I've made the official decision to transition. I am switching from being "Genderfluid" to being "TransWoman", my pronouns will be She/Her from now on and I do plan on transitioning once I get out of my current living situation.

Not gonna lie, I seriously have not been feeling okay lately. Between being disrespected by people I thought were friends, feeling like I have to dance on eggshells or landmines whenever I talk to someone, and the abject failure of my twitch streaming career has left me feeling completely --

One of my best friends is in dire need of support and is risking losing everything because of the stupid government of Texas just being a regular bunch of slack-jawed dimwitted lethargic morons. gofund.me/d5cc12d2

Let's get 'er goin' with Papa Barks!

I am afraid I have absolutely terrible news. I need a lot of help now, from everyone. I currently have NO CLEARED DONOR for transplant and we only have a short period of time to get this done. Please SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE AND PLEASE TRY TO DONATE! All the information is at iggyland.org

There's a reason why I love watching this guy on YouTube. Spits straight up facts on these trade schools. youtu.be/WYJDBDZURro?...

Birthday is in 2 days... Should be happy, but I'm getting up there in age. And the FOMO of age is starting to hit in. Feeling like I missed out on a lot of things in my life and I kind of want to get out there and actually DO shit. Can't right now because of family. About to say 'fuck the family'

Also I received an email from my workplace about 4-5 days after they sent the original email, and were able to find additional funding so my job is secure--for now, at least. Fuck this current government administration. I've seen headless chickens act in a more organized manner than this nonsense.

Considering my friends keep falling the scams and getting hacked on discord... DO NOT CLICK ON ANY LINKS you receive from anyone or see in channels--ESPECIALLY if they claim its a Free ANYTHING. Game, money, cards, whatever. Ignore them all. They're all phishing scams.

Considering what Zuckerburg just did for his 'content changes' where he is completely going full-on hate-speech against anyone that isn't straight or cis? Whatever chances I had of thinking about getting a Quest 3 or Quest Pro? Poof. Gone. I'm not going to support someone who hates on identity.

Had a blast in the stream today. Had so much fun hanging out with @thomasdoebi.bsky.social but when I checked my email... ...I'm going to be unemployed at the end of the month. As most folks who know me knows, I work as a Caregiver for my younger brother, who is special needs. -->

After spending around almost 12 hours working on my Nebula the Foxigen avatar--the entire project BROKE because I tried to optimize the fucking thing. Love the avatar, but holy jesus fucking christ is this thing a piece of shit to optimize. Now I have to nuke it and start over.

New Protogen look.

For the third time this year I had to reinstall steam because an update they pushed through caused the files to become corrupted somehow. C'mon, Valve.... You have more competence than this.

One of my favorites from last year. Mixing practical lighting effects and invisible edits.

Thanks, Discord. I fucking hate it.

I'm still abouts, just goddamned awful about posting on social media. Stream and channel have been greatly improving. Focusing on just what I want over the metric helps so much with it. My community is small, but I prefer it that way. Makes it easier for me to connect to my viewers more personally

Just taking it one day at a time.

I'm tired of chasing the algorithym and numbers on Twitch. Been streaming for 7+ years and the only thing I have to show for it is an average of 1 viewer over that entire period of time. If things don't improve I'm just going to cut the cord.

Remember to always listen if a friend is saying they're not okay. Never write off what they're saying or feeling or anything as just a 'phase' or 'mood'. You never know if what they're going through could be some kind of panic attack or a cry for help they can't vocalize. Listen. Always.

THE FLUFFO LYCO BOI IS LIVE! Go say HI! www.twitch.tv/aster_polaris

My friend is doing his first-ever stream! GO VISIT AND SAY HI! Check them out over at www.twitch.tv/aster_polaris ! DO IT!

Starting to come up to a crossroads. Do I prioritize my mental health and abandon those I care about in the so act of being selfish? Or do I continue to allow myself to deal with their drama in order to focus on trying to provide to them by sacrificing my own well-being? A choice only I can make.

Feeling very feminine today.

Jury Duty is over. I AM FREE!!!

ᵃˡˢᵒ ˢᵗᵒᵖ ᵉⁿᵃᵇˡᶦⁿᵍ ᵐʸ ᵈᵘᵐᵇ ˡᵃᵗᵉ ⁿᶦᵍʰᵗ ᶦᵈᵉᵃˢ NEVER!

Snap into a SlimJimOgen! ᵃˡˢᵒ ˢᵗᵒᵖ ᵉⁿᵃᵇˡᶦⁿᵍ ᵐʸ ᵈᵘᵐᵇ ˡᵃᵗᵉ ⁿᶦᵍʰᵗ ᶦᵈᵉᵃˢ

Feeling better today. Morale of the story: Sometimes you just need to cry to let out the pressure in your mind. Its what I did last night, and it helped alleviate almost all of that depression and anxiety. About to head off for Jury Duty here in about 30ish minutes. Wish me luck.

Mental health is deteriorating rapidly. I've experienced anger, sadness, and now I'm having a depression episode today. I do not operate well under pressure or anxiety. All because of Jury Duty. I hate my life right now. Just wish this would all go away so I could just be left alone...

Today's turning out SO well! Got into the bath/shower late. Go out late. Because of a fucking dress shirt. Uber guy gets here PRECISELY on time... and the gate to my community refused to open. The operator also wouldn't let him in. So my training had to be cancelled.

Feeling stressed out. Trying to keep things in check. This week is going to be HORRIFICALLY awful for my mental health, so please be aware if I seem snippy or provocative, its because work and jury duty both decided to invade my life this week.