Seven Brides for The Chiodo Brothers. Look I had to it was in my head the whole morning get off my back.

Genuflex: The humblest of workout systems.

New DAKTYLOI dispatch. Astragali. Transmission noise bounced to tape loops and then I started MESSIN with them. soundcloud.com/daktyloi/d26... #soundcloud #noise #experimental

New from DAKTYLOI. This is Gum Slough. More mangled analog media. MORE electroacoustic bangs and whooshes. MORE transmission gusts and chirps. MORE ANTI-ASMR for the kids. MORE psychedelic hauntology. LESS length than the last one by a few minutes. daktyloi.bandcamp.com/album/gum-sl...

I don't blame EPCOT for me getting my arm torn off on Ellen's Energy Adventure in 2016, things happen you know? All I ask is that you bring it back. The ride, that is, my arm is long gone I'm not an idiot. The hell of it is I KNOW my phantom limb is making the cunnilingus gesture all the time.

No reason at all for a shortage of semiconductors. All you gotta do is replace the corn in the machines Frito Lay uses with sand and BOOM you've got Frito Lay semiconductors this shouldn't be this hard to figure out.

Intrusive morning thought: (Frank Black voice) I wanna fuck in a Gravitron.

My brother is color blind. I am not. Which, growing up, made him dullish rust-red with envy

FOR SALE: One well loved Starship 4000. WARNING: This WILL NOT WORK as an anime-style gravity chamber for EXTREME MARTIAL ARTS TRAINING, and let me tell you it doesn't matter what kind of music you play inside it. You'll need to bring a trailer & give me 72 hours to move out.

You can capture carbon with chemical looping and oxyfuel combustion, and that's fine it's just that I'm happy with my big net.

REAL QUICK RESTAURANT REVIEW: Doppler's Chops in Ft. Lauderdale Florida. Pros: The menus are made of grass fed bison jerky & there was D Yellow Swans on the jukebox. Cons: The bar stools are all Judas Cradles. 8.5/10

Telling people that you're "working smarter, not harder" as a way to hand-wave your erectile dysfunction.

I can realistically cry on camera by accessing a powerfully emotional memory. The Rockapella Folgers commercial from 1998.

Barred from the Mad Libs National Championship qualifying rounds because I kept using Toyotathon as both a holiday and as an adjective, "despite being repeatedly warned".

Proud to work with America's largest chicken chain. The chicken chain is used to drive a 3,000 ton capacity chicken carousel for the laying of undersea chicken pipe & umbilical chicken cable for the offshore chicken industry. It's a pretty big chicken chain.

Come down to the Bone Circus. It might SOUND scary, but don't worry, it's just a circus! A circus themed around bones & skeletons & a skeleton ringmaster & skeleton clowns & the skeleton clowns removing your bones to make more skeleton clowns while you scream "NOOOOOOOO!". It's not a big deal.

An oncologist delivers bad news, but tries to do it dramatically by quickly removing her glasses after a beat, but...BUT she forgot about the neon yellow Croakies around her neck & manages to smash her own head on her desk. This cures the cancer, because they say laughter is the best chemotherapy.

New sounds from DAKTYLOI. Tape loops, CD deck, ream of paper, some other things. soundcloud.com/daktyloi/d35... #soundcloud #experimental #noise

Coast Guard keeps harassing me for operating a food truck on a sandbar, 1/2 a mile off the coast of Panama City Beach. Could be any number of reasons. It's super illegal, the truck and generators are diesel; I use CRISPR GMO ultra-cilantro in the Manatee Banh Mi or it's my Fuck Manatees shirt.

Gus Wieby: Jerky Sommelier

Keep your trendy Stanley or Yeti cups I've been drinking out of this WWF Undertaker edition Super Soaker for over 20 years. It doesn't keep the coffee hot & it's pretty messy to drink from & I've never known how to clean it out properly so it smells bad but on the other hand go fuck yourself.

Damn it that opera had a post credit aria I left too soon.

This one is hard to explain, but I'd like a restaurant where everything sprung out from a bunch of different panels, like an automat but with people so also like the Laugh In joke wall, but for BBQ. Or maybe dumplings. Or maybe YCDTOT with the lockers. Dammit, I told you it was hard to explain!

The best part of waking up is dissociating as the hot shower water hits the back of your neck while you murmur and screech math sounds. I call this Autechre Mornings, and they're not just for mornings! Have an Autechre morning, everyone!

I wrote, ON SPEC, a 5 season treatment for a prestige drama about an American Girl Doll based cargo cult, which got lost piloting my ultralight over the Gobi, and became the foundational text for a new society of desert maniacs.

Now wait a minute, hold your horses. Let's not jump to conclusions. Just because I don't like Sunny Delight doesn't mean I'm Team Purple Stuff; that's a pretty binary way of- oh the horses got loose, wow look at that. Shit they're heading for the highway.

There's this little plastic container with a foil top attached to me and I've just noticed it for the first time. Went back and found it's in my photos, baby photos even. Friends all confirmed. Opened it up a bit to look. Turns out I came with a dipping sauce this whole time. WHO KNEW?

Working on my horror movie and I hit a wall finding the best way to portray the foreboding atmosphere of the old fishing village & the broken bleakness of its inhabitants, then it dawned on me: Mark Weiner style live-head puppetry. @a24movies.bsky.social or Mark Weiner, please get in contact.

If you have gauged ears get in contact; your lobe hammocks are the perfect candidates to test drive my new 5G blocking orgonite skull-pucks!

New Dispatch from DAKTYLOI. VHS audio. Antique pinball table. Tape loops. soundcloud.com/daktyloi/d35... #soundcloud #experimental #ambient

No one likes my rapping one continuous drone for 3 minutes. Hard to make rap friends when your flow is laminar.

I imagine most anime characters have to sleep with a CPAP because that nose is useless.

BREAKING: Elon Musk finds out all the wildebeest testosterone he's been vaping is actually 5 Alive & the neighborhood kids all know about it & made up a rhyme about it that sources are calling "devastating in the way the taunts of neighborhood children typically are".

THE SPECIALTY SHOPPING DAYS ARE UPON US!! Don't miss all these door buster deals! I hate rampant capitalism as much as the next fellow but not as much as I HATE DOORS!

My chowder is best chowder because it's all the chowders. Talkin' bay scallops, corn and potato. My refrigerator is now a pillar of chowder which also makes it a pillar of excellence and indeed a pillar of this community.

I'll say it again, ALL my soups are homeopathic.

If Jeff Dunham was actually smart he'd've had some sort of anthropomorphized crypto coin puppet ready to go years ago.

Tried to look through NASA's Webb Telescope and accidentally look through NASA's Weeb Telescope and it was all Pocky crumbs and balled up tissues don't make my mistake.

Scanner slam! Electromag Mic! Brevity! Hear ye the latest dispatch from DAKTYLOI. soundcloud.com/daktyloi/d35... #ambient #experimental #noise #soundcloud

The different people featured on Blue Bell ice cream boxes all live in the same small town and all members of the same small town cult. From the coach to the child in your aunt's necklace. The eye contact they make with you from the packaging is a shameful acknowledgement of your outsider status.

Just heard a mournful clown horn. Didn't know they could do that. Really wish I didn't have that knowledge. My life's chapters are now defined as Before and After mournful clown horn.

Unappealing Charcuterie Boards: Kraft singles & pemmican One really big pitted olive run stuck all over with frilly toothpicks 31 wet peanuts that spell the word JAMON 5 mixed chess pieces & sriracha Longtots* & Fig Chutney A severed hand only it's YOUR hand & someone's stolen your purity ring.

I hesitate to show you any of my most top tier butterfly knife tricks because they're likely to blow your mind out of your damn nostrils in a thick mind pulp & you'll be standing there drooling, not a state with which to fully appreciate these sick butterfly knife tricks.

Person 1: Hey, you're a huge dork, ain't ya? Bet you like those JRPG's a whole lot, huh? Person 2: "......" Person 1: Yeah I THOUGHT so you fuckin' doofus. (Peels out of the Wawa parking lot like a badass)

My Kazaa download finally finished and now I can see what this "Vanilla Sky" is all about.

Just to be absolutely sure I got my facts straight, The Good Old Days were the ones where we drove entire bird species to extinction because we needed radder hats, right?

To the Victor belong the spoils. Sorry Victor, nothing personal. (Throws rotting fruit and coffee grounds at Victor)

I'm not positive but it sure seems likely that someone somewhere has been beaten to death because they wouldn't stop making that director's hand framing gesture at someone else. High 90's percent sure about this.

It's entirely possible, likely even, that a lot of guys my age are simply afraid of bed frames on account of Rambo First Blood Part II.

Found a beautiful little Cornish Bone Folly in my back acre and was about to go full court social media on it but it turns out I was pranked by that Tubi Original where Bryan Cranston goes around hiding palm sized Cornish Bone Follies all in your shit and JOKES ON ME I GUESS.