Jason
@jasongarner.swifties.social
📤 410
📥 335
📝 4837
I wasn't good at Twitter and I'm not gonna be good at this, either
My only pie opinion is that pumpkin pie is such a trash pie if you bring it to a gathering I'm hosting you don't get any silverware, like the animal you are
about 4 hours ago
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Not sure why my IG reels is suddenly full of pro-incandescent multicolored Christmas light propaganda but I am definitely immune to it. Mine is a warm white LED house forevermore
1 day ago
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If it can be destroyed by an AI chatbot it deserves to be destroyed by an AI chatbot, or whatever the hell P.C. Hodgell said
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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Boomer parents reply to an important text within 24 hours challenge, difficulty level: never even attempted
1 day ago
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Love that we traveled several hours and spent thousands of dollars so these two could sleep on a different couch
2 days ago
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lol. lmao. rotfl, even
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
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You think the guy who sang the Grinch song ever talked dirty to his wife in that voice
4 days ago
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A bunch of middle-schoolers just burst into my office cheering as soon as this popped up. I hate it here
5 days ago
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Kids, this is why you fight tooth and nail to own your recordings
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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Once again, running the entire internet through the same four companies has turned out to be a terrible idea
8 days ago
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Every word of Olivia Nuzzi's book that I have read has been against my will. We should all know a lot less about each other.
8 days ago
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I'm only about 50% sure this is for a manufacturing plant and not a statewide polycule recruitment ad but if you have an open mind and a strong back it's probably worth checking out either way
9 days ago
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Whatever, football is dumb anyway and I never liked it
10 days ago
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Like a fine Thanksgiving turkey
add a skeleton here at some point
10 days ago
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Alabama may be cooked here
10 days ago
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Shane Beamer really looked at the coaching market at halftime and said y'all won't dare fire me no matter what I do
10 days ago
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Chat is it bad when people keep saying this about your website since it opened two and a half years ago
add a skeleton here at some point
12 days ago
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Be careful everybody, my dog got too hot in front of the fireplace and melted
14 days ago
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Fuck it, I'm counting this as seeing the northern lights in central SC
14 days ago
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Jason Voorhees came back from the dead like fifteen times, James Bond scriptwriters cannot possibly be having a skill issue here
add a skeleton here at some point
15 days ago
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What if, for a change, we did not send the dumbest people alive to the United States Senate
add a skeleton here at some point
15 days ago
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Garrett Nussmeier just saw his own ass
17 days ago
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C'mon Tigers let's see those surrender cobras
17 days ago
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Is it bad that I kind of want it to learn to breath air and walk on land
add a skeleton here at some point
19 days ago
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Man I wish Dick Cheney could have lived to see this, and then died tomorrow morning
21 days ago
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Today's already gonna be a good day
add a skeleton here at some point
22 days ago
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Adopted family this year has a 7 year old boy whose entire wishlist consists of "dinosaur" and "Harry Potter books" and man this kid is the easiest person I've ever bought presents for. I'm about to fuck your whole house up with dinosaurs and seven regifted books
23 days ago
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Most years I am happy about the time changes (built different) but not tonight. An *extra hour* of 2025? Naw. Hell naw.
24 days ago
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Jasmine is too powerful, GBBO needs to nerf her
25 days ago
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This was about 20 hours of their daily programming so is MTV just going to...stop?
add a skeleton here at some point
26 days ago
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Is there a drug that replicates the feeling of a meeting being cancelled five minutes before it was set to start because I want to be on that all the time
28 days ago
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Greatest psyop of our time is how Chex convinced America that what their parties needed was a giant bowl of Worcestershire-flavored breakfast cereal
29 days ago
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Do not be excited that Brian Kelly is fired. Now he will roam freely and may alight on a program you cherish. Only LSU is truly safe from his dark magic.
about 1 month ago
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Who up watching some Cocks get beat
about 1 month ago
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Never* a doubt, RTR *terms and.conditions apply
about 1 month ago
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Not ideal!
about 1 month ago
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With any luck Bama can get Mike Shula fired a second time today
about 1 month ago
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After all these years it's still deeply weird to hear M16s firing while I'm sitting at the dog park
about 1 month ago
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I don't want to see *any* Senate candidates nekkid but at this point I fear it may be the only way to rule out secret Nazi tattoos
about 1 month ago
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I'm sorry honey, I don't care if it's 45 degrees in the mornings, if I turn the fireplace on this early in October I *LOSE*
about 1 month ago
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If your life has taken you on a journey where you just have a big ol' Nazi tattoo on your chest, one option is simply keeping your shirt on in the presence of others if you have even the slightest hint of shame about it. Or get it covered up with a bigger, less-Nazi tattoo! Or get it lasered off!
about 1 month ago
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Avoiding the "accidentally got a blatantly Nazi tattoo" pratfall by simply not having any tattoos in the first place
about 1 month ago
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Anyway: fuck, marry, kill with the Morgan boys (impossible level)
about 1 month ago
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Always super cool how one company can have an outage and a third of the internet just stops working
about 1 month ago
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The Diplomat makes me ask "Why does..." about a lot of things but "Why does Eidra cut her own bangs?" might be at the top of that list
about 1 month ago
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AND TENNESSEE TOO
about 1 month ago
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Bama with a safety and a 98-yard pick 6 in the same game? I am AROUSED.
about 1 month ago
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Hell yes that's a safety, we got a real pervert's game now
about 1 month ago
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I fear that Ryan Williams might be Back
about 1 month ago
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Estie bestie got Lanced, nooooo
about 1 month ago
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