Another PP goal! We have a rep to protect #njdevils

Timo time! PP strong!

Loving Connor Brown so far; he wants back in the Stanley Cup finals #njdevils

The Devils may never lose again

Bratter with the shorty! It’s a ducking beauty #njdevils

Leave Pesce’s face alone!

Go Nico! #njdevils

Timo time! #njdevils

Today I made chicken paprikash with potatoes and broccoli. Everything came out awesome

Bratter how I’ve missed you! #njdevils

I’m behind on gardening but the overgrown skeleton trellis has its charm

The Rangers scored the same amount of goals they would have if no one showed up

Welcome back, Cotter! #njdevils

Carolina should be the Devils biggest rival since they keep knocking us out of the playoffs but it’s just so hard to care about Carolina #njdevils

If it’s any consolation I think the camps will be more like the POW camps and less like the concentration camps. Also we can annoy gen z with Hogan’s Heroes references

The Luke Hughes contract is tall privilege #njdevils

It’s nice that the generals didn’t clap or cheer but I still I wanna know if they’re gonna order troops to kill us all in trumps civil war on cities that he’s been very open about

So we’re all gonna celebrate George Floyd’s birthday on October 14th, right?

Building statues of ugly people is kinda mean

Jimmy Fallon can win the internet if he wears this on his next show

Everybody gangsta until the Hat Man shows up

Melania does sound like an Elden Ring character

Nancy Mace is definitely at the congressional GOP cocaine orgies

My only copium is that the gop is alienating older audiences when they target late night. People who are generally not affected by trumps policies will not stand for being forced to watch Fallon

Breaking: John Oliver has been deported to South Sudan

If this FBI came across a single left wing social media post from Tyler Robinson it would be plastered all over the media 24/7

Don’t stop now, Etsy witches; you gotta try it again! Do it for science 🧪

Show no mercy, South Park

I think the best path forward with Israel is to stop sending them any aid but still allow them to buy defensive weapons from us. I think we need to let go of any grand delusions of saving mass murdering religious fanatics from themselves; we can’t even save Florida

You’re not fooling anyone

I hope Newsom keeps up the trolling after trump dies; maximum petty

Inshallah

Don’t worry about the CDC purge and walkout! Chris Pratt says RFK jr is saving the kids

If he lives long enough I think there’s a good chance that trump will crash Taylor’s wedding. I wonder if polymarket has the action on this

So we’re still on for pegging at Cracker Barrel?

We really should’ve Pokémon went to the polls

Trump’s sole redeeming quality is that he has one cankle in the grave

I wonder how long before democrats start falling out of windows

People are saying that JD Vance is poisoning trumps diet cokes

My sweet girl Kupo is six months old. She’s a good happy friend

Who needs Ozempic? Every headline from this administration makes me wanna throw up

I’ve lost interest in the NFL in recent years but the twink cheerleaders might bring me back this season

Not sure how I feel about Hunter Biden hypothetically running for President but he did win the dick measuring contest fair and square

Is Vivek still running for governor of Ohio on the “white people can’t raise their kids and Indians deserve all the good paying jobs” platform?

Why doesn’t James Comey, the largest FBI director, simply eat Kash Patel?

At least the Alaska summit will be funny when they send their worst Putin body double and Trump can’t tell the difference

Plastic surgeons must all be resist libs because they make magats look like shit

I can’t explain how but being afraid of wheelies is anti-American

Can’t wait until the Gen X magats have to care for their aged Medicare parents who are gonna get kicked out of nursing homes. Since there’s no more good news they could at least report on this

I’m horrified at the Gen Z drop in partying; the Beastie Boys fought and one of them died for our right to party