LEFT HANDED GIRL opened today so naturally I’ve been constantly singing the title in an exaggerated Jeff Mangum nasal twang to the tune of “Two-Headed Boy.”

Briefly thought the pic on this Onion headline was way off then realized Oh, I’m that old, that is what people see when they look at me.

Sometimes I wish I had a bingo card for things not to be on.

Scheduled a court date for a correctable traffic citation and got to see a bunch of other cases adjudicated prior to my own. Unless avoiding court is worth like $100-200 to you, go for anything. Every single fine got substantially reduced, irrespective of disposition. Literally all of them.

I really miss the five years I spent not getting colds.

Don’t suppose there’s any way to move IMDB’s mobile search bar back to the top? (I’ll get used to it but right now it’s driving me nuts.)

Want to know how my thoughts on movies come across when I can’t devote a ludicrous amount of time and energy to carefully crafting every word? Here’s your chance! Was especially happy to talk about SICK, one of the greatest documentaries ever made, which rarely gets mentioned nowadays.

Let’s just list the Nakadai films I own: Seven Samurai Yojimbo Harakiri High and Low Kwaidan The Sword of Doom Samurai Rebellion Ran Gotta think that’s a sizable % of my favorite Japanese films period. What a career. (And RAN was the first Japanese movie I ever saw, so he was iconic for me.)

SCHUMER: America is in the midst of a Republican-made health care crisis—a crisis so severe, so urgent, and so devastating for American families that I cannot support a continuing resolution that fails to address it. I am voting NO. ALL OF BLUESKY: Die you fucking surrender monkey!

CULTURAL CRITICS EVERYWHERE: Going to the movies will soon be like going to the opera or the theater—a pastime reserved for select aficionados. MOVIE THEATERS IN NYC: Come see any of the 32 new films that opened theatrically today!

TIL that the state of national emergency declared in 1979 re: Iran has been continuously extended to the present day, by Reagan and Bush and Clinton and Shrub and Obama and Trump and Biden and Trump again.

For fuck’s sake dude that’s why everyone calls him President Trump! (Sorry, what’s that? His actual *name*? You’re joking.)

Happy about all the winning but also still angry that the folks who flipped or sat 2024 out somehow did not understand last year that this is where we’d be right now. So much misery could have been avoided, including plenty of misery still to come.

Like, oh, say, Lanthimos'. (Did not remember this at all, stumbled upon it just now while sticking a few ancient tweet-reviews on Lbox.)

Received both of these notices in today’s mail, well done bureaucracy.

Hearing some fireworks despite living a good 60 miles north of L.A., nostalgically remembering paying no attention to Super Bowl XLII (2008) but learning the Giants had won when my entire Brooklyn neighborhood exploded in cheers.

Love to see ancient invented terminology from the movie-nerd chat group infect proper journalism. (Courtesy @bilgeebiri.bsky.social who was a member of said group.)

Fondly reminiscing about the year—think I was 11 or 12, on the cusp of considering myself too old for trick or treat—when I was too lazy to find a costume and instead put ~30 white tube socks on one foot so it looked like a cast and went on my mom’s crutches from a car accident. Got so much candy.

Three of the four Peter Watkins films I’ve seen were “programmed” for me by my Patreon subscribers, who have wonderfully eclectic collective taste. Did not anticipate that my weekly request poll would produce winners like EDVARD MUNCH and LA COMMUNE. And I’m very happy that it did. R.I.P.

Switched my home Internet provider (an option I only recently discovered that I even had; when I moved into this house in 2009, it was Time Warner Cable or nothing) and it appears that I erred gravely by not initiating a bidding war for my business. They *really* don’t want you to cancel.

Objection. Assumes facts not in evidence.

Someone suggested it may have been something like this. Would think I’d remember that, but then I don’t remember it whatever it was.

Came upon an email I sent in 2006 that includes the words “I’m typing this from a kiosk in Times Square” and have literally no recollection of what that deal was. Anyone?

Ah, the wiseacres. Such a joy to have them among us.

One day I will stop singing BUGONIA to the tune of McCartney’s “Mamunia,” but today clearly isn’t going to be that day.

And I want to watch someone commit suicide in a running pose because…?

Huh, I guess EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! (which as a reminder was nearly a decade ago) never made it to Middleburg.

“Why would Weird Al do that?” I’m gonna be briefly wondering on a regular basis for the rest of my life.

Remember the people who favored an interpretation of TÁR’s ending for which there was zero support in the actual movie? I’m about to become that guy for BUGONIA.

At 57 I may have only 20 or so years left, and when I measure that by movies—the time remaining to me is the time since, say, CACHÉ—it feels frighteningly close. But then I remind myself that YouTube and Twitter and smartphones didn’t exist 20 years ago, and it feels unimaginably distant.

Just discovered that I can’t tell Rebecca Ferguson from Kerry Condon if the role calls for an American accent. (Quick search reveals I’m not alone in this.)

Been mourning Twitterrific for 3 years, so was happy to belatedly discover that its creator now offers a reader, Tapestry, that makes this joint considerably less bland, with color-coded list integration and customizable font / text size and such. Can’t post/reply yet, but they’re working on it.

Some poor actor evidently was cut out of STEALING HOME at the very last minute.

Brown: Get On Up Valens: La Bamba Turner: What’s Love Got to Do With It Curtis: Control Liberace: Behind the Candalabra Gordon: ’Round Midnight Lynn: Coal Miner’s Daughter Guthrie: Bound for Glory Eminem: 8 Mile Cash: Walk the Line Dylan: A Complete Unknown Piaf: La Vie en Rose Beatles: Backbeat

My plan to watch a particular film tonight has been foiled by seemingly half the internet going down in the middle of the night. Good thing I’m swimming in physical media.

Probably the correct explanation.

“Would like to” or “wish to,” pick one. Not this. (Hard to articulate why, though. You need the “would” prior to “like” because otherwise it reads like the filmmakers just enjoy thanking the following people generally, whereas “wish” doesn’t require it, but is that all it is?)

“At least Santos had the Courage, Conviction and Intelligence to ALWAYS VOTE REPUBLICAN!” Just astonishing that we’ve reached a point where the President says aloud “Republicans can do whatever they want without fear of reprisal” and nearly half the country is cool with it because it’s their side.

"Four stars!"—Brian Tallerico, RogerEbert.com

Just sticking this here so I can refer to it when someone inevitably asks me why MR. SCORSESE, which the NYT inexplicably included among this week’s movie reviews, isn’t Skandie-eligible.

I’ve been laughing at this for like three days now.

SOUTH PARK following their fifth S27 episode (of an announced 10) with an episode about the dumbass 6-7 thing and having it “inexplicably” be episode one of S28 is one of their funniest bits. Like having the final episode of S12 be about triskaidekaphobia and then jumping to S14.

Close…brushes of the third kind?

I’m not complaining.

I’m fine.