Is it strange when people who live in a city put pictures of local landmarks up on their walls? Those are right outside!

When you are about to get pooped on. 🪶

Today's discourse has Salt-N-Pepa stuck in my head and this is entirely unacceptable.

I just bought a five pound bag of grapefruit to spite my heart medication. Fuck you blood pressure, fuck you all to hell.

Coalition of the coerced.

Looks like every generation is going to have to learn ironic racism only breeds the real thing, just with different targets I guess?

🎵I've Got a Lovely Gummy Octopus🎵

I wonder which bird tore out all the plants? 🪶

nothing like lower back pain making you drop the nice dinner you were planning to make in order to keep your mind off of the world. fuck.

So, if Iran does mine the Strait of Hormuz, is it really as bad as everyone says?

So all Hegseth has done is tell any tech company not to even consider working with the DoD, right?

Pombon feels just a wee bit pandering. Oh look at us, we made a fluffy dog, oh how daring and brave.

Do I drive 100 miles round trip to save ~100 dollars on a replacement computer chair?

Post a pic you took, no context, to bring some zen to the feed

Finding someone on Reddit who calls out the Brian Herbert Dune books as some of their favorite books and I can't even.

Nothing cooler than telling everyone how cool you are.

Man, I took the day off to do a deep deep clean because a couple wanted to surrender their budgies to me today and they just called me to let me know they gave them to someone else and what the hell.

Building an AI that lifts weights for me. I'm gonna be so buff.

I want an AI that I can just tell "you moved your cufflinks to <place> because you are dumb and think that's a good place to store them" and two years later I can ask it where the hell my cuff links are and it knows.

You shouldn't be allowed to change both your pfp and username at the same time, it takes me weeks to figure out who this new asshole is and why I'm following them.

How did I end up with so many usb cables?

Where does all this dust come from?

did he shit himself to death on stage yet?

What if he shits himself in public again?

Today she's obsessed with flying over and landing on my nose/eyebrows and my screaming "not the face, not the face" is just encouraging her and my eyelid now has talon scratches and birds man, birds. 🪶

Republicans agree, eat the rich.

When you buy bulk cardamon from the bulk spices store everything looks like an excuse to add cadamon.

Is there a polymarket for It Happening during the SotU?

searching for song lyrics and google keeps trying to send me to rehab

Sorry it's a two bird photo lunch today. 🪶

But she won't let me touch her 🪶

Cheese fried egg, or why I should not be trusted with a bag of shredded cheese.

Apricots are only good because they are ripe when summer is so close but the good fruit is still not ready. But the sulfur dried ones are good. I never could handle papayas though, even when eaten where they ripen naturally. Taste like vomit.

I can't get over how delicious tonic water and sumac syrup is. I could drink this stuff until I get quinine poisoning.

Failing at target training. 🪶

Script by William Gaines, cofounder of Mad, and Al Feldstein, the editor for it's golden years. (56-85! What a run!)

Birds are half snake. 🪶

Having a big bag of shredded cheese is dangerous. Just made a fried egg on a bed of fried cheese and it was absolutely delicious.

Dear god, Slow Gods is good. Read it.

What, they couldn't find a freeway 10 miles longer?

Every time I see people guillotine post I wonder if they know we bandsaws now.

Ok, I read The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August and liked it, but I never read anything else by Claire North/Catherine Webb and I'm now reading Slow Gods and... I think I have a bunch of her books I need to read. I'm only 1/4 of the way in and it's... wow.

Why are people so weird about calling any food they are ashamed of White People food? Do you think black people don't eat trash? Think latinos don't eat trash? Asians line up for Panda fucking Express. Stop pretending white people are the only ones out there who eat non-"authentic" food.

So, like, at this very moment, are things tariffed? If I had a package arrive right now, would I have to pay?

Argh, my in-laws got an antivirus ad telling them they GOT HACKED and are now freaked out and panicking and damnit not today, today is a good day.

Joker drops his pants to show a botched circumcision highlighted in red lipstick. "You want to know how I got this scar?"

Why can't I survive on just raisin bread and butter?

Just realized RFK Jr is totally that older dude who constantly is looking for excuses to take his shirt off at parties.

Wonder why chocolate chips are so damn expensive these days, check to see if there are high tariffs on cocoa and would you fucking look at that!

Dancer in the Dark Fuck that movie and fuck Lars von Trier. (Although I still hold space for The Kingdom in my heart.)