People who talk shit about pie being second rate have never had good pie. It's got to be ripe fruit (something far too many people have never had) and the crust has got to be good (meaning lots of butter). And it can't taste like cornstarch.

And we're inventing a time machine to do it.

Goddamnit this headline made me do a whole little improv song and dance... when I only thought my partner had already left the house.

She is absolutely refusing to get on hands tonight. 🪶

Thank you @gwenckatz.bsky.social!

Saw Canada Geese today. Forgot how much better the day is when I get to see those big feathery balls of fury. No pictures because I was too busy vibing with their anger.

Bought shitloads of Thanksgiving food. Nothing to eat.

Next time I think shopping at Berkeley Bowl for Thanksgiving stuff on the Monday before is a good idea, someone please kick me in the head till I'm too concussed to go outside.

While it's true, the whole "easy mode" framing is just unhelpful. Sometimes easy mode is too hard, and telling people that they just need to get over it is the worst. It's like telling a clinically depressed person they just need to get out more and maybe smile a bit.

Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown, Charlie Brown.

You know, with just a little bit of ingenuity you can combine the two.

I wanna fuck you like an animal I wanna feel you from the inside I wanna fuck you like an animal My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to God

She dreams of Kaiju. 🪶

It's probably a good thing my partner won't let me take all the in search of a rehome parrots home with me, but they make me so sad. Noticing a lot of COVID era ones are getting dumped now that they are no longer babies.

Yeah, rereading this in the cold light of day, this isn't cum play, it's watersports.

The Costco sized ginger citron honey jar was the best purchase.

Remembering Trump 1 when Pelosi and Schumer meet with Trump and were all "he likes us!"

The swing has been in their cage for months, and Beaker finally used it! 🪶

This doesn't quite give a sense of scale. think medium sized baby. Perfect end of night food. (The quesadilla suiza is even better. basically a super quesadilla with meat and you are not finishing it unless you are under 25 and want to hate yourself tomorrow.)

Wait, if we get out of this with California redistricting and Texas not... Masterful gambit Trump sir.

Between this and the raised fist post ear piercing photo, does the very racist president think he's a Black Panther?

No political sex gossip just birds. 🪶

I've had Pachelbel's Canon stuck in my head for so long I may have accidentally taught it to Beaker. Either that or I'm making order out of the chaos of his warbling.

When people ask why I care about antisemitism on the left when the right is full of Nazis, this is why. This shit is poison to true liberation and it needs to be 100% unacceptable. Fuck, what a great job destroying the good the you have done, 50501.

They made him grow that goatee/mustache thing for the ad, didn't they?

Someone please tell the gremlins they can't have my bones, I'm using them.

Come on new speaker fight! We need this!

If someone was excited about a big on-sale bag of tootsie rolls would you be worried they were an alien?

Do I want to know why everyone is making Nancy Reagan/Donald Trump jokes? Because I have a feeling I don't.

Mailbox lizard!

One of the perks of being the only person in my partner's family who likes to cook is I get to do Thanksgiving again. One of the downsides is nobody understands why I don't just make what I made last year and everyone liked. I already did that people, sheesh!

No matter how much I look it up and practice beforehand, I cannot pronounce "revueltas" in a way that doesn't make the person behind the counter give me the most "you fucking cracker" look ever.

My partner just came home with a quart of guac she nabbed from work event leftovers and I need everyone to know how awesome she is.

Will Steam please tell me how much that cube costs because it's 100% what I want from an indie gaming device.

If she hears you bought Starbucks she's coming to bite you, and I should warn you she might be small but her beak packs a wallop when she's mad. 🪶

First season of The OA Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (does that count?) Second season of Archer Maybe the second season of Fleabag?

I've been to movies where there's almost nobody else in the theater, but I don't think I've been the only people there. Kinda nice.

Italian my ass.

Bought lobster as a thank you meal somewhere between the store and my house they vanished. I am pissed.

At a book store that has separate YA, teen, and adult sections for different genres and Jesus Christ I have no idea where anything might be shelved.

If you see this, post one image from your device with no context

Why do I have Pachelbel's Canon stuck in my head, I haven't been to wedding in years!

Post you from a different era

A rare moment of nondestructive calm. 🪶

Do you like tricky puzzle games? You owe it to yourself to try the playest/demo of Demon Bluff on Steam. store.steampowered.com/app/3522600/...

But you had to type it with an AZERTY keyboard so it was unhackable.

The man should never have to pay for a sandwich in this town again.

Is it just me, or before Trump turned the judiciary into his own personal goon squad did we not have new stories that clarified who appointed the federal judge in a case?

My partner is 100% not thrilled that today's must sing brianworm is now "arachnid megacity"

I've only watched 15 minutes of this and it is already the best stupid movie I've seen in a long while.