I can’t believe his fist was made of actual iron

Advise without doing while your octogenarian parents set up a Yubikey, I dare you

It’s not the heat, it’s the stupidity www.nytimes.com/2026/02/06/a...

Where my iOS developers-for-hire at?

Cowards. Every single one of them. Spineless, can't-prioritize, self-serving cowards.

Who made this

Who are AI notes even for, if they won’t correct that to whom

Does anyone have a copy of the Antifa brand guidelines or know where I can find one?

More comical or pathetic? www.nytimes.com/2025/11/14/u...

Be more or less serious

The song that broke the timeline. Merging bluegrass, rap, religion, trains, magical thinking, global awareness, pianos, vocal fry, sick bass lines, and simple good will, Billy Joel’s 1973 cut “Travelin’ Prayer” endures as a musical record of the moment our universe was destroyed youtu.be/Pj05s_Pzz88

Thanks Obama

Follow this account for more earnest posts you can scoff at™️

I didn’t feel like I had a solid enough understanding of the shutdown, so I did a lot of reading and ignored the news. Net net: POTUS genuinely and resolutely cares more about scapegoating Dems than he cares about serving America. Compromise talks are afoot; POTUS holds out for violence.

CHECK YOUR KID’S CANDY!! I just found an asteroid headed straight toward Earth in my kid’s Charleston Chew

He's demolishing everything. His destroying the literal White House is dramatic, but shouldn't come as a surprise. When are his apologists going to wake up?

That was amazing try, a real Hail Mary, fun to watch even in failure.

I guess if athlete’s foot is bad despite sounding good then athlete’s dick is probably not what it’s cracked up to be then is it sweetheart

Advisory if you’re flying out of PIT today: There are four PreCheck lanes and every one is full of people who have never flown before.

Free speech, that’s what we’re down to talking about, but only sorta… because: free speech :/

You can’t beat entropy

Arsonist firefighter and community whose homes he set ablaze agree to terms for the fire's partial extinguishment

Puppy farts. Why did it have to be puppy farts.

Can I uninstall Liquid Glass

If you don’t fall for something, you’ll stand for anything.

Which religion gives you the most credit for being the one who always stays up late to re-clean the 13x9” Pyrex dish?

July the fourth be with you

When principles are needed most, it is courage that gives them value. Principles in the absence of courage are worthless.

There’s a reason restaurants get Michelin stars and not Mayo Clinic stars, holy shit

Ohhhh, not Bill Moyers. RIP.

This is a perfectly cooperative AI answer g.co/gemini/share...

the locker room at my local Y is a 600 sq ft cautionary tale about lingering too long in the intersection of male middle age and whiteness

Wow, people named Tony can fuckin SING

[the surprise gut punch of singing along to literally any vulnerable song you know while commuting to your soulless job during a solid midlife crisis]

White smoke! It's antifreeze!

I love that I show my 8-y.o. this when she says Netflix isn’t working and she’s like, yeah that makes total sense, and just turns off the tv and walks away

Where do you send your old shower curtain liners to be melted down or whatever

Oof

But her emails

Only the best people www.nytimes.com/2025/03/24/u...

Terrifiance is a non word my daughter just worded and I’m writing it down because I need even the little wins these days

Doing the important work g.co/gemini/share...

www.instagram.com/reel/DGTpufw... I think they’re taking it in stride

On a more apocalyptic note, I’m ready to have my cancer spatulas back. Silicone isn’t fit for actual cooking

Discovered this depressing little gem, you're welcome? www.project2025.observer

Coup and collapse aside, you have to admit that Musk is doing an outstanding job letting Trump believe he’s in charge

If I wanted to hear your every burp, fart, and thought, I’d just follow you on LinkedIn

Jackfruit was sent here by Satan to poison our blissful relationship with fruit

Why didn’t the Chiefs start playing by football earlier in the game, that’s what I want to pretend to want to know

RIP Harrison Jeep