Watching a MLS game for the first time and commentator goes "teasing little ball from behind" i cant take this sport serious man

you beter watch your ass, like theres a tv show about your ass

you think your all that and a bag of chips, but your not that and a bag of shit

im slam dunckin like shack in his prime

its so dumb how i drink beer everyday but i dont even feel good everyday

jack doherty is a poiltical prisoner and locking up for his beliefs is wrong

trump blew bubba sparxxx

nsync? nah godsmack? more more fuckin like it

i could tell it was daylight savings time this morning cause i pissed the bed. happens everytime

fmk biggie the rapper, biggie the wendys, biggie the buzzball

yall hear that lin manuel miranda hyperpop album?? shit fire fr

crazy... the world has never seen a real ass mfer eat poo on film yet

the rapper nas named himself after nascar cause of his lyrical horsepowers

sometimes i get in a scuffle just to feel a man's touch

pete davidson shoulda opened with that norm macdonald joke about walking thru blood and bones in manhattan

if my fridge starts showing me ads it better be for horny milfs in my area

one cool thing about being bald is when ur customizing your guy in a videogame, bald is always a hair option and ur person in the game always kinda looks like u irl no matter what

my finger got infected from washing too many dishes so i seriously can never wash dishes again in my life or i might fucking die

"Its times like these we learn to love again" foo fighters

really?

Im from the rez and I just watched a Wilco show. Wtf? That sucked. They played guitar and never once rocked

on my way to my homies house, its a really long walk, hopin he'll rub my feet when i get there

going to a wnba game tonight with my friend and i know we are going to be profiled and surveilled as the two most likely men to throw a dildo onto the court, im not doing it though, i got respect

she be liking how the god has sex like that

i dont need anything to be horny

you must be on mad coke n ecstasy, to think for a second that u could have sex with me

i would play the new tony hawk game, but i dont want to damage the curbs and rails n stuff in the game out of respect for the property owners

theres literally nothing more old head status than going bald. you literally got a old head

piss drops keep fallin off my dick

my boy simpn like he dont know beaten off is free

who do you think has the best taste in music of all time

watchin this Descendents documentary, soakin up game from big homie Grohl

just doing some research

you gotta leave a little bit of shit in the toilet so people who never been before know where to go

just finished the bin laden documentary. wow, never knew osama got down like that

My ballsack fell inside da couch n i had 2 scoop it out

yes, i got fired for drinking cum on the job, but i jus work in a regular bank. like where they keep money

me n my crew going gangbusters, cause we always bust as a gang

Collarbone Maroney, the irish mobster from Portland, Maine who controlled the black market for exotic pets from 1978-1985, and created the infamous designer breed of Bengal: "The Teacup Tiger".

cause you got a PhD, player haters degree, and ur girl got a MD, thats a moron dickhead.... degree

watching post malone do a country set and hes kinda swaggerjackin mason ramsey

oh shawty u dont like while im lookim up at u while i lick that thang? Well i guess u jus shit outta luck 😛🫣

im in the toilet disguised as a bunch of poop, dont blow my cover