For a boat foot nigga such as myself, the SNKRS app can rot in hell alongside QR codes for menus. I’m not about to set an alarm to get outmaneuvered by bots buying all the stock in mere planck seconds

I’m Gonna Git you Sucka or Harlem Nights.

Currently watching the rockets game from a bar smoking hookah. Im giving all the htown energy I can guys, get it together pls.

My god Mitoma

Bite a fry, bite the burger. Bite the burger, bite a fry. Bite the …

It says a lot that the administration with Hollywood kowtowing to their regime is getting lapped in the shitpost dept.

Corollary: If I go to a Mexican joint and gotta either point at the wall or at the menu and smile and nod vigorously…

You: just casually ambulating enjoying being alive Geese: Ayo fuck this guy in particular

Empathy and willingness to hear people out from my mom. Moral rigidity and sense of justice from my dad.

Normalize being the nigga that asks other niggas to explain themselves when they say some egregious shit. Stop laughing it off to maintain the peace. Be the vibe ruiner. Cuz that shit shouldn’t be your vibe anyways.

Old job - roughly 3 times an hour New job- about 4 times a week

Been out of pocket all day for work and am just now reading the marathon patch notes and saw Arachne shells and brutha I’m here to tell ya….

Ayo this man drinking roundup?

Ya know that fact that my phone consistently substitutes words that are grammatically irrelevant to what I’m typing but can auto capitalize brand names is a different yet equally unwanted kind of corporate purgatory.

Since their inception they have been a tool to protect capital above all else. And they are rewarded with a monopoly on the ability to inflict violence.

I keep a toy shotgun that fires table salt near my back door for flying insects.

I’m getting real fucking tired of autocorrect pretending I don’t know what words I want to use

Waiting on NuCaloric to tell me if sparkleaf is indica or sativa

I was one of the idiots who actually tried to beat Battletoads

One of my favorite pastimes. baby - *nonsensical babble Me - damn that’s a good point

Old dumb and dumber ass fit.

What’s wrong babe? You have touched your laminar flow water.

They hella late we onto churrascaria now.

Watching 10 commandments when the edible began beating my ass

Like an Ent native to the swamps with a head cold

It means you gotta add “Tranquility Merchant” to your bio.

Been hard at work getting ready for our adult Easter egg hunt. Hope the rain don’t fuck it up tho.

Pork tasso with green beans, corn and potatoes smothered in tomato based gravy or white/brown rice. Bonus points if it’s spicy as fukkk.

Just awoke from a dream where Bret Hart and Keith David (They Live version) engaged in fun banter and gave me chest bumps in an HEB parking lot on a rainy night before hopping in their respective lifted trucks and did sick burnouts. Giving up 🍃for Lent has done strange things to my mind 😂😭😭

Cuz conservatism at its heart is hierarchical and heavily pattern coded so you have to present a certain way to avoid scrutiny. It’s like aposematism for d-bags.

Cremate me and pack me into a big ol’ shitty bottle rocket

My brother in Christ you must have him confused with Jack Nicklaus. Jackie Chan is the college football coach who had a bull castrated in front of his players.

Awww yisss, I know where imma be on the 13th of June

Arguing that we shouldn’t lambast the orphan crushing machine because it also crushes orphans of color is certainly a stance.

I’m a pessimistic realist. It is what it is and it’s probably bad.

Sorry, been outside and playing video games all day.

Tangentially related but this a prime example of why you stfu when talking to cops.

Realizing that if Back to the Future was remade today, they would travel to ‘96 really humbled me.

Considering I just walked my daughter thru upgrading her ram so we can play slay the spire 2 together, prolly never.

So you see, I’m at the hardware store to grab a multimeter because the light switch in the utility closet didn’t work when i went to grab a screwdriver to pry open the stuck drawer in the kitchen where i keep the odd battery size for the garage door opener that stopped working yesterday.

Nah, it’s cuz I love them too much to switch it up just cuz.

4xl raiders jersey Girbaud Jean shorts *add to cart

Boy oh boy this country loves to play the hits….

At the end of the day people need to remember that when it comes to transgressions, apologies are always required. Forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is a benediction granted by the aggrieved, not something owed to the perpetrators.

Compared to who I was, absolutely. Compared to who I want to be? Nah

Hol on, pre-ugly got me good.

Shit was wild fam, had a lady give the stink eye because I showed up with REALID and my voter registration card and still wanted to play 20 questions.

28yo me: of course I got it like that, you see these J’s, chains, rims… 38yo me: of course I got it like that, you see this pulse oximeter, waterpik, HSA…

3 is the champ. 7 is great too only cuz no one wants to steal it.