Seeing a lot more chest hair in this WWDC than is probably warranted

I have never hated anything in my life as much as Pink hates standing on solid ground

Noooooo they took our whole ass point

Finishing second at Monaco is always the move. A handshake from Prince Thumb or a kiss from Princess Charlene is the easiest choice ever

FUCK YEAH CADILLAC 1 WHOLE ASS POINT USA USA USA #F1

me, tearfully pointing a gun at Morgan Freeman: Say ATTR-CM one more goddamn time, I dare you

T1 in Monaco is going to go CRAZY tomorrow

Congrats to Gracie Abrams for all these sold-out shows, I guess (Lost the ticket wars again)

In a generation's time no one will believe George Santos was real

Was I destined to b the last person on earth to find out that the dude from Pomplamoose is also the CEO of Patreon?

Science needs guardrails

My company works in new home construction and I can promise none of you are hating anyone named Pulte enough

This one absolutely is worth burning South Carolina to the ground over

Had a vision of rolling up a creamy mozzarella ball in a tortilla with some rice and refried beans and hot sauce. I'd call it a burrato

Carowinds is an amazing place that lets you hold "What a janky-ass park" at the exact same time as "I was not familiar with your game"

Sand Mountain church behavior right here

Having a blast on vacation (getting my Real ID)

Aw George, you hate to see it (I love to see this)

Katherine Legge doesn't have to rush to get to Charlotte now, at least

Du-du-dudu, Isack Hadjar #F1

Damn, not Rowdy

I wish I could get back the 30 minutes I just spent reading through the DNC autopsy. Missed every obvious lesson there was and some DNC debate pervert countered nearly every point it *did* make with "Nuh uh, prove it!" Just a whole-ass national party treating real elections like preseason games

I just saw an SCGov ad that opened up with "THE WOKE TRANS LOBBY HAS AN ALLY IN NANCY MACE" and I wish they'd quit trying to make her sound cool

Good, I was just thinking about how my lobster is too buttery and my electric bill too low

Got some peanuts boiling in the slow cooker overnight. She doesn't know it yet but my wife is gonna wake up to a house that's STANKIN.

Uno reverse card!

I can think of one rule we need

I tried explaining that it's still twelve minutes to dinner time and he just keeps staring at me exactly like this

$30 tickets in 2026, I will follow this woman into hell

Who all fighting for their lives for Hayley Williams tickets this morning

I didn't even know you *could* pronounce 'SCOTUS' with a hard R but they found a way

I don't know about you buddy but in this house we are correctly babied (none)

OK yes CNN has not been *great* for the world but Ted Turner did also bring us the Monday Night Wars and TCM so the good far outweighs the bad

CVS has run through all their suppliers for generic Adderall and no more is coming anytime soon because the manufacturers can't afford to ship them because of fuel shortages caused by Current Events. Very cool!

Behold, the royal family

lol at Jay-Z trying to pose solo for a second while every single camera is pointed up the stairs at Beyonce and Blue

Blake Lively sure does know how to show up for a Met Gala

Anna Wintour should stand at the top of the steps and THIS-IS-SPARTA-kick dudes who show up in a basic three-piece or black tux

Once again begging for the Vogue Met Gala livestream to run a chyron. Some of us are too employed to know who all of these people are

Congratulations to Rudy Ruettiger on his imminent promotion to "worst living Rudy"

Big hoss is a scratch, cancel the whole Derby

Why does Great White, the largest horse, not simply eat the other eighteen?

I don't know how I feel about NBC's Kentucky Derby coverage cutting to commercial with Pony by Ginuwine

Dangit Apple TV summer is coming up and I got stuff to do. Why did you make Widow's Bay so perfect

Even the bees are getting gentrified and white around here. Rent’s fixing to go way up

Found a way to end South Carolina's drought (having a shed installed today) You're welcome, everyone. This thunderstorm is my doing.

“What’s your secret, how did you get your roses to bloom like that?” The secret is neglect. Don’t even look at them. They get watered when the grass does. Deadheading? Food? Not in this house.

There is no way Cassie got all those flowers for $50,000. Who's her flower guy?

I've seen enough. Crucifixion gotta make a comeback.

'Separate' knows how to fight, real old-farmer strength