Is a peripatetic Mennonite a mover and a shaker?

"Feel the Probe and do it Anyway" -the title of my new alien abduction self-help book.

You keep that cat in a box for a week, a week and a half, it's no longer 50/50 dead/alive. Your move, Schrödinger.

All things being equal, Spring Equinox is mid.

The word "borscht" can be used to replace both the word "best" and the word "worst". "It was the borscht of times, it was the borscht of times."

I find people who listen to house music to be unct-unct-unct-unct-unctuous.

Chinese New Year + Mardi Gras = Gung Hay Fat Tuesday!

My celebrity fragrance: "Smellegance by Bean".

Ichor You-chor We all scream From the madness of Cthulhu

December seems to be the "sometime" in "sometime food".

The enema of my enemy is my friend.

Some new Krampus cards I scribbled up...

Our hall stand gets decked out, depending on the holiday. Currently, it's Krampus themed, with horns, chained "arms" and a naughty child in its basket.

When you "high five" someone, it's actually a high ten, but y'all ain't ready to hear that.

Time to do a bunch of cocaine in celebration!

Francis Lawrence "The Long Walk"-ed so Edgar Wright could "The Running Man".

I'm going to start doing Pontius Pilates and wash my hands of exercise.

I wish you a happy, formal Samuelhain.

28 years ago today, the two goofball in the middle got married...

#9: Deadstream YouTube idiot-man spends the night in a house made of Evil Dead movies. It takes real balls to try to emulate the Evil Dead films, but this one does it brilliantly.

I memed...

Movie #8: Final Destination: Bloodlines Slightly better than the rest. Some actual character development and dialog that felt more natural. The highlight: Tony Todd explained why the hell his character was always so nonchalant about all the Death doings and he got to say farewell to his fans.

The Vexing Menageries are here! The Vexing Menageries are here!

Movie #7: “Final Destination 5” Stupid blah stupid bridge blah blah blah. Five fuckin’ movies in and I haven’t cared about one single character. They’re all so willfully bland (or I instantly hate them and want them to die).

6: Final Destination 4 Stupid Death at Stupid NASCAR. Here's how absolutely interchangeable all the characters are; the titles are X-ray skeleton versions of previous character deaths in the first three movies. Not the characters themselves, their skeletons.

#5: Final Destination 3 Stupid Death on a roller coaster. You know what you’re never going to see? A “Final Destination” costume at Spirit Halloween. It’s a serial killer movie too lazy to give you an actual serial killer. Whatta gonna go as, wind? A growling downed powerline? A puddle? A log?

Last chance to jump on board... late pledges end today!

#4: Final Destination 2 Stupid Death is still a stupid dick, now with even more stupid. Why did I care even less about these walking clichés? (Oh, because none of them were given the courtesy of having any character development. They’re just pre-corpses who have yet to be rent asunder.)

#3 “Final Destination” When this came out, I was excited to see it, since it's by Morgan and Wong, two of the creative powerhouses that made "The X-Files" one of my favorite shows. Then I saw this rejected X-Files script and it's been on my "worst horror movies" for the last 25 years. Still is.

Takes the goofy spirit of the original and mutates it with a more coherent plot. Dinklage brings a surprising amount of depth to Toxie. Kevin Bacon has a grand time as The Villain, Elijah Wood delights as His Creepy Brother. A solid job of evoking nostalgia without it overwhelming everything.

#2 Frankie Freako As a fan of Astron-6 (the filmmakers behind “Psycho Goreman”), I was hoping their riff on 80’s puppet monster movies would be as good as their tribute to Italian giallo horror, “The Editor”. It wasn’t. They squandered the premise's potential.

Movie #1: “Get Away” Picked this because of Nick Frost and Asiling Bea. Like most horror comedies, logic tends to go out the window in service to the story. Still, it manages to be entertaining enough to recommend as Sunday matinee popcorn muncher.

Sooooo close to 500% but, you know what, I'll take it... delightfully so! Thanks to everyone who contributed to the success of the campaign (and if you missed it, you can still Late Pledge for rewards through October)!

Last day of the Kickstarter campaign, folks! Get 'em while they're hot! Get 'em while their weird!

One week left on my Kickstarter! Get 'em while they're weird!

"Why everything?!" -I just commented to no one, about everything.

ONLY 271 DAYS UNTIL SUMMER!!!!

"The Vexing Zoologist" level on my Kickstarter strikes again! This time Robin's aqua-buddy, the Juck, a piranha/octopus hybrid ! (This one enjoys posing like the little mermaid!)

All things being equal, I wish you a happy Autumnal Equinox!

It's Chuck and Steve's birthday!

Another "The Vexing Zoologist" level colab, this time with a quest! Roark, who's gone off to school at St. Andrews in Scotland, will be receiving this Boggonit, who is peaking out from a local land mark in the ruins of St. Andrews Cathedral. So he gets a weird creature and a new place to discover.

Another "The Vexing Zoologist" level colab, this time between the indominable Jason and myself. He wanted a creature that would be right at home at a live techno dance party, so he got this lil' guy... the Xexy!

One of my Kickstarter levels is "The Vexing Zoologist", where the backer and I design a creature. Carey wanted a basement-dwelling computer creature, so we came up with the Scuzigooi. (He's named after Small Computer System Interface [SCSI] and Graphic User Interface [GUI]: "scuzzy" and "gooey".)

Put the finishing touches on the bonus Vexing Menagerie sticker sheet that everyone now gets along with the book. (See Kickstarter link below if you haven't already). Fun fact: Twombly's Wut-Wut is named after Royal Twombly Heath, who's name I discovered in Santa Cruz's Evergreen Cemetery.

Hi, it's me! I'm the weirdo. It's me.

* Weird happy Bean dance! *

Here it is, folks, the Big Thing... "The Vexing Menagerie"! This year's Hastings Halloween Goodie got a little out of hand when I decided to celebrate Edward Gorey's centenary (and my 35th year of sending them out) with a tribute to his book "The Utter Zoo". The menagerie grew into an entire book.

35 years ago, I started sending out holiday greetings to friends & family. Originally Xmas cards, I switched to Halloween goodies. Laser-cut dancing Frankensteins, stickers, horror movie bingo, 175+ painted ghosties and more. All have led up to the Big Thing I'll be announcing on September 1st!

For those of us who grew up in the 80's in the Bay Area, this is totally bitchin'! From the Gilman (where I saw my friend's high school band play) to the "The Lost Boys" to the Oakland Coliseum (where I saw Metallica), this hits all the right B-movie 80's Bay Area weirdness notes.

Missed yesterday's Big Thing teaser because oh so busy, so today you get this seemingly unrelated thing o completely confuse you as to what the heck's going on here anyway.