Man I picked a bad day to be literate 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️

Thank you wind, for the heads up that my electrical panel wasn’t secured. Didn’t need to slam the door against the house tho.

Bbq chicken banh mi? Don’t mind if I do.

Source cited: my country ass learning how to say macabre for the first time.

Is it me or do disposable lense wipes leave way more lint behind than I remember

Ain’t nothin like realizing you left your good soap at the hotel after you’ve driven about 100 miles away 😭😭😭

First cold day of the fall and buddy, I need ALL the Zyrtec

People’s IQ and sexual prowess are two areas I find inversely proportional to how much they brag about it.

Greg Jennings meme broke containment

Aye this is “he might actually be an op” level of cover and deflection being run

If not fascist, why fascist shaped?

This new Animorphs reboot looking spicy

Oh god Tennessee

Dog must’ve eaten something disagreeable. Stomach sound like she swallowed a drum machine set to breakbeat patterns

Just tried Yemeni coffee and damn that slaps. Really reminds you that coffee beans are part of a fruit.

Gonna have a landline installed so I can physically hang up on people again.

Lifter Pavement Princesses with brush guards that have only come in contact with the garbage cans, by accident

One of the foundational pillars of being friends with my socially inept ass. If I tell you the truth in confidence as a friend, that you outta line and that upsets you, that’s fine, you’ll be alright.

“Said baby boy you're only funky as your last cut” “You focus on the past your ass'll be a has but”

Oh no Mrs Bookay.

Ah, I see the AirPod case is specifically designed to shoot a single earbud under the closet piece of furniture as a method of negating fall damage.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

“It’s going to be a maze” - Community

The ridiculous nature of these current events got me entertaining any explanation; God deleted a comma in his earth.docx file and fucked up the formatting; the Mayans were right and we’re in hell; the rapture actually happened but only 4 people were chosen; or absolute morons are in charge.

The surface excuse was saving money, but it was always about control, seizing data and crippling any agency with the power to improve the lives of anyone who isn’t rich.

THE US GOVERNMENT HAS SHUT DOWN. I, STARSCREAM, AM NOW YOUR LEADER.

Hell no, only cuz I was in too deep with the Redwall series.

The defense of “wait guys, I’m not doing anything crazy like twice a day yet” is killing me 😂😂😆🤣

Bruh you could lure me under a box propped up with a stick with this ice cold bowl of fruit

RIP Kaleb Horton kalebhorton.ghost.io/2025-so-far/

Also appreciate Palace’s aesthetic of “yea our stadium is kinda shitty, now walk onto the field from the parking lot dickhead”

Looking at crystal palace’s signboard got me wondering if we too could just switch it to equity diversity and inclusion and no one would notice.

A Boyz II Men competitor sponsored by Turning Point USA

Fuck it. Today is for guitar maintenance and football. My mild to moderate misanthropy’s actin up

They scared. They won’t go and protest against the current regime cuz they’ll use violence without hesitation and they know it. We all are scared, but we can’t collectively muster the strength to fight if we’re too busy wasting it on mf’s that claim to be on our side.

Fam they just dropped a guitar pedal with a subscription, they all the way outta pocket

Don’t worry yall sit tight, we’ll get em later bro I promise.

Out of office message set to “I’ll get back to you Wednesday, Lord unwilling.”

IT BEGINS

Reading this new SCP entry for “white people” has me cackling.

Aight jags lowkey trolling.

Looks like the AFC south will be a fight to be the king of 💩 mountain once again.

lol Gus taking bets live during the review

Sam Cooke with the Soul Stirrers

How you rocking double time but somehow still left every beat untouched?

Credit Karma idc about my score changing, I kinda got other existential shit going on at the moment.

Since this whole debate is still happening, and since we are still not listening I will summarize what I understand the argument to be in the Lingua Franca of white nerds: Lord of the Rings analogies.