one cool thing about being bald is when ur customizing your guy in a videogame, bald is always a hair option and ur person in the game always kinda looks like u irl no matter what

my finger got infected from washing too many dishes so i seriously can never wash dishes again in my life or i might fucking die

"Its times like these we learn to love again" foo fighters

really?

Im from the rez and I just watched a Wilco show. Wtf? That sucked. They played guitar and never once rocked

on my way to my homies house, its a really long walk, hopin he'll rub my feet when i get there

going to a wnba game tonight with my friend and i know we are going to be profiled and surveilled as the two most likely men to throw a dildo onto the court, im not doing it though, i got respect

she be liking how the god has sex like that

i dont need anything to be horny

you must be on mad coke n ecstasy, to think for a second that u could have sex with me

i would play the new tony hawk game, but i dont want to damage the curbs and rails n stuff in the game out of respect for the property owners

theres literally nothing more old head status than going bald. you literally got a old head

piss drops keep fallin off my dick

my boy simpn like he dont know beaten off is free

who do you think has the best taste in music of all time

watchin this Descendents documentary, soakin up game from big homie Grohl

just doing some research

you gotta leave a little bit of shit in the toilet so people who never been before know where to go

just finished the bin laden documentary. wow, never knew osama got down like that

My ballsack fell inside da couch n i had 2 scoop it out

yes, i got fired for drinking cum on the job, but i jus work in a regular bank. like where they keep money

me n my crew going gangbusters, cause we always bust as a gang

Collarbone Maroney, the irish mobster from Portland, Maine who controlled the black market for exotic pets from 1978-1985, and created the infamous designer breed of Bengal: "The Teacup Tiger".

cause you got a PhD, player haters degree, and ur girl got a MD, thats a moron dickhead.... degree

watching post malone do a country set and hes kinda swaggerjackin mason ramsey

oh shawty u dont like while im lookim up at u while i lick that thang? Well i guess u jus shit outta luck 😛🫣

im in the toilet disguised as a bunch of poop, dont blow my cover

chet hanks does polar express 2 and its way better than the first one

my balls like lil big planets n u should see my sack, boy

people are always talking shit about corn syrup, its bad, its unhealthy, well what if it were called KoRn sizzurp i bet youd like it then

im a perv watchin porno whoaa ohh ohhh

my jack style determines my sex style

jingle all the way is great cause its one of my favourite christmas movies but also one of my favourite sinbad movies

my brain trying to enjoy The Substance as a piece of art

watching the d titty documentary on bubi

everytime i sext they reply "lmao"

the way i look like maven got shorty misbehavin

just watched a delightful porno! the sex in it, it was to die for.

what can i wear to really stunt on my old classmates at the PragerU reunion

im creating a secret society of dumb motherfuckers

having sex currently, wearing a male condom

was reviewing this one, and number 1 has gotta be when free willy jumped over the thing bsky.app/profile/pigs...