Yay!! Spring has sprung. The Royal Star Magnolias are out. I saw some forsythias today too.

My mom could pick a fight with anyone, anywhere, anytime on any topic. She’s been gone for 13 years and she’s still picking fights. This morning my kid found an old note she wrote for him with instructions for playing rummy and we have been arguing about her made-up, bullshit “rules” all day. 😆😆😆

My yelp review for a detached retina: Zero stars. Cannot recommend. And the worst part is I can’t fly or go to high altitudes now so I gotta cancel the Everest trip I had planned with @marchurboston.bsky.social. 🤬

WHERE IS EVERYBODY???!!!

Soup of the Day = Homemade Chicken Salad with celery, dried cranberries, seedless red grapes and crushed, candied pecans stirred up with equal parts mayo, Greek yogurt and poppyseed salad dressing. Um, YUM!

These activity restrictions are driving me insane. I don’t know what’s worse, having to remain face down 90% of the time or having my best friend text me every 50 minutes to remind me to “Assume the position!”

I got a wristband at a doctor appointment today that literally says “In the event of severe traumatic injury, do not airlift this patient or her eyeball will explode.” So—I get to die at the scene of the accident, I guess. Beats having an eyeball explosion.

My new massage therapist and I are going to have to establish a safe word. I tried ‘Ow!’ and ‘Stop!’ but apparently those are the Chinese words for ‘More of that, please.’ 🥴

Pam Jamz for a Saturday night drive;

A public service announcement for anyone with a health care professional in the family: It’s rude (not to mention stupid) to ask for free medical advice and then ignore it. And if you know you’re going to ignore it before you even ask, do us both a favor and don’t bother asking in the first place.

The current presidential administration is practicing revisionist history by removing references they don’t like from our museums, monuments and government websites but at least my regional transit authority is getting it right:

Well, well, well. Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, (the pedophile formerly known as prince) has been arrested and is currently in custody in the UK. I hope he sings like a bird. Come on, Andy. Name names. Make it impossible for Pam Bondi to protect you know who.

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood and someone is practicing their tuba outside. Every dog in a 2 mile radius is losing its mind. Is there such a thing as a Sousa hound? Are you sure??

#BWG friends— If you’re interested in reading a 700 word piece of flash fiction, DM me. Critiques not required, but appreciated.

Soup of the day: Chili. And yes, that’s sweet corn in there. Come at me, haters. I stand by my decision.

Soup of the Day: Albacore Chowder Baby potatoes diced 1 can of Albacore drained 2 cans of evaporated milk A handful of instant mashed potato flakes Old bay seasoning Capers Dill Would have added celery and carrots, but didn’t have any.

So, if the GOP gets its way, we’ll not only need a valid ID but also proof of citizenship to vote? Seems unnecessarily onerous for voters. But more importantly, why put our volunteers at the polling places in the position of having to decide whether or not a birth certificate or passport is legit?

I’ve given it a lot of thought and I believe it’s time to delete my Silver Singles account and join Carbon Dating instead.

Let’s file this one under Pamnation oughta know better: When you take 2400 mg of ibuprofen one day and donate blood the next day, maybe leave the pressure dressing on for 2 full hours as instructed, Dummy. 🩸

Souperb!

Tonight I made an amazing Thai curry soup with chicken. It is incredibly delicious. Now I’m sad that when it’s gone I will never have it again because I don’t use recipes and I never write down ingredients or amounts. But, from what I can remember I used:

My friend has this little sign in her dining room and from where I’m sitting, I can’t read all of it. I’ve been amusing myself for half an hour by filling in the blanks. Anybody else wanna have a go at it? #BWG 🤣

Huge writing breakthrough day! I love the story I’ve been writing but it was only coming to me a little at a time. I felt like I was driving at night with headlights that only lit up the next 3 feet of the road. Then BAM! I got an instant download from the muse and I could see all the way home. 🙏🙏🙏

Uh-oh. Wyatt broke his hand yesterday during his last wrestling match of the season. And so it begins… If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s related to Savage somehow. Boys. 🤷‍♀️

Life keeps imitating art (if art is a cacophonous cauldron of chaos).

All I want for Christmas is regime change. Doesn’t that sound like an instant classic Christmas song? Maybe each member of the #BWG could write a verse.

New Epstein photos supposedly show a supply of ‘Trump’ brand condoms. Two thoughts come to mind: 1) Is there ANYTHING that doosh won’t put his name on? and 2) Too bad Fred Sr. didn’t have one of those handy back in the fall of 1945.

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions, but I try to pick a theme for the year. Last year’s theme was treating myself to something fun on the 12th of each month (because my birthday is 7/12). This year’s theme will be to celebrate my existing friendships and to make at least 1 new friend every month.

Muck Fichigan. Go OSU!

Someone made her first trip to Ye Olde Christmas Tree Farm right before her Thanksgiving feast. I bet she picked out a good one. No Charlie Brown Christmas trees for this girl. No fake ones, either. 🎄🎄🎄🎄

Be honest: How old were you when you learned that cranberries in the wild are neither cylindrical nor indented with a series of rings? I think I was about 11.

Caviar flavored potato chips: A delicacy? A joke? Or the perfect metaphor for a society that wants to have both and ruins each in the process?

Our local Catholic Iconography shop has a tacky little secret. My only question is where are the gnomes???

A. Dayton sucks. B. Dayton is kinda cool. C. Both A and B

Y’all thought I was effortlessly gorgeous, but I want you to know, this level of glam takes work. Why else would I be wearing a snail mucin face mask right now? Thank you, Korean beauty industry—now I don’t have to hunt around in the yard for a slime trail from a slug to rub on my face any more!

I just spotted this outside a cannabis dispensary. Munchies? We got you covered. 🤣 It actually restores my faith in humanity a little. I should build one of these as a gratitude project.

So it’s come to this: I’m seeing articles that recommend foraging as a way to deal with food insecurity. Even better if you forage for edible invasive plants. Did you know you can eat kudzu? Um, no. I did not know that. You know why? Because we haven’t been hunter-gatherers for 50,000 fucking years!

I’ve lived in this part of Ohio most of my adult life—long enough to know that we have two types of winters: those where we get no snow and those where we get slammed. Having our first snowfall before Thanksgiving does not bode well. Sigh.

The cake smashing was a great success and yet somehow she managed to stay clean. This girl is going to be a world-beater.

Someone is celebrating her first birthday today.

Heads up, NCAA scouts. See you in about 10 years. 🤣

☎️ Ring-ring!! Hello. We are looking for a project manager with clinical research experience in nuclear medicine and molecular imaging for a radiopharmaceutical project. Do you happen to know anyone with that background? Me: My friend, you just made the luckiest cold call of your life. 😆

@pamnation in her natural habitat.

On Saturday, I’m going to “Freak Show at the Phoenix”, a promotional event for local artisans and a historic theater. Not sure what to expect. Maybe some bizarre performance artists and momento mori art? I hope I hook up with some dude in attendance so we can tell people we met at a freak show. 🤣

It’s kind of hard to complain about having to work when you work in a place that looks like this:

Everyone should have a pathologically helpful best friend. If you don’t have one, I highly recommend getting one. Mine has saved my ass more times than I can count, like this morning when I came to work half-dressed and she ran across town at 7:00 to grab my scrubs and bring them to me. 🤣

Um—is this a black mold sitch-ee-ation, or is that just 80 years if filth behind the original built-in cupboard?

Meanwhile, 40 Halloweens ago…

I assembled this IKEA bookcase all by myself today and got the doors (sold separately) on straight and level with no weird gaps or janky-ness. Quite a feat considering that 6 hinges were involved and the substrate was particle board. Anyway, my point is that I am functional as well as decorative.

Fire Chief Wyatt and his dalmation, Willa go trick or treating at the local fire station.