My only pie opinion is that pumpkin pie is such a trash pie if you bring it to a gathering I'm hosting you don't get any silverware, like the animal you are

Not sure why my IG reels is suddenly full of pro-incandescent multicolored Christmas light propaganda but I am definitely immune to it. Mine is a warm white LED house forevermore

If it can be destroyed by an AI chatbot it deserves to be destroyed by an AI chatbot, or whatever the hell P.C. Hodgell said

Boomer parents reply to an important text within 24 hours challenge, difficulty level: never even attempted

Love that we traveled several hours and spent thousands of dollars so these two could sleep on a different couch

lol. lmao. rotfl, even

You think the guy who sang the Grinch song ever talked dirty to his wife in that voice

A bunch of middle-schoolers just burst into my office cheering as soon as this popped up. I hate it here

Kids, this is why you fight tooth and nail to own your recordings

Once again, running the entire internet through the same four companies has turned out to be a terrible idea

Every word of Olivia Nuzzi's book that I have read has been against my will. We should all know a lot less about each other.

I'm only about 50% sure this is for a manufacturing plant and not a statewide polycule recruitment ad but if you have an open mind and a strong back it's probably worth checking out either way

Whatever, football is dumb anyway and I never liked it

Like a fine Thanksgiving turkey

Alabama may be cooked here

Shane Beamer really looked at the coaching market at halftime and said y'all won't dare fire me no matter what I do

Chat is it bad when people keep saying this about your website since it opened two and a half years ago

Be careful everybody, my dog got too hot in front of the fireplace and melted

Fuck it, I'm counting this as seeing the northern lights in central SC

Jason Voorhees came back from the dead like fifteen times, James Bond scriptwriters cannot possibly be having a skill issue here

What if, for a change, we did not send the dumbest people alive to the United States Senate

Garrett Nussmeier just saw his own ass

C'mon Tigers let's see those surrender cobras

Is it bad that I kind of want it to learn to breath air and walk on land

Man I wish Dick Cheney could have lived to see this, and then died tomorrow morning

Today's already gonna be a good day

Adopted family this year has a 7 year old boy whose entire wishlist consists of "dinosaur" and "Harry Potter books" and man this kid is the easiest person I've ever bought presents for. I'm about to fuck your whole house up with dinosaurs and seven regifted books

Most years I am happy about the time changes (built different) but not tonight. An *extra hour* of 2025? Naw. Hell naw.

Jasmine is too powerful, GBBO needs to nerf her

This was about 20 hours of their daily programming so is MTV just going to...stop?

Is there a drug that replicates the feeling of a meeting being cancelled five minutes before it was set to start because I want to be on that all the time

Greatest psyop of our time is how Chex convinced America that what their parties needed was a giant bowl of Worcestershire-flavored breakfast cereal

Do not be excited that Brian Kelly is fired. Now he will roam freely and may alight on a program you cherish. Only LSU is truly safe from his dark magic.

Who up watching some Cocks get beat

Never* a doubt, RTR *terms and.conditions apply

Not ideal!

With any luck Bama can get Mike Shula fired a second time today

After all these years it's still deeply weird to hear M16s firing while I'm sitting at the dog park

I don't want to see *any* Senate candidates nekkid but at this point I fear it may be the only way to rule out secret Nazi tattoos

I'm sorry honey, I don't care if it's 45 degrees in the mornings, if I turn the fireplace on this early in October I *LOSE*

If your life has taken you on a journey where you just have a big ol' Nazi tattoo on your chest, one option is simply keeping your shirt on in the presence of others if you have even the slightest hint of shame about it. Or get it covered up with a bigger, less-Nazi tattoo! Or get it lasered off!

Avoiding the "accidentally got a blatantly Nazi tattoo" pratfall by simply not having any tattoos in the first place

Anyway: fuck, marry, kill with the Morgan boys (impossible level)

Always super cool how one company can have an outage and a third of the internet just stops working

The Diplomat makes me ask "Why does..." about a lot of things but "Why does Eidra cut her own bangs?" might be at the top of that list

AND TENNESSEE TOO

Bama with a safety and a 98-yard pick 6 in the same game? I am AROUSED.

Hell yes that's a safety, we got a real pervert's game now

I fear that Ryan Williams might be Back

Estie bestie got Lanced, nooooo