more and more people are saying this about my cats

they want to go hang out in the garage so badly

focus. drive. ambition. claws.

toasting that marshmallow

i live off of my disability payments, and i've spent months trying to save up for a big purchase. after my recent medical crises, i am now just $1700 away from my goal of saving up $750.

i remember reading about ancient civilizations that sacrificed children to imaginary gods and being so thankful to live in a world where we no longer surrender our kids to invisible higher powers

hey remember how in the early covid days we discovered there was basically a lever labeled "children in poverty" that the government could just switch to "off"? and later both parties agreed that it was very important to turn back on the childhood poverty feature?

Rehabbers are brilliant

Sultan wants to know — Does your kitty prefer solitude or do they like having a cuddle buddy? Drop your answer in the comments below! 😺💙🐾

this man smiles like a batman villain

my buddy's wife went through some post-partum mental health changes and tried to secretly take their newborn out of the country

fidget spinner for fidget cat

errbody in this bitch getting sleepy

“You rang?”

preserving this "sending lots of ice agents back to minnesota and elsewhere will be fine this time" take for posterity

tofu knows dnd day is ideal for getting belly rubs if he just lays on the maps

my dnd party finally finished up their work in the town of serpent's reach, and they are all set to take off on the spelljammer adventure this was all meant to be a brief prelude to. i told the party about the arena battle they avoided but now they want to go back to town and get captured

my & garfunkel? simon.

i'm still having difficulties focusing my eyes, but today i say 'fuck it' and run a very nearsighted dnd session. the party has successfully resurrected a dead t. rex, killing about a dozen guards and their armored dinosaur mounts in the process. today's session determines how/if the party moves on

my pops tried to introduce me to scifi by having me read asimov's 1950s foundation trilogy when i was 8 💙📚

noticing (respectfully)

tofu wonders if you have noticed how rubbable his belly is right now

1: hey you wanna eat an entire pack of string cheese? 2: eww, no, of course not 1: what if i deep fried them all and gave you marinara to dunk them in? 2: fuck yeah, i'll eat a pound of that to hold me over until my triple cheeseburger arrives

me: over the course of seven years every single atom in your body will be replaced. we are walking, talking ships of theseus! cop: so...? me: so no officer, *i* didn't drunkenly crash a burning parade float onto the set of hannah montana

i am calling for a moratorium on things happening for at least two weeks. nothing newsworthy for 14 days so we can all catch our breath before the world starts up again

tofu is upset that i called for an early bedtime

my buzzy little lap gremlin

cuddlebug weather today

the forehead smooch wanter

medical conditions i have tried to "walk off": 1. pneumonia 2. appendicitis 3. a bleeding head wound 4. broken ankle 5. broken foot (twice)

the last ten minutes of this neurology appt have been the doctor reading my case notes in complete silence

this uber ride's 00s pop soundtrack (banger after banger after banger) has forced me to confront some feelings about having an oldies station successfully targeting me and what that indicates about my age

crossfaded! on the flight home

wiggles wanted to be packed

had to cut the visit to my parents short because i snagged a crucial neurology appointment, then had to cut it short two more times to get back to minnesota ahead of the oncoming blizzard.

everyone say hi to wiggles!

fidget spinner for fidget cat

on one hand, i feel bad laughing at tesla's face, which is a result of having a fang surgically removed. on the other hand, he does keep acting all dignified while holding this face, which is objectively hilarious

tesla is so regal

sedated! at the airport

love that daggerheart has so much advice about how to play a disabled character. i gotta start making more disabled characters to play as #ttrpg

this is charles, my aunt's deaf and blind pupper companion. he follows me around the house to get more pets, occasionally bumping into furniture or walls, then course correcting like a furry roomba

from his lair, the dragon gives a menacing yawn

my folks are set to take home the puppy pulling on the rug in this video

ok so the ophthalmologist decided that my eyes very suddenly stopped being able to focus because i have the wrong prescription for my glasses. can't accurately measure my new prescription because my eyesight was in constant flux during the exam, which i've been assured is "fine" and "close enough"

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY PET PHOTO REQUEST i am getting a battery of medical tests on my eyes and brain today and i'm nervous as hell. by sending your cutest pet pictures, you can stave off my anxiety for 30 seconds

just realized that if/when i go in for neurosurgery, i will no longer have any major organs that a doctor hasn't handled, and holy shit does that thought give me the wiggens.