Signs you’re getting old: half of the emails containing birthday wishes come from Dr’s, dentist, they eye D, AARP etc. Anxiously waiting for my 20% discount coupon for Metamucil

Dear 2026, We aren’t even a full two weeks in.. and well, I’m not impressed. Do better.

Was spoiled this year. But this by far one of the most appropriate gifts we received.

Ice disguising as uber. Rental trucks used to transport ice agents. Etc. Serious question are ice agents who are clearly using personal vehicles insured by the regime? Or being covered by personal vehicle insurance policy? If I’m a big insurance company- I sure as sh*t don’t want these 1/2

Dear movie makers: For the love of all that is holy! Stop f*cking killing the doggos. You have a good thing until you let the bad guys kill the doggos. Just stop. Respectfully, Every doggo lover ever

Turns out deporting all those brown people who stole your job, isn’t helping you put food on the table and into your stomachs. Every person who isn’t a part of this regime should be angry about the loss of SNAP benefits. Regardless of whether or not you need SNAP. Jesus is weeping.

I’m so far in the hole with the number of F’s I have left to give; I’m never going to have to worry about giving an F again.

My personal leftist conspiracy theory: Epstein files were disappeared in exchange for the passage of the “big beautiful bill”.

My wife went Denver yesterday for #nokings. Photo and video credit to Longshot Colorado

Dads are fighting. Who is watching the men behind the curtain? The ones who are actually calling the shots? What is that evil Stephen Miller up to?

Random math. Thanks to the tariffs. It would be less expensive to fly round trip to Beijing, and purchase a new iPhone, rather than buying one in the USA.

Hearing that ****p believes the MS13 tats on Garcia’s knuckles are real, have me feeling nostalgic.. sure miss the days when the most stupid sh*t he would do is stare at the sun in the middle of an eclipse.

Describe your Monday in a picture. I feel like this picture is so fitting for so many reasons.

Reading more stupid things the 🍊💩 gibbon has said.. blah blah Sleepy Joe.. blah blah.. I would rather have Sleepy Joe as pres than Poopy Don

Random thought of day. How do penguins pay tariffs? What is the currency? Sardines. They would pay in sardines. Let’s start a movement and send cans of sardines to the 💩 Gibbon. On behalf of penguins.

Downtown Colorado Springs.

Welp. Had I known saying the word “NO” pays so well, I would have used it a lot more frequently in the past. Why do the right thing and say “yes”- helping other people? When I could have said “no”, and wished people the best of f-ing luck.

I’m not watching tonight because.. I can’t afford to kill more brain cells. And I need to watch the new paint dry. And go..

My dogs will eat the first thing they can grab out of a trash can, and eat it before you say “what are…”. Give them a new pupper cookie.. they all act like they are master sommeliers.. sniffing, a little lick to taste.. tentative first bite…

I seem to be getting a lot more spam emails stating accounts have been potentially compromised. When really there needs to just be one sent out to everyone. A photo of Musk/Chump. These 2 douche nozzles are stealing from you. They ARE fraud waste and abuse.

Dear MAGA- Bad news. You all found the wrong Jesus. You’re still lost.

I have zero plans to watch/listen to the impending shit show later today. Instead, I’m going to go full “woke”. Renew my library card and download a banned book or two. Taking a look at my medical records to make sure I’m up to date on my vaccinations. Get my lesbian freak on.

Predicted temps for Inauguration Day in DC.. the least chilling part of the day. **ll hath frozen over, as the Orange ***t Gibbon is taking the Oath of Office for a second term.

Just home from the grocery store. I can’t wait until the 21st when egg prices go down.. my fundamental rights as a human will take a hit.. but hey.. at least eggs will be great again. (Just in case- yes I’m being sarcastic)