My next band will be called The Yips.

What would you name him? #Trump #diaper #poop #incontinence

Good luck, cancer.

#Fucktrump #fuckmaga

ARONO 🤷🏻‍♂️

Happy Died-For-Nothing Day

Alternative historical novel idea no. 1: A giant shark kills and eats all of Columbus’s crew before reaching the New World. OR: A giant shark kills and eats all of Columbus’s crew after reaching the New World, but before making it back to Europe.

QUESTION: isn’t speech AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT the type of speech the founders were most concerned with? I don’t think they were as interested in your right to call someone a 🤬. They just wanted to protect the right of citizens to criticize their government. It doesn’t mean you get to be an asshole.

Can anyone explain to me how Barron Trump “earned” a billion dollars?

STOP TRYING TO KILL HIM. HE NEEDS TO DIE IN PRISON.

DONALD TRUMP IS A BIG DUMB JERK

Guys. Reminder: they still want us to be violent. That would be a bad idea. Remember: they don’t fear guns. They fear comedians. #Resist

I made this like a year ago. It gets more relevant every day. #Fucktrump #war #Iran #israel #straitofhormuz

NOT ALL ASSHOLES ARE BIGOTS BUT ALL BIGOTS ARE ASSHOLES

He’s spent more on his hair than most of us will make in a lifetime and it’s ALWAYS looked fucking stupid.

We are mere numbers to them.

🙏REPOST TAZ 🙏 Hes only got 19 REPOSTS ffs. @nycacc.bsky.social IS going to slaughter him. He has a rescue but needs a foster NOW! Its free to foster, vet, travel, food all pd by rescue! C'mon folks it takes a sec of your time + you could save him!

I just got a text that a MAGA loving family member just had a baby. I really wanted to reply “blessed be the fruit.”

I just had a comforting thought… what if they use the #BlueWave in the #midterms as an excuse to say “see? We don’t need a voting rights act!”

#Kash #KashPatel

Every MAGA response to criticism:

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

Guys, I gotta come clean. The bastards got me down for a minute yesterday. Won't happen again. #Mayday #Gilead

AOC went to medical school but had to drop out due to lack of funds. So politics is just her fallback career. There might be a lesson in there somewhere.

Can someone please share a link to a video of the Justin Pearson/Security guy exchange? Just a simple here’s-what-happened without commentary. I’m having trouble finding it.Thanks! #JustinPearson

There doesn’t need to be another single CENTRIST DEMOCRAT in Congress or the White House.

I will personally give him cpr just to keep him alive for trial. That’s how much I love this country! #8647

Rudy Giuliani is a turd.

Of COURSE I'm a trophy husband. Just not first place.

Whenever you read a headline or statement about how A.I. is going to fix everything, remember to add, "for those who can afford it." Example: "A.I. will solve human aging FOR THOSE WHO CAN AFFORD IT." Or "A.I. will cure blindness FOR THOSE WHO CAN AFFORD IT."

I kinda liked #ErikaKirk for a while. She did this to herself.

Guys, hey, I need to raise $7,000 quickly to save my house. The amount shown in the GoFundMe is from months ago, and I currently have zero dollars. Please help. 🙏🏻@suzyqfit4u.bsky.social is in need of some help and compassion !! Do what you can and if not, please repost. gofund.me/097bef830

What we could’ve had vs. what we got: #Trump #fucktrump #fuckmaga #healthcare #resist

I think kimmel’s “expectant widow” joke was fuckin hilarious.

#kimmel #JimmyKimmel #IStandWithKimmel

JESUS CHRIST CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE MAKE THEM RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES?!?

#Trump #fucktrump #fuckmaga #25thAmendment #impeach

#NoKings is awesome and fun, but it’s nowhere near what we should be doing. Time to color outside the lines. #resist

Hot take: WE NEED A CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT REGULAING THE USE OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS. That much power must never rest with one person. #Trump #Iran #war #nukes #Israel

This is real. Not satire. Not the onion. Real. We’re in trouble. #impeach #fucktrump