Your blinker isn’t decorative.

We don’t do impulsive rebrands. Ask the Gulf of Mexico.

“Too many drivers. Not enough directions.” — basically the Vanity Fair article in a nutshell.

“It’s about the journey.” — Someone who has never been stuck behind a tractor

Look, I can handle heartbreak — but black ice? Absolutely not.

My intern just asked if I “grew up without internet.” No, I grew up with dial-up, which is worse.

All I want for Christmas is to not sit in traffic.

Some of you never printed directions to the mall at 4 a.m., and it shows.

There’s no GPS route for avoiding political conversations at dinner. We checked.

You call it “detour.” We call it “the plot twist.”

Blinkers exist. Use them. This isn’t improv.

I brake because I want to.

If you’re tailgating me, I assume it’s because you need directions.

We were the first app powered by pure audacity.

I fold like a professional

They stopped minting pennies, but that crumpled MapQuest page in your glovebox? Immortal.

"still punk as ****" I whisper as I print my directions

We can’t fix your life, but we can tell you where you missed the turn.

I swear our password isn't mapquest

Turn signals: the original “I care about others” button.

Are we there yet?

Even we can’t recalculate if no one’s driving. Go vote.

Honk if your last nerve hit a pothole.

You weren't lost. You were just committed to the bit.

Apple’s adding ads to their maps. Cute. We’ve had those since gas was $1.47. Thanks for the retro cosplay, follower.

Some people go for a drive. Some people bulldoze federal architecture. We all cope differently, I guess.

We used to burn mix CDs for road trips. Now I just burn out.

When the internet crashes, paper maps just laugh softly from the glovebox.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they do make a story your mom will bring up for the next 20 years.

If you don’t remember printing directions, are you really old enough to drive?

Me every time someone says “MapQuest still exists?"

I've got direction. Do you?

If lost, blame the driver, not the map.

Coffee: the only turn-by-turn directions that actually get me to “functional human.”

You can’t spell “cartography” without “cry” if you just delete most of the letters.

I think we might have missed the turn.

Free speech means calling this body of water whatever name you want: gulfof.mapquest.com

Our free speech is printed in black ink. You can’t ban directions. You can only get lost.

Nobody will remember: - your salary - how "busy" you were People will remember: - that one time you said you knew a shortcut and then got your friends lost

I've lost the plot.

Imagine explaining this *gestures wildly* to a Victorian child.

Remember when 'zooming in' meant squinting at a MapQuest printout?

Half of you met your soulmate at the wrong exit. You’re welcome.

And it will forever be the Gulf of Mexico to us.

MapQuest: Turn left. You: Into a bakery? MapQuest: A sweet detour.

You are here. The question is: where were you before?

Y2K aesthetic is cute until you’re lost in a parking lot with only a flip phone, a MapQuest printout, and deep emotional repression.

Honk if you’ve accepted that this is not the scenic route, it’s just your life now.

MapQuest doesn’t care about your screen time. We care about your scream time — screaming when you miss a turn, screaming into the void, screaming for ice cream.

Navigation peaked when we all agreed to follow a pixelated wagon into hell and call it “educational software.”