about the Super Bowl halftime show” is such a funny character. Best case scenario it’s a good performance and you go “that was mildly entertaining.” How do you get worked up about it on like a personal level lol

Missed the AI Dunkin ad, looked it up. The slop is getting desperate, it can’t carry on like this. We’re going to win this thing.

Me: why are you being fussy? 3yo daughter: it’s hard to say

3yo daughter (pointing at elderly man in a cartoon): he’s old Me: what about me, am I old? 3yo (annoyed like I’m acting ridiculous): noooo, you’re new! (beat) 3yo: but you’re getting old. then I’m going to need a new daddy

Kids’ illness rallying in its second week

Share a TV show you love with 3 seasons or less.

8yo on God’s providence: “He’s playing wizard’s chess against Satan. That’s basically how the universe works.”

The long 1990s have come to an end

Thinking about this some more, I think the loss of honor as a category is tied up with the widespread erosion of memory. To value honor or consider an act as honorable requires a higher vantage of time that transcends immediate utility and embraces (1/4)

[Reposting from the other place:] What’s striking to me is the total disappearance of “honor” (even in a misplaced sense) as a conceivable good or motive in public life. True virtue even more so but I feel like the decline into short-term private pleasure-seeking has been so precipitous that (1/2)

8yo is telling riddles and demanding that every guess be supported with reasons for its proposal. He keeps rejecting my guesses for being insufficiently argued prescinding from questions of correctness.

When I threaten war over not winning the Nobel Peace Prize, the committee will finally see how wrong they got it

Vance currently putting up Jordan numbers in this department

Anti-human, anti-life; corrosive of sociality, civility, decency, dignity, piety, and fear of God; cynically contemptuous of truth in its abject nihilism; a stain on Christian witness for those who make themselves complicit—the cancerous rot of MAGA must go.

Merry Christmas!

Found some stand-up bits I wrote and recorded (just audio) a few years ago and got surprised by some the jokes I’d forgotten… surreal experience

Don’t really care where they’re from, as long as they’re safe for the baby

The Shining… just spend the winter at home

Princess

Seeing 7yo reading Harry Potter by nightlight after lights out

Wake Up Dead Man: A Theological Mystery

3yo daughter has gotten so into Pokémon (thanks to her older brothers) that she is now saying things like “yellow evolves into red” when we approach a traffic light

Idea: a novel composed entirely of epigraphs

Daughter turning 3 (today): “Am I big? Can I reach things?”

5yo’s joke: “What do two half-teeth make? A cavity, because two halves make a hole.”

5yo: did you bring my sunglasses? Me: to go swimming? no 7yo (wryly): [Brother’s name] is accustomed to luxury

Update: “Whenever I see Satan I’m gonna throw him in Papa’s pool so his disguise gets ruined.”

5yo’s joke: “Why was the football a bad sport? It kept getting kicked out of the game!”

7yo is explaining that after being a sophomore one moves on to become a “hardmore”

“If I ever see Satan I’m going to chop him with a jackknife.” —5yo son

Had been looking for something all over the house, remembered to say a prayer to St. Anthony, and found it literally 5 seconds later

If you’re so inclined, check out my new story in Gulf Stream Magazine gulfstreamlitmag.com/2025/05/03/f...

Went in the other day to wake up 2yo from a nap and she was nowhere to be found. Searched the whole room before she emerged bleary-eyed from the closet. Now every day after we say goodnight she will migrate to the closet (shutting the door) to sleep and cackle with glee when we find her there.

the state of peaceful happiness

You’re just giving the bread false hope… it’s toast