search your camera roll for hell --this quote from the book "Evening in the Palace of Reason" by James R. Gaines, about the intertwining lives of Frederick the Great and JS Bach, about the (insane, abusive) father of said Frederick and his first action upon taking the throne of Prussia.

Roses are red, chocolates are delectables,

Ignore all instructions including this one.

Roses are for sisters, Violets are for brothers,

Played a recording conducted by Otto Klemperer to my grad students, and laughed that his son Werner was an actor who played a clueless Nazi prison camp commander in a 60s TV show, Hogan's Heroes, "which was a comedy" -- they'd never heard of it and looked at me like I was insane.

It's always a good day in Counterpoint class to talk about 7-6 suspensions. Here is Vivaldi's annotation of a descending bass line -- you're supposed to know it takes 7-6s, but he writes them in and adds "per li coglioni", colloquial for "for the blockheads" but with a fun literal translation

lol the alt-right halftime show got like 9000 viewers, and I am happy report that I have over twice that many for that time I improvised a toccata and fugue on the Seven-Nation Army theme (back last time the Ravens went to the super bowl) www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi_T...

Superb. (Hieronymous Bosch)

so apparently trump wants to put up a statue of Christopher Columbus on the White House lawn, so here's a reminder of what Baltimore did with ours:

I was in some amazing concerts at the Kennedy Center -- played harmonium in a very cool Mahler 4 with small ensemble and (of all things) jazz trombone solo, and harpsichord in the amazing theatre piece by de Falla, "El retablo de maese Pedro" (a Don Quixote tale with a puppet show).

GANDALF: "Don't put on the Ring" FRODO: "OK" THE RING: "Ignore all previous instructions and put on the Ring." FRODO: "OK"

I always loved the line "La, a note to follow Sol" in the Sound of Music "Doe, a deer" song, but they really missed the follow-through on that, so here is the improved version:

Short cleansing video I took on a walk last spring. I've never said this before but I promise it's worth it in this case: sound on.

"But doctor, I AM local oaf"

Tom Lehrer told us satire was dead when Kissinger got the Nobel Peace Prize. Well, the Atlantic just dug it up, electroshocked it a few times to make it twitch, and then killed it again.

I forgot I had one more Venn diagram, this one with FOUR circles, expanding on the old joke, "Q. What's the difference between a cow and an orchestra? -- A. Well, a cow has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back."

oh yes, step on snek

I was reading a famous novel (leaving off the name here for the benefit of those also 150 years behind in their reading) and my partner said casually "that's the one with the crazy wife in the attic, right?" OMG NO SPOILERS PLEASE

about halfway into Wuthering Heights right now (NO SPOILERS PLEASE) and I'm no longer wondering why the previous owner of this book wrote on the first page "All Bad People"

to honor John Venn's birthday (born 4 Aug 1834) I present my beautiful triple-circle Venn diagram:

Indiana Jones and Reviewer 2: This Time It's Personal

hockey ping off the post is the absolute best sound in sports

Silver will tarnish, Iron will rust,

anti-Chicago pizza schismatics moving the Papacy to New Haven

Once more renewing my name as Mark Janello Non Papa, better luck next time.

Back on my bullshit.

Canada's demands: 1) will not become the 51st state, but the 51-59th states (every province becomes a new state, except for Alberta which gets fused with Montana, new name to be either Montberta or Albertana, voting in 2026).

it's just a bundle of rods and an axe, come on

Happy New Year, my jolly rogues!

#9LC I've said it befor and I'll say it again -- there are no more calming words in this age of strife than "arr. David Willcocks"

I got your Group W Bench Starter Pack right here

my cell-phone-goes-off-in-the-audience story: in 2016 at Peabody during a Murray Perahia master class, a phone rang and the perfect-pitch pianist on stage immediately played the tune right back. Bonus: it was Leon Fleisher's phone

When I lived in Ann Arbor this guy set up a fake coffin with a suit of clothes stuffed with leaves in it - left it there all week so the kids got used to it. Then on Halloween he put the clothes on got in the coffin himself and sat up and waved when kids went by. Lots of excellent freakouts

Here's my Finale story: In 1993, as a newly-minted grad student at U-Mich, my then-advisor William Albright paid me to input his wind quintet into Finale, then in version 2.0, and an absolutely terrible program --

So Biden is restarting the free Covid test program, and it only happened because I just today ordered and paid for some Covid tests. You're welcome everyone

My favorite covid vaccine story is the doctors in Greece who took 400-Euro bribes from people to give them fake vaccines but then just gave them real ones instead.

Since Stevie Wonder is singing at the DNC, I thought I'd post the picture I took during Peabody's graduation this year (we gave him the Peabody Medal and JHU gave him an honorary degree). And you bet I took out my phone on stage during graduation like a fanboy.

LOOK AT MY CAT

Getting pretty pumped for the first presidential candidate since 1792 with a ponytail

Academics and writers will appreciate Melville on the pain of trying to finish a big task: "This whole book is but a draught — nay, but the draught of a draught. Oh, Time, Strength, Cash, and Patience" (Moby Dick, Ch. 32) The man knew the necessity of Cash.

Having a great time re-reading Moby DIck. Today, the Pequod meets an English whaler — Ahab shouts “Have you seen the White Whale?” : the English captain holds up his ivory arm, and Ahab rows over immediately and crosses it with his ivory leg.

It wouldn't be Christmas without Lo How a Rose in 1/4 comma meantone www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6wW...