The package

Half cut dancing around the kitchen singing along in broken Puerto Rican to Bad Bunny, I am in my happy place

Life’s too short to stick with books you’re not enjoying (I just read the first 2 chapters of a book, found the narrator far too annoying, skipped to the middle of the book and read a random paragraph and the narrator was still annoying) (closed book, never to open again)

If you would like an update on how my life is going, managed to lose the heel caps from BOTH SHOES today. I’ve had these brogues a long time but both of them? On the same day? Come on. I’m clippity clopping all over the office

I’ve not been 100% well since I got back from Spain so I think maybe I need another holiday. For my health.

My new favourite corner of the house

Someone got a haircut today

How have I gone from living my best boat life yesterday to basically dying today? Was it my dip in the cold sea? Was it a whole week of very little sleep and an increase in my cava consumption? Who can say. It’s a mystery.

Two things: 1. I really wanna learn how to play mahjong 2. My bag didn’t arrive in Edinburgh with me, which is a minor inconvenience but I am very ill so every minor inconvenience is 100x worse than normal

Can’t believe I’m gonna miss Kraftwerk playing in Stockton. Also, wonder if they like parmos? Guess I’ll never know

My mum genuinely can’t tell what videos are real and what is AI online. Everything is real to her until she has proof otherwise. This feels to me like it’s the wrong way around?

My best pal is not feeling too great and I have also made myself ill due to worrying about her. Also for such a small dog I’m not sure how she managed to take up 3 quarters of my kingsize bed last night

Had only been in the new job a week, had just met someone new and mixed my words up. Instead of saying either ‘cheers’ or ‘thanks’ I enthusiastically said ‘chanks!’ and walked away. I think of this 100 times a day

Stopped to put fuel in my car, lifted the nozzle and it was absolutely drenched with diesel. How does that happen? Anyway now I’ve got about £3 worth of diesel on my hands and no matter how many times I wash them I can’t get rid of the smell

Was listening to a podcast on the train and I was stifling a laugh and I snorted like a little piggy 🐷

Took me a moment to realise the reason my dog smells so good today is because she’s been curled up on the shirt I was wearing yesterday. She smells like Coco Mademoiselle. Boujie pooch.

I have a ~significant~ birthday this year and I want to celebrate in a fun way but I also don’t want to have to plan this celebration. A quandary 🤔

a little goblin

I started a new job this month, it’s been 10 years since I was the new girl at work. It’s been a bit daunting. I do sometimes feel like I’m just cosplaying as A Normal Human

I’ve decided to annoy people on here now. Hiya.